Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained
by Arise Sir Knight
Summary: Tormented by previous abuse, Merlin tentatively reaches out to Arthur who experiences an astonishing realisation.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1 : PAINFUL TO ACKNOWLEDGE**

Since Merlin's breakup with his boyfriend, Gaius always made sure that he knew he'd be welcome to bring a friend with him. He knew that he could but at the moment there wasn't anyone to bring. Neil and he had spent six months together, the first three had been happy but then everything went off course and he felt he was being put upon and he no longer trusted the older professor who had literally swept him off his feet three months previous.

They'd tiptoed around each other for another two months and then one night in a drunken rage, Neil had thrown Merlin's cat across the room. She had hit the fireplace awkwardly and irreparably damaged her back. She never walked again.

Merlin had been in shock that a respected veterinary surgeon and renowned academic would treat an animal with such hardness of heart. He also felt guilty because it was Neil's annoyance at him that had caused the over drinking and the loss of control. He had walked out that night taking her to Gaius's.

Gaius and he had worked on her hoping that the nerve and muscle damage would repair itself. She was heavily medicated but there was no improvement and sadly, Gaius had put the euthasol vial and a syringe on the table and had walked outside allowing Merlin time to say goodbye. He had put Daisy down himself, telling her that she was not only beautiful but very brave, really the best friend he could have ever wanted. He wrapped her in her own blanket and told her how sorry he was for having moved in with Neil and taking her with him.

Merlin had finally walked outside into the garden carrying her, Gaius took her while Merlin dug a grave and she was buried beneath the trees near the chicken house where she used to like to lie watching them when she came on holidays.

He returned to Cambridge, intending to pack up his belongings and move in with his friend Nick until he found his own place. He had been hurt by Neil and it would take him time to trust another person. He had lots of friends but he wasn't ready to commit to anyone romantically. He'd been immature and not experienced enough to stand back and take a long look at someone before promising them anything.

Neil had pleaded with him and he had inexplicably decided to give him another chance. He'd fallen in love with the idea of being in love and it would prove to be a lesson hard learned.

-0-0-

Sitting on the edge of his bed, Merlin looked at the rising sun, low in the sky. Slowly brightening Cambridge and on the horizon he could see the spires of Our Lady and the English Martyrs Church on Hills Road.

He hadn't slept well. He seemed to have spent the night trying to find where he had parked his car not remembering what it looked like and trying to figure out where the vet college was. He was glad to wake up and realise it had been an annoying dream.

He lay back on the bed and let his mind wander. He had a good hour before needing to get. He'd spoken to his mother last night. He knew she was worrying about him even though he tried to sound really upbeat for her.

He was determined to keep positive. He ran through his regular litany; he was all right looking, didn't smoke or drink, intelligent, well mannered and he knew he gravitated to nice people. His friends were all upstanding people, well thought of and respected in their fields.

He had realised early on that he was not a loner. He liked people and enjoyed their company but had he let that cloud his mind? He'd liked having a boyfriend, he liked the company. They'd travelled and gone out socially. There was always someone to eat with and talk with at night.

He had thought at one point that he was loved by Neil who had been fifteen years older than him. He had introduced him to all his friends and he had been accepted by them. He was by far the youngest in the group but he had never felt out of place.

His mother had never met Neil, for some unfathomable reason he had held back telling her how serious the relationship had been. Gaius had met him and said nothing negative about him until the day they had buried Daisy.

"Merlin, it could have been you!" Merlin had looked up into Gaius's sad eyes, "I thank God that you were not the recipient of his anger."

Merlin had blushed as towards the end, Neil had on occasions threatened him and he had been frightened.

Gaius picked up on it. "Merlin, please look after yourself. Your mother wouldn't be able to manage if you were hurt."

He had begged Gaius not to tell his mother what had happened to Daisy, "She doesn't need to know, it will only makes her worry more."

Gaius looked at him directly and said, "You know that both your mother and I love you. We are very proud of you and support your choices in life, however in return, you must make careful choices. I never understood your attraction for Neil. He treated you more like an acquisition than a partner. I would hold my breath until I next saw you or you phoned."

Gaius looked up as he heard a sob and said, "My Boy, I didn't mean to upset you!"

"It's all right..." said Merlin sniffing. "I was so scared that no man would ever want me that when he asked me out I accepted. Looking back I was naive, I felt honoured that an older professor, a man of his stature liked me enough to invite me to his home."

Merlin stopped dead, seeing in his mind's eye that first night and the way Neil had laughed unkindly at his inexperience and ineptitude. Only to openly boast to his friends the following day that he'd taken his virginity and taught him a few things to boot, making Merlin feel like a guinea pig. A few of the others laughed but more remained silence and if Merlin had looked up at them he would have seen disgust for Neil and pain for Merlin.

"I regret it. If I could do it over again, I would have waited until I met someone whom I chose. Not someone who just wanted me on his arm in the streets or on his lap when he was with friends."

"Why didn't you leave him?"

"I was too scared. One evening at a dinner party, in front of his friends, I queried something he'd said and his friends had agreed with me. He said nothing until he got me home and forced himself on me and then threw me out of the bedroom into a laundry room, locking the door and I slept on the floor.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm sorry, I didn't know what was happening. I might have been able to help."

"No one could! I had phoned in sick as my bruises were too obvious. One of his friends took him to task when they saw me. That made Neil furious and once again, I was locked in the laundry room. It was then that I realised I had made a big mistake but was too scared of him to do anything... However, when I heard poor Daisy hit the fireplace, I didn't look back but left immediately. I guess I'm one of those people who learn the hard way.

"It made me feel insecure for a time, I lost my confidence and felt that the situation in which I had found myself was deserved," he pause shuddered and continued, "…and then I did the stupidest thing I could have done…I gave him a second chance."

Gaius put his arm across his shoulders saying, "Merlin, you are not the only person who has been taken advantage of by someone you thought you loved and you will not be the last."

"It was my friend Nick who got my mind on the right track again. He said that he thought I was wasting my time with Neil who'd got what he'd wanted and I should bail while I could. He also said a couple of choices words to describe him."

A suspicion of a smile crossed his face as he turned to Gaius and said, "But I won't repeat them now, as I do not want to shock you."

"I've been around for many a year, therefore nothing, my Dear Merlin, you can say will shock me! I'm ready for a drink, let's go down to the pub. We'll raise our glasses in memory of Daisy and forget…that bastard," he continued muttering quietly to himself.

Merlin had laughed as his uncle had used some rather shocking and uncomplimentary words to describe his former boyfriend, before continuing with a smile, "My Boy, I can assure you that out there", he gestured with open arms, "Prince Charming is waiting for you."

Thinking, 'I hope he comes soon!' Merlin followed his uncle back to the house.

He'd come a long way in the last year. He'd needed professional help but he had hooked up with his old friends, whom he had ignored while under his boyfriend's influence. Nowadays, he took each week one day at a time and was returning to his old self. He laughed each time he thought of Gaius and his Prince Charming remark.

However, he always kept an eye out for that special person who might be looking for someone. He believed in attraction at first sight…not love. If it was to be, love might come later. He was older and wiser if he was to meet someone, he'd be very careful before he'd agree to anything, as his mother would have said, 'Once bitten, twice shy.'

-0-0-

He must have fallen asleep as he woke refreshed, he looked around the bedroom at his great-uncle's that has been his for years. He felt that he had something special to look forward to. He had always enjoyed working in the clinic with the latest equipment. He knew and liked the staff. He got on well with the other vet and thought that probably a little time away from the university would do him good. He was on his second year of a three year contract. He really hadn't had a break as he did summer term as well as the regular terms.

He knew that he was always on his toes in case he bumped into Neil. The stress wasn't good, however he had been doing better in the last couple of months.

Although Gaius had never spelled it out, he knew that the practice would pass to him. It was a comforting thought that when Gaius came to retire, he would be there to take over and help run the place for him. It was well located and within easier distance of one of the better equine research facilities which had already shown interest in his work. He smiled to himself life was good.

-0-0-

Returning to Cambridge, Merlin one day called in at Queen's Vet School Hospital as he was monitoring one of the third year students doing make up courses. His marks were excellent but he had, due to illness missed the hours he should have spent in the university clinic. With the vet staff and the student's cooperation, he arranged a schedule for him to spent extra time there and complete the number of hours of compulsory practical work.

Before he left, he visited a friend who was working in the neonatal unit. He smiled seeing the incubators with their patients. Bob waved him over and uncovered a corner of the incubator. Nestled in a thick blue towel was a naked pink cub who when he was adult who be sporting a luxurious white fur coat. Merlin grinned at the baby polar bear.

Bob explained, "He's doing well. His sister died and mother didn't want anything to do with him. He's going to go back home soon, once he's eating better and stabilised. I don't agree with captive breeding but that's just my opinion. However, when we get a little one like this, I have no other interest but that it will survive."

"He's certainly thriving. Any name yet?"

"Nothing official but the techs refer to him as Iceman. He has a real fan base here. However, follow me and take a peek at this."

Following him, Merlin was soon laughing. In another incubator, hugging a plush teddy bear were two little capuchins. Their little faces so serious were turned toward him.

Bob reached in to pick one up. Upending it, he said, "A little girl called Bows." He held her up, "Bows, I would like you to meet my friend Merlin."

"Nice to meet you, Bows...and who is that handsome young man with you?"

"He's called Buttons and it will be the hardest thing not getting too attached to them. Not what I would have called them but the techs once again beat me to it." Merlin smiled as Bob unfurled the monkey's hand from around his finger and put her back with her brother.

"You're happy working here?"

"Yes, I love it, especially the patients and even in small doses," he laughed, "…the students. They keep us on our toes and some of them will make excellent vets. Are you joining us for dinner?"

"Yes, I'll meet you there just after seven." He waved to the vet techs as he left. He heard a chorus of 'Goodbye, Dr. Emrys!' He smiled knowing that he'd be quite happy working there but he also enjoyed the challenge of lecturing and counselling his own students.

-0-0-

He had his good days and his bad days but the time spent with Gaius had certainly been a change of scenery and he believed that his mind had benefitted from it. That little break had given him the distance from his memories that he needed to get through the remainder of this semester. He was due holidays and this year he intended to take them.

He knew that his mother would be quite happy to see him and he could spend a few weeks with her and then the two of them could return to Gaius's for her summer break. He decided that he would run by her the idea of a couple of days on the Continent. He knew she would like to visit Prague where she had spent time with his father before he was born. He'd suggested it on a few accessions but she had always said, that he shouldn't be spending his hard earned money on her.

Well, with the cheque he had recently received for the Throgmorton foaling, he was well able to get the flight as well as a couple of nights in a hotel. He wasn't poor he rented a small flat in Cambridge and he owned a car. Not the most glamorous of lives but he wasn't in debt anymore as his university debts were all paid off. He laughed to himself, "He was a man of substance!'


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2 : A LITTLE CLOAK AND DAGGER**

Arthur returned to London under a dark cloud. It wasn't that he particularly needed to stay at Throgmorton any longer. He had only one person on his mind and it was playing havoc with his emotions. He was happy to get back to his own condo but his life was made up of hours of staring into space, interspersed with periods of work. The work at least for a period of time stopped his head from interminably questioning his behaviour. He still couldn't understand why he had had such a strange reaction to a dinner guest.

Work was not unlike a balm for his troubled mind, he could distance himself from the continual self judgement and instead worry about someone else's problems. Staring into space was non-productive. It neither got him closer to understanding his attraction to Gaius's nephew nor a solution of how to meet Merlin again.

'Maybe upon their second, well technically third meeting…' he stopped himself, shaking his head as he thought, 'I'm counting the number of times we have met like a stupid teenager. Maybe it will turn out to be a one-off, a comparably short-lived instance of two people meeting like strangers on a train who are engrossed with one another for five hours, leave the carriage with a goodbye and never again wander into each others lives. Maybe if we met up again, I might find out that I had an interest in someone who subsequently was not as interesting or captivating as I had first felt.'

Not that all the soul searching proved anything other than he couldn't get the young man out of his mind. He was no company to himself or to others, as he refused invitations and didn't even go to the pub after work on Fridays. He had liquor at home if he needed to drink but it soon became apparent that that only intensified his feelings of self pity making him foolishly sentimental to the point of becoming tearful at his newly found position in life. He had never experienced the felling of loneliness though heavens knows he had been alone for years. He didn't crave company as in his present state he knew that he would be a downer at any social event.

He'd seen sad characters sitting in a group of people and he had usually classified them as being emotionally immature but that was how he felt at the moment. His condition had not gone unnoticed and his PA Laurence had mentioned it to Gawaine.

"What up with Arthur? You would think that he had the worries of the world on his shoulders. He hardly even gives me the time of day."

Gawaine had grinned at him, saying, "Give him time, he is trying to sort out his life. You might say that he's got his knickers in a twist." This made Laurence smile and Gawaine laughed to himself, he had no intention of sharing his take on the reasons for Arthur's behaviour.

-0-0-

Gawaine gave him space; knowing Arthur's inability to focus and seeming disinterest in anything social, prompted him to so some detective work. By accessing the University of Cambridge site he was able to narrow his search to professors of Veterinary Medicine when lo and behold, he found Merlin's name.

Gawaine laughed to himself, it has been years since he had spent time searching out backgrounds on someone he had met. He really couldn't help it as he liked the chap and if he was going to make Arthur happy, then what was a little time spent on his computer for a friend.

He lightened his conscience by reminding himself that he wasn't snooping and anyway it was pouring outside and he had nothing else to do. Arthur wasn't in the mood to go out and he was at a loose end as Leon and Lance had gone to a movie and Oliver wanted to stay in with his wife. He certainly didn't want to go by himself to prop up the bar in the pub so he decided to use his time gainfully.

No address or phone number was available as it was a publicly accessible site but there was a short bio which was quite interesting. Merlin was older than he looked and if Arthur should be interested in him, Gawaine was happy to see that his age was closer to Arthur's than his looks suggested.

Not one to be easily deterred, he remembered his cousin Amelia in her last but one year at Cambridge. He contacted her asking her if she went onto the university students' site could she find out more information about a certain professor. She laughed, saying, "Don't tell me you want to do graduate studies here or is it more of a personal thing?"

Gawaine explained that he had met one of the vet professors and he would like to get in touch.

"Well, she must be attractive, if Cousin Gawaine wants to contact her?" Amelia teased.

"Less out of you! Can you do it?" Gawaine said laughing.

"I'm on the bus now but when I get back to my place, I'll look her up, what's her name?"

"Actually it's a he not a she, a Dr. Emrys, first name Merlin."

"Gawaine, you haven't changed sides have you?"

"Does your mother know that you talk to your, if I might remind you, elder cousin like that?"

"My mother is very progressive and would love you either way. He must be really cute if you have fallen for him!"

"Amelia, I am at the moment seeing a very lovely lady called Tess." Gawaine knew that he wasn't telling the complete truth, but he would _like_ to be seeing Tess. "I met Dr. Emrys at a dinner one night at Arthur's and I would like to hook up with him again."

Amelia then lost interest in her cousin's love life and agreed to contact him later with the information.

-0-0-

Arthur's mind had been all over the place. He had certainly in his twenty-six years never experienced any of the feelings which were now occupying his every waking moment. Sure sex was one thing, but it was later followed by apathy, an emotional deadness. This was a more unquieting thing, an emotional interest in a stranger which to date, he had never experienced. He couldn't understand his predominant wanting to care for Merlin, look after him, get to know him better. How could he be so fascinated by someone he had met what, twice? The first time was hardly exceptional and he remembered having originally thought of the new vet as a git. He had remained annoyed about him, not appreciating that he had safely delivered the filly until he was later talking to his father.

Uther had asked if everything had gone well and Arthur had told him about the delivery and the vet being there. Uther had said, "Good thing too. I'd have hated to have lost the mare. So Gaius's boy did a good job then?"

Arthur had wanted to laugh, he would never have termed Merlin as boy…a young man, yes but never a boy. For an instance, he panicked thinking that he might be courting trouble, however Merlin had to be of age as he had graduated and was employed in his field of choice. Uther's referring to him as a boy was probably that he had know him as a youngster and to him he was obviously still a boy. He wondered how old Merlin was? He'd certainly fitted in well with Gawaine so he must have at least been in his early twenties.

After the initial questions that first night after supper, Gawaine had remained uncharacteristically quiet about Arthur's behaviour. Even thinking of that dinner sent shocks of embarrassment through Arthur. He felt himself blushing into the darkness. Merlin must have thought he was an idiot and rude to boot. His father had obviously not noticed the tension between his son and their guest but when he had caught Merlin's eye and he had blushed Arthur had almost felt a constriction around his heart.

What in heaven name had made him act that way? He felt a fool, a teenager in the pangs of first attraction. He was a grown man for goodness sakes. Yet he was harbouring something which he had never to the best of his knowledge felt before. If he had to be truthful it scared him. He was an adult set in his ways and then in one meeting, the rug had been pulled from under his feet and he felt that he was drowning in a sea of uncharted sensations.

He would, he decided try to sleep but he knew he would only doze fitfully and wake up hot and bothered not realising what had happened but knowing that it was related to a young vet from Cambridge.

Tomorrow, he would speak with Gawaine as he had been quite distant over the last ten days and he needed to apologise for turning down his many invitations for a drink or dinner.

Gawaine was the one with experience maybe he should run by him how he felt but it wasn't going to be the easiest conversation to have, confessing that he thought he might like a man.

But he couldn't be, could he? He had never been attracted to any other men. Maybe he was just one of those people on the fringe of society who would never have the courage to follow his feelings, never have a relationship truly based on love.

His mind played a trick on him, Merlin was there and Arthur relaxed sufficiently to fall asleep.

-0-0-

Following the ill-fated supper, Merlin and Gaius had returned to Gaius's.

"Is Arthur always like that or was that just a special treat for me? He said nothing to me and then became uncomfortable when I looked at him. Is he usually like that?"

"Sorry I didn't really notice. Come to think of it, he was quieter than usual but I didn't pay much notice."

"Funny really, as he was more normal when we first met in the barn, not overly friendly but just normal," Merlin said.

"Don't worry about him. If you ever meet him again, he'll probably be the old Arthur."

Gaius had laughed as Merlin had shrugged his shoulders saying, "Not that I know what the old Arthur is like. I'll put the dogs out, shall I? It'll stop Bouncer from waking me at dawn with a desperate look on his face. Then if you like, we can have a nightcap. Does hot chocolate suit you?"

"Sounds about right. I'll do a quick check on the surgical patients and be right back. Bouncer's getting on and he has to make a little toilet excursion, during the night. Like a few older men I know!" Gaius said and laughed.

Merlin said,"Come on, Gaius, you're not that old! Tilly's no trouble as she sleeps on my bed the night through even when I get up to put Bouncer out."

The dogs having heard the word 'out', were bouncing around Merlin. "All right, I'm coming! This is just going to be a short excursion, so no wandering off or you will be out until morning!" The dogs didn't take what he said to heart as they knew that Merlin would wait for them and see them safely back in the house before he turned in himself.

He came back with them and Gaius had already returned and put on the milk, seeing Merlin he said, "I'd like you to look at one of the older cats we have in at the moment. She's stumped us; inconclusive lab work has been done and she's a referral from another vet but for the life of me I can't figure out what her problem is. It's as if she is living in another universe. She shows no interest in anything, not even Ping the office guinea pig who usually causes a reaction in most cats."

"She must be sick as not even Tilly can ignore her and she get's that, Let me at her! Let me at her, look on her face and then when you let her close enough she just wants to give her a good sniff all over. Owners had her long?"

"Eight years, from what I know. I'd like to get her well as I hate returning animals with no suggestions as to what might make them better. If you'd give her a look tomorrow then I can get back to Neville and see about her owners taking her home. She's certainly stumped us."

They stood in the kitchen waiting for the milk to warm up and then took their mugs into the sitting room. Merlin curled up on the couch and was immediately joined by the little Border Terrier. She was actually his dog bought for him by Gaius several years ago. His set up in town was not conducive to having a dog so she lived with Bouncer the Pyrenees and Gaius.

They watched the news. Gaius glanced up and saw that Merlin was far away. He smiled to himself, he too had noticed Arthur's reaction to Merlin but he didn't intend to get involved, at least not at this stage.

For one thing, he was not sure that Uther had picked up on the intenseness between the two of them. If Merlin was interested in Arthur, Gaius would be happy. Arthur was a nice solid, intelligent man, very kind to animals and that boded well in any relationship as far as Gaius was concerned. He smiled to himself, for doing the proverbial counting one's chickens and all that.

Finally he said, "Well, I'm ready for bed! You stay up and watch whatever you want and I'll see you in the morning."

Merlin came back to earth with a start. He blushed as his thoughts had been not something you would share with your great-uncle.

He didn't fall asleep immediately but had lain looking at the moonlight and the patterns made by the trees on his ceiling. What was it about Arthur? He confessed that he would have liked to have talked to him but he seemed so taciturn and uninterested in what Gawaine and he were talking about. He had never offered to join in and when Gawaine had pointedly asked him questions, he had responded briefly signifying reluctance to engage further. He was monosyllabic.

Merlin had seldom met anyone like that and then he corrected himself as first year students sometimes showed that tendency when they were poorly prepared for a tutorial He laughed, he doubted that Arthur would have ever been in that position. Still his lack of interaction had been distracting.

The days spent with Gaius had been a godsend. He was pleased with his time in Millsill. Gaius and he had returned to Throgmorton to check on the ponies. Uther's filly was doing well and before he left another mare had produced a colt so the foals would have company as they grew up.

He'd said goodbye to Tilly telling her he'd be back in a couple of months. He was actually looking forward to having his whole family there when his mother joined them.

As his taxi left the drive, he turned and waved at Gaius standing on the steps with the two dogs. He hoped that at his great-uncle's age, he would be as happy having a county practice.

The trains were on time and soon he was on Station Rd making his way to his flat. He let himself in and opened the windows. He threw his bag on the bed and sat at his computer. He reviewed his schedule for the following day, grabbed a beer and sat in front of the TV.

Now that he was alone, his mind went back to Arthur, Mr. Arthur Pendragon. He stretched over to get his computer and typed in his name.

Well, for one thing, Arthur Pendragon was no slouch. He was well educated, Eton and LSC then a year at Oxford before going into the family business. He was the sole heir and stood to inherit a sizeable fortune. He lived at One Tower Bridge and was interested in both Arsenal and Chelsea, F1 and travelling, reference was made to family homes in Switzerland and California.

In most of the newspaper photos, Merlin noticed that he had blondes on his arm who were giving him adoring glances. He looked very sure of himself in their company. A few photos of him with men and he recognised Gawaine in a couple of group photos.

He suddenly realised that his mind had taken off by itself, he pulled himself back to the present feeling slightly guilty of cyber stalking. Seeing all the photos of Arthur was getting him uptight.

He bookmarked the site and turned off the computer. It was after midnight and he slipped off his clothes throwing himself on the bed, knowing that he wasn't going to fall sleep

He woke to his alarm, well rested. He also remembered being with someone who left him feeling loved and cared for. He shook his head, no more looking at Arthur's life before bedtime.

He got ready; as he had forgotten to pick up milk he ate a little dry cereal, before leaving the flat to get the bus to the university. He smiled to himself as this afternoon his friend would return his car and he'd have his wheels back. He hadn't wanted to leave the car outside his flat as some questionable people thought it was fun to vandalise what they considered abandoned vehicles.

Merlin had lunch in the dining hall at the vet college, comfortable to be back in his own environment. He got up to return his tray and saw the back of a blond going out the door, the same strong shoulders, height and stature. The man stopped and turned looking at him quizzically as he saw the disappointment on Merlin's face.

Flustered, he dropped his head, returned his tray and made his way to his office. He told himself to grow up, he was an adult not a kid. However, he had at least one pleasant thing to look forward to, his summer holidays with Gaius. Immediately, his mind unbidden jumped to the future supper invitation at Throgmorton.

-0-0-

Gawaine had been busy, as he arranged for a group of them to get together on Friday. He had included Leon and Lance. Both had girlfriends and that meant that they would leave shortly after eating to go home.

He was having coffee with Arthur one afternoon and he said, "You haven't been out with the group for some time. The guys want to get together for drinks and a meal. How about this weekend?"

Arthur had seemed noncommittal but the longer Gawaine had spoken the more he seemed to come around to the idea, finally relenting and agreeing to the invitation. He figured that maybe his life would return to a more even keel if he met up with his old friends. "Can't promise I will be the greatest company but I'll make the effort. Nevertheless, I don't want to stay out till all hours."

"Can't ask for anything more," Gawaine said with a laugh. "You can even choose where we go!"

Arthur told him what he thought of that idea saying, "Some invite out! Now you want me to make decisions as well. It wasn't my idea, you choose."

"Friday it is then, I'll arrange with the others. How about we meet at The Naked Knight, around six? Food's good there and it is close to work."

Arthur nodded not realising that even if he had agreed to choose and had then mentioned some bizarre pub in say Birmingham, Gawaine would have willingly gone along with the idea.

Anything to get Arthur back into the mainstream again.

-0-0-

Tuesday, Merlin had finished his afternoon tutorials and returned to his office to check his missed calls. He had received one that had surprised him. A message left on his university number.

"Hello, , I mean Merlin, this is Gawaine. I was at the Pendragon's when your uncle and you came for supper and…I was wondering if you ever come into London? Sorry I missed you...I'll phone you later this week. Thanks!"

Merlin replayed the message. Gawaine? Well...that was interesting. He wondered what he could possibly want? His mind however, didn't stay on Gawaine for any length of time as it immediately jumped to Arthur.

True to his word, by Wednesday, Gawaine had again called but as often happened to busy people, Merlin and he were playing telephone-tag as he wasn't there to take the call. This time however, Gawaine had left a number where he could be reached and Merlin made a note of it, intending to phone him later that evening.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 : THE POSSIBILITY OF A FUTURE**

Merlin had shopped before going home. He'd promised his mother that he would eat healthfully and as he liked cooking even if it were only for one, he needed to keep food on hand. Remembering that he planned to get back to Gawaine, he prepared a salad adding some slices of boiled eggs and the remainder of the salmon he had cooked on Monday.

He grabbed a cider and sat down to eat as he watched the early news. He liked to keep abreast of news local and international. He found time passed faster at work if he were able to join in the conversations in the faculty room. So, he had become quite an expert on the increase in North Sea fishing stocks and such varied things as governmental procedures on licensing of all pets and lack of musical instruction in schools. He also kept an eye on football and the financial markets.

News over, he took his dishes to the kitchen before returning to his sitting room. His flat was old but it did have two small bedrooms one of which served as an office/guest room, if he had to fault it, it would be that it was boxlike, every room having four walls and a door. He had always promised himself that one day his place would be open concept, airy with large windows. He probably wouldn't be able to afford more square footage but without walls it would have felt much bigger.

He'd heard that the house owner had approached the municipality to convert the three flat income property to multi unit properties. That would mean his moving as he could not afford to purchase anything nor did he want to tie himself down. Gaius had told him to stay put and only make a decision once the conversion was passed. Anyway, he might be able to rent from the new owner of his flat.

He turned down the TV and grabbed his phone. He was interested in hearing what Gawaine wanted. He had enjoyed his company at Throgmorton and he was after all a link to Arthur.

Gawaine answer on the third ring, "Hello...Merlin?"

"Yes, hope that I'm not disturbing you if you would prefer I can call back at a more convenient time." He was used to dealing with people who were at that moment unable to talk because of students or even animals in crisis.

"No, it's fine, I just got off the phone with my mother. I think she rings periodically to check that I am still coping all by myself."

Merlin laughed, "You mother and mine must have the same set of values. I'm sure that mine is shocked that I have managed by myself for so long."

Laughing Gawaine agreed and then said, "Do you ever come down to London?"

"Yes, I have an old school friend with an extra room which I often occupy when I'm in town. Why?"

Gawaine paused, scrunching up his eyes and crossed his fingers before saying, "A few of my friends are going out for a drink and a meal on Friday, nothing fancy but I was wondering that if you were in town, you might like to join us."

Merlin wasn't planning to go down until Saturday but he found himself changing his plans in mid thought as he said, "Yes, I'm coming down Friday afternoon so I'd be free for supper."

"Great! It will only be a couple of people from where I work with and my friend Arthur…" He waited hoping that Merlin wouldn't decline the offer as Arthur had certainly not been overly friendly the last time he had met.

There was a momentary pause and then Merlin had replied, "I'd like that. Where will I meet you?"

"We're going to a pub called The Naked Knight, around twenty-five steps south from the Heron Quays DLR. It's our after work local, it serves good meals and has a regular clientele from The Wharf. You could also take the 277 bus. Do you know London?"

"Well enough to get around and I'm not shy asking for directions. People figure you're a tourist and are usually quite happy to help, however let me jot that down," Gawaine heard him repeat, "The Naked Knight, either Heron's Quay, twenty-five steps south or bus number 277. What time?"

"Say just before six, if you get there earlier, have a drink. We'll be along as soon we can, no one wants to hang around the office after work on a Friday!"

"Thanks for the invite, Gawaine, I'll see you on Friday. I won't be in the way, will I?"

"No, you won't…you'll be able to see how the chaps from high finance unwind after a hard week's work." Merlin laughed and Gawaine continued, "Looking forward to seeing you again. Bye!"

Gawaine hung up and thought to himself, 'Now, Arthur, it'll will be up to you!' He didn't intend to tell Arthur until Friday that someone else might be joining them and he had not as yet decided if he would tell him whom it was. Maybe, surprise was the best method.

Merlin sat down in a state of shock, out of the blue he had been invited to a pub on Friday by someone whom he had only met once…someone whom he had met twice would be there…and he had accepted. He had not expected to see Arthur until the summer.

Did Arthur know that Gawaine had invited him to join them on Friday? Hopefully he would be all right with that as otherwise it might be quite uncomfortable. He must be stupid, he was already feeling nervous about seeing Arthur again. He took a deep breath and stood up. He couldn't stay in the confines of the flat so to clear his mind, he decided to walk to the corner store to buy himself a Crunchie.

He finally did his dishes, still thinking about how this morning he had never thought that he would be going out in London on Friday. Obviously, both Arthur and Gawaine worked at Canary Wharf.

The kitchen was now tidy. He turned out the lights and made his way to his office. He sat at the desk messing on his computer and accomplishing nothing more than notifying Adam that he'd becoming on Friday instead of Saturday but that he wouldn't be eating with them on Friday, as he'd been invited out.

He was miles away when his phone buzzed, it was Adam. "Merlin, you'll have the place to yourself over the weekend as we're going to Tim's parents for their anniversary, leaving early Saturday, returning late Sunday."

Merlin said, "At least, we'll be able to chat for a little while."

"How have you been?"

"Really well, trying to keep busy and get out with friends."

Merlin could imagine Adam nodding as he replied, "You're over the most difficult part and soon the events will only be a blurred memory."

"Thanks, Adam, you've, been a great help over the last year as well as a good friend."

"Merlin, who wouldn't be friendly with you when your mother is such a wonderful cook? Honestly, she saved our lives in school with her frequent food parcels. Better go now as Tim will be in soon and he'll be tired and hungry as he's been in surgery since noon."

Merlin asked him to mention to Tim that Victoria would be in good hands if they decided not to take her away with them. Victoria was a black and tan King Charles Spaniel with a domed head, upturned nose and flat face. If Merlin had not already had his dog Tilly, he would have happily given her a home but Adam had offered and her elderly owner had accepted. Mrs. Woodward had also explained that in keeping with the breed history, she had named her Victoria after the Queen who had also owned Charlies.

Merlin remembered the sessions he had had with Adam and Victoria was always present often curled up on his lap as he tried to sort out his emotions following the Neil situation. He felt safe discussing the problem with Adam who was a trusted friend as well as a psychotherapist specialising in counselling victims of abuse. Victoria was a very patient dog and had tolerated not only his tears but the possessive way in which he had clung to her when things got really tough during their sessions.

Suddenly his spirits crashed as he realised that neither Gawaine nor Arthur knew of his past history. Deep down there was also the knowledge that he still felt partly to blame. He felt guilty knowing that if he had been strong enough to walk out after the first punch, he might have saved himself much pain both physical and mental. However, he had not and he had allowed Neil to rule every minute of his life. He would promise him it had been a one-off never to happen again, that he really loved him before once more using him as a punching bag and violating him in every imaginable manner.

Until one day, he had crawled out of their flat and been taken to the hospital by his neighbour. "You should have told me sooner," the older man had gently said as he wrapped a blanket around him and putting his arm around him had sat beside him on the floor of the hallway waiting for the paramedics.

Merlin had turned his bruised and tear stained face to him and said, "I couldn't…"

Merlin shook his head and took at deep breath. He was _not_ responsible for Neil's attacks. Adam knew that, the police knew that, Gaius knew that and slowly over the months he had come to realise it himself that he was not responsible…he had never asked to be abused, injured and humiliated. Nonetheless, when he was feeling down that little thought would be magnified one hundred fold and he would again experience the point of no return and think, 'If only I had walked out after that first punch.'

He walked into his bedroom and pulling back the sheets, slipped off his shoes to crawl into the bed fully clothed. His clothes were a protective shield and he fell into a troubled sleep.

-0-0-

 _The boy feels on top of the world, he is special, a man has chosen him from all the other grad students to show him his love. Slowly, carefully they build up a friendship and spend more and more time together until one day the man asks the boy to stay over. It is wonderful to be the recipient of such attention and love._

 _The boy attributes to jealousy the warnings his friends give him. He knows the man better than they do. He is kind, certainly generous with his money and he rejoices in his company. The clothes, the weekends in Paris and the holiday in Florida are proof that he truly loves him, aren't they?_

 _It isn't until one night when the boy hesitates to do something that repulses him that the man changes. He rears above him then asks, "Do you think you have the right to refuse me after all the money I spent on you?" That sentence alone surprises the boy but it is the punch in the gut which follows that really shocks him._

 _More presents and apologies follow but one day when the boy wants to return to the library to study, the heart of the monster once again occupies the man's body. As he walks out the door, the man slams the heavy metal door on his arm. The boy hears the snap as his lower arm breaks. He drops to his knees in shock and is quickly hauled back into the flat as the man stands over him saying, "I said no…!" Then his voice changes and he says sweetly with the hint of a threat, "Merlin, whenever are you going to learn that I am not fooling?"_

 _The A &E staff is impressed with the loving care and worry the older man has for his obvious boyfriend. They are at fault as they never separate the two and question them independently but they are very busy and on the scale of things a broken arm is low on priority considering the many life threatening injuries they are also dealing with._

 _As the older man impatiently hurries the young lad into the lift, one young intern does say to the boy, "Are you all right, mate?"_

 _The boy first glances at the older man and then looks down as he murmurs, "Yes…!"_

 _The intern can't get the young man out of his mind, the more he thinks about it the more he believes it is a case of abuse. Later that night, the young doctor tells his wife about the boy with the broken arm._

 _The boy knows that he is growing smaller. He can't reach the counter to get his phone, he is at the mercy of this hulking man who owns the flat and treats him like a child and a naughty one at that. The holidays come and go and boy-child seldom sees the outside of the building._

 _Promises are made and subsequently broken. He begins to doubt himself, maybe this is the way all men treat the ones whom they profess to love. He wants to go home to his mother. He can't leave as he is too frightened. He sees a policeman; he follows him almost dragging on his coat sleeve so he will notice him but when the man in blue turns around he is the_ _man._

 _One day, the doorbell rings and the boy thinking that the man can't find his keys opens the door. Standing there is a dark-haired man in a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck and a small red dog at his side. He says, 'I am here to take you home!'_

 _He looks into the man's blue eyes as the dog moves towards him wagging its tail, happy to see him. Trust and relief flood the boy's body; he knows the dog and also the man, but as the man raises his arm, the boy stands like a statue ready to be hit, he has learned well._

 _However, the blow never arrives and he opens his eyes and the man is still there with a smile on his face and an outstretched arm beckoning him to follow him. The dog takes a step towards the man and waits for the boy to follow him, he returns nudging his legs and the boy takes that first step of many toward freedom…_

Merlin awoke crying. He knew that he was the little boy and indirectly also the person who had saved him. He'd had lots of support especially from Adam and Gaius. His friends had not shunned him and when he was ready he had returned to lectures and caught up on what he had missed. He smiled; he had survived. He was better. The shadows had pulled back into the corners and he could see the sunshine.

He stretched; he was ready not only to start a new day but possibly a new part of his life. He pulled the sheet over his head and said quietly, "Thank you, God!"

-0-0-

Arthur was having a rotten morning, for one thing it was pelting with rain and his view of the Thames was obscured. His father was demanding more than his pound of flesh and he was feeling sorry for himself. The coffee Laurence had brought him from the staff lounge was bitter and one of his clients were being difficult, tying him up on the phone for nearly two hours. He was fed up. All in all, he was having one extremely bad day!

He scowled as he handed Laurence a nondescript flask and sent him off to Costa to get two coffees, telling him that his father was busy with a client and he didn't have to use the back lifts.

He decided that he should invest in one of the under £80 Tassimo machines for his PA's office and buy only the Costa Discs. He could then have the coffee he liked whenever he wanted. That thought made him feel much better and by the time Laurence returned with the coffee he was his old self again, thinking much more clearly.

He took his coffee and said, "We've a coffee machine in the staff lounge, haven't we? Do you know what make is it?"

Laurence said, "I'll go and check." He returned in no time saying, "A Tassimo Boch T65…"

Arthur nodded and jotted it down as once again he was on the phone. After two more phone calls, Giselle Uther's secretary phoned to say that his father who was finishing early, was leaving Arthur in charge and he'd see him Friday bright and early.

Arthur checked his watch it was just after three, deciding he was due a lunch break, he buzzed Laurence, telling him to grab his coat as they were going shopping. Arthur set out on his quest to find Costa discs. "…and you will keep them in a safe place in your office." He paused and continued, "…and on very special days, you will even be able to join me in having a mid-morning coffee," he'd added with a smile.

Laurence smiled, he knew why Gawaine liked Arthur as although he could at times be moody, he had a sense of humour and this time round after nearly ten days of being in the doldrums he'd finally come out of it and was his old self. He thought, 'Just shows you what a good cup of coffee can do.'

Arthur was in his element. A local grocery chain in Canada Place had all sorts of Costa coffee discs. So, he purchased enough discs to last a fortnight and then figuring that the two of them would be drinking it, he added another packet, then he saw Chai Latte discs and figured that might be a good idea as well.

"You know we can get them cheaper if we order them online," Laurence stated.

"Great, so tomorrow morning you will place an order at the best price and we'll always enjoy our mid-morning coffee."

"Even if we often don't get it till closer to noon?"

"True but remember a good cup of coffee is perfect at any time of day!"

Laurence laughed saying, "If you ever decide a change of profession is needed, you could go into advertising and ad slogans."

On their way back to the office with Arthur's purchases, he had to stop at Costa's because he was hungry. They retuned to the office with two paninis, one Goats Cheese and Chilli Chutney and the other Smoked Ham and Mushroom and the agreement that they would eat in the staff lounge and make some coffee.

Laurence figuring that the novelty would soon wear off but it didn't and Giselle was often delivered a steaming hot chai latte with the express instruction that she never acknowledged to Uther that it was from their client's competitor.

Arthur had no sooner returned to his office than he had a personal call from Gawaine. He was able to tell him all about the coffee discs. Gawaine was uptight about Friday's drinks and supper but he feigned interest before adding, "You haven't forgotten about tomorrow after work have you?"

"No! Who's going to be there?"

"Just Leon and Lance…" then feeling slightly adventurous he took the bit between his teeth and added with a laugh, "…and any handsome stranger I meet on the way over."

Arthur laughed adding, "As long as it's not someone from accounting. Boring lot as far as I am concerned. Necessary in our business but I still find them socially boring."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Gawaine with a laugh, "Not to pick up anyone from accounting!"

He put his phone away and smiled at his reflection in the window and decided, at least one Professor of Veterinary Medicine from Cambridge would not be overly involved with DR/CR/ BAL in his social life.

He still had time to tell Arthur that he had invited Merlin but the more he thought about it, he decided that a surprise encounter could be exactly what Arthur needed.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4 : GUESS WHO'S COMING FOR DINNER?**

Arthur was glad that it was the end of the week. He was determined to vegetate over the weekend.

His father greeted him Friday morning with raised eyebrows. Sure he had said that he was going to be in bright and early but for Arthur nine was early enough. 'You've missed half the day!' the raised eyebrows accused him.

Even that couldn't shake Arthur's happy mood, he'd taken home a coffee disc and it had fitted in his machine. Coffee before he left his place, not only any coffee but the kind he liked! He decided that life was decidedly looking better!

Friday was casual unless he had specific meetings. He always kept a suit and dress shirt in his office wardrobe in case something came up and he was expected to play the part of an executive of PenD. His office had an ensuite with a shower. He often joked that in a pinch he could rent the room out overnight.

He felt that casual Friday which many of the staff appreciated, was a lead in to a weekend. It was less apparent on the executive floors but in IT and accounting departments, the staff was reminded that inappropriate clothing would not be acceptable.

His father wandered into his office and he stood looking out Arthur's window. "I believe your view is better than mine."

Arthur smiled, his father's suite of offices far surpassed his meagre set up but his view was superior and he enjoyed it, knowing with his binoculars he could pick out his condo building. His father would consider that unprofessional but to him on cold winter afternoons, it was comforting.

Finally, his father went to leave mentioning to him that he was spending the weekend in Throgmorton. "I want to check on the youngsters, if you're free you might come down." Uther continued speaking but Arthur's mind was thrown back to his last meeting with Merlin and his uncle. He was lost in thought when Uther's, "So, you'll look into that for me?'" brought him back to the present.

"Sorry, could you repeat that?"

Uther looked at him and sighed but repeated what he wanted adding, "By the way, good job with Seiling. He spoke to me this morning and mentioned how satisfied he was with yesterday's phone conversations. Keep up the good work!"

Once alone, Arthur sat at his desk, lost in thought his mind fully occupied with Merlin. He relived the birth of the foal and was again affected by the presence of young vet. What had made his behaviour so untypical at supper that night? He knew he was attracted to the man but didn't know what to do about it...if anything.

Laurence looked in and since his boss seemed to be busy with the papers in front of him, told Gawaine that Arthur seemed in good spirits but was working.

Arthur put his elbows on his desk, clasped his hands and rested his chin on them. How do you go about asking another man out? He'd never be able to do it. It would have been so easy to have said following the meal at Throgmorton, 'Coffee this week...?' but he had been hardly able speak, let alone make a coherent sentence.

Lord knows, he regretted his behaviour but even now he couldn't explain why he had been afraid to acknowledge Merlin, so stupid to ignore the one person who had fascinated him. He doubted he would have a chance to rectify that stupidly.

The one thing which kept his hope's alive was that maybe during Merlin's summer visit, some opportunity for him to apologise might come up!

However, he needed to get his life organised. Whenever he tried to consider the situation, his mind spiralled down and nothing was achieved. He then lost any shred of confidence that he had. He shook his head deciding that he needed a life coach. Someone who could lead him through all the intrinsic steps of approaching a stranger and possibly courting. He'd never had any trouble before, he'd just smile and people would react. He never needed to pick up a girl, they just seemed to materialise at his elbow and he had gone along quite willingly.

However, things had changed. He cringed; he'd made a stupid mistake as he knew there would never be another chance for Merlin's first impression of him.

For years, his father had maintained that when people first met, during those few minutes they are judged, resulting in a positive or negative initial reaction. He'd say, 'Remember, Arthur, you never have a second chance to make a first impression. Approach everyone with an open minded attitude and look for the positive traits in the person as you meet them.'

How had he come across that very first time? He'd challenged the vet in the stable and then said nothing else. True, he'd noticed the man's good looks but the way he had put Arthur in his place had put his back up and nullified any positive feelings, even though his attention to the task at hand had been admirable

At supper later during the week, he had had trouble concentrating as all he really wanted to do was look at Merlin. How had he not been blown away the first time? The more Merlin conversed with Gawaine and his father, the more his feelings for him were heightened. No sane thoughts went through his mind, it was visceral not overly intellectual and as far as he remembered the first time a person had caused such a reaction in him. He remembered how Merlin had looked at him before he had blushed.

Dropping his head in his hands, he said quietly to the empty room, "Little chance that that opportunity would ever present itself again..."

-0-0-

Merlin was in time to have a chat and coffee with Adam before having to leave for Canary Wharf. He'd grinned as Adam had said, "Well, if all my patients looked as confident as you do, I'd be happy. You're a sight for sore eyes!"

Smiling, Merlin had said, "Until I let my guard down and try to get back into dating."

"Don't be negative, with all the people who are in the world, there is someone for you. The problem is meeting them and the longer you worry about a repeat of your previous history, it is as if you are closing the doors and windows to every opportunity. Just be yourself, Tim made me laugh as he told me only yesterday that if he hadn't been already involved with someone, supposedly me, he might have been interested in you..."

Merlin blushed, "He actually said that?"

"Yes," said Adam not in the least perturbed, "...and I understand him completely. You have a lot to offer, you are very intelligent and I think you are sometimes oblivious to the looks you receive. I've seen girls practically swooning over you and men giving you a second glance without even knowing you.

"Just promise me one thing, the next time you meet someone who interests you, give him a chance. If necessity, you can bring him here and Tim and I'll give him the once over before I give you my blessing to date him."

"I doubt that that will be necessary but thanks all the same," Merlin said, realising that he had a good friend watching out for him.

"Where are you going tonight?"

"Out for drinks and dinner with someone I met when Gaius and I went to supper in Millsill…two people actually."

"Please tell me they are not involved with each other!"

"No, from what I can make out they are old school mates and both work in finance. Seems a group of them are going out for drinks and supper and I've been invited."

Adam smiled to himself, being invited out in London by someone he had previously met, sounded interesting and even of more interest was the fact that Merlin had decided to accept the invitation. "Well, enjoy yourself and relax, you're not going to face an executioner. Keep an open mind, enjoy yourself, be good and don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Merlin laughed, as reached for his coat putting his mug on the counter. Adam reached over to him and put a key down in front of him. "You have a key, so we won't wait up for you!"

"Are you sure? I don't think I'll be that late!"

"We won't worry but let's say that if you don't appear by noon tomorrow, we'll send out a search party."

Merlin looked shocked, "Adam, I wouldn't do that! You know, I'm not like that…"

"I know but I just wanted to get a rise out of you. On your way then and enjoy yourself…!

Adam smiled, of all his friends, he had nothing but respect for the way in which Merlin had rebounded from being an innocent victim into a confident individual. He'd been halfheartedly fooling about checking up on any future friend of his and then he realised he wasn't fooling. He'd fight tooth and nail to guarantee that Merlin was well treated.

-0-0-

The trip by tube and DLR was busy but effortless. He had opted for the DLR as he wanted to see the sights. He was impressed. He'd seen photos and news clips of One Canada Place with its 50 storeys but to see the second highest building in London surpassed only by The Shard, up this close, was exciting.

On the train down to London, he had looked up information about Canary Wharf and found out the developers and owners from 1988-1992 were the Reichmann's Paul, Albert and Ralph of Toronto, Canada the owners of Olympia and York Developments, hence the final name choice to replace Docklands Square. In 1995, the name of the joint ownership was changed to Canary Wharf Group.

He learned that the wharf itself was named after the Mediterranean and Canary Islands fruit trade especially the banana trade and not after the bird as he had first imagined. He wandered around captivated by the buildings and shopping outlets.

At one point he had thought that going to the observation deck of One Canada Place might be interesting but he was surprised to learn that all the floors had tenants and there was no observation deck. There was however a restaurant on the ground floor.

Merlin checked his watch, it was time to make his way back to the pub. He'd checked its location before beginning to explore.

He was feeling slightly nervous. On one hand he was excited about seeing Arthur again but on the other, he was worried that Arthur might take one look at him and say, "What's he doing here?"

He began to second guess himself. Maybe he shouldn't have come, maybe Gawaine's plan was misguided. After all, Gaius, his mother and he were invited to Throgmorton during the summer, maybe he should have waited. He wasn't even certain that Arthur was gay, it had just been an intuitive flash when they had met for the second time.

The first time he had seen him, his mind was completely taken up with the job at hand, apart from acknowledging that someone was in the way, he hadn't really given him the time of day.

Within the next ten minutes, they were going to meet again. At least Gawaine would be there. He had liked him when they had first met so if Arthur pulled his silent act again, or even stormed out, he'd have a drink with Gawaine before bowing out of the supper invitation.

He took one more look around and turned to walk back to the pub.

-0-0-

Gawaine had phoned Arthur to say, "We'll go down together. Meet me on the seventeenth. Lance and Leon will meet us there as they were getting off early and wanted to get a table for five."

"Five?"

Gawaine could have kicked himself so he covered by saying, "Yes another chap is joining us. If he doesn't fit in, I'll chase him off before we eat. Can't begrudge him our company for a few drinks now, can we?"

Arthur grunted impartially, he'd put in a long day and he really just wanted to leave work but the thought of a couple of drinks and supper appealed to him as then he wouldn't have to cook when he got home. He said, "Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be down."

True to his word, Gawaine had only been waiting a few minutes when Arthur appeared. He looked great with his jacket flung over his shoulders, Gawaine could tell that his father was no longer in the building.

They rode down the remaining floors discussing the weekend football schedules. Gawaine having studied at an impressionable age at St. Edward's College in Liverpool was still an avid fan of The Reds. Much to Arthur's disgust who was Arsenal through and through. Gawaine realised that there was nothing better in this world than when Liverpool played and won against Arsenal much to Arthur's chagrin.

They made their way across to the pub.

Merlin came around the side of the building and recognised Gawaine walking with Arthur. He went to wave and then had second thoughts, his eyes were drawn to Arthur and he felt positively weak. He knew that if had tried to say something it would have unintelligible. He stood back against a building and waited for them to disappear into the pub.

For a second, his history with Neil tried to force its way into his mind, but he breathed deeply applying some of Adam's tricks to ground himself. Arthur was not Neil! He, Merlin was in control of his actions and capable of making his own choices. Then why did he feel as his mother would have said, 'Discombobulated?'

He reminded himself that he was there as Gawaine's guest, Arthur just happened to be going too… He shook his head who was he kidding, the only reason he was standing on Canary Wharf was because Gawaine had said that Arthur would be present. He took a couple more deep breaths and decided to give the others time to get their drinks before he walked in.

He forced his feet to cross the narrow road and put his hand on the door, taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the worst, he opened the door and walked into the pub.

Arthur was sitting facing the fireplace with Gawaine opposite him. Two other shapes were at the table and there was an empty space beside Gawaine. He headed toward the table and Gawaine stood up and strode over hand outstretched.

"Welcome to Canary Wharf! Did you have any trouble getting here?"

Merlin was tongue-tied and Gawaine just hoped he wouldn't hightail it out of there. Arthur was in a good mood, which would hopefully last once he saw who the unnamed guest was.

They walked to the bar and Merlin could see that Arthur was deep in conversation with a slightly older man with curly hair.

"What are you having?" Gawaine asked.

"Guinness, if they have it!" Merlin said with a cheeky smile.

Gawaine turned to the barman and said, "Two Guinness, please." Before turning to Merlin saying, "You're a man after my own heart!" He raised his glass to Merlin's and they both had sips before Gawaine walked him back to the table.

The two other men looked up as Gawaine approached and Arthur turned and all Merlin's worries disappeared as once Arthur had realised who he was, he gave him wonderful smile and jumped up to shake his hand and gave him a manly hug which belied slightly more as he left his arm on his shoulder a fraction longer than necessary.

"What are you doing here?"

Gawaine interrupted, "He's the fifth person joining us to night. He turned to Merlin and said, with a grin, "You know Arthur but this is Leon and that is Lance they work at The Wharf as well. Both men nodded pleasantly and Leon stole a look at Arthur who had yet to look anywhere else than at Merlin.

"Gawaine mentioned that the next time I was in London he'd like to meet for supper and drinks. So, here I am!"

Gawaine, you old dog, why didn't you tell me? I figured it was someone you'd met in your travels and probably a Reds fan!"

Arthur looked at Merlin, he hadn't changed. He was as adorable as ever and he was sitting across from him, Gawaine having moved his seat to beside Arthur.

Merlin looked up shyly and smiled. This Arthur was more like the man his uncle Gaius had described, confident, friendly and very welcoming. Arthur said to him, "I'm glad you accepted Gawaine's invite as I don't thing that I was at my best the last time I met you."

Gawaine was going to confirm that but Merlin had quite capably said, "I think that we might have got off on the wrong foot at the stable. I hope I didn't seem rude at your father's that night."

No, I was the rude one…I don't know what happened. Maybe we should start over again at the beginning."

Merlin grinned and holding out his hand to Gawaine's amusement said, "My name is Dr. Merlin Emrys and I am here to help this pony foal. Could you please step out of the loose box as you might be in the way?"

Arthur got right in to the game playing, "I'm Arthur Pendragon son of the owner of this fine highland pony and I am very pleased that in your busy schedule, you were able to devote part of your day to helping her. Welcome to Throgmorton!" He then laughed.

Gawaine was also laughing as he brought Leon and Lance up to date on Merlin being a vet and Lecturer at the U. of Cambridge Vet College, whose great-uncle Gaius was Mr. Pendragon's usual vet but that he had been away and Merlin had been filling in. Smiling in Arthur's direction, he continued, "Arthur was being his usual obnoxious bossy self and took Merlin to task." He paused smiled and then continued, "However, he did treat him slightly better when Uther invited Gaius and Merlin to supper later in the week."

Arthur felt mortified, if they had only known how rude he had been to Merlin during the supper, ignoring him completely yet taking every opportunity to watch his every movement. He knew he needed to apologise profusely but here was neither the time nor the place. He intended to apologise as he didn't want Merlin to think that he was a poorly brought up, boorish thug.

He felt however that Merlin had seen through his bad behaviour as otherwise he wouldn't be sitting right in front of him. He felt that the pub was rather hot and he couldn't think of anything sensible to say as his mind was overloaded with visuals as he once again smiled at the man opposite him.

Merlin knew that he was going to blush and no matter how hard he tried not to, he felt the telltale warmth spread up his cheeks, Arthur smiled at him again and said, "Merlin, it's really good to see you again."

Lance kicked Leon under the table and Gawaine smiled at the two of them as if saying, "Who's the clever boy, eh?"

Slowly the conversation turned to more common topics and by the time the third round of drinks had been paid for, the five of them felt quite comfortable together. Gawaine went to the bar and ordered what they had decided upon for supper.

In no time the meal was finished and Leon and Lance were taking their leaves. Lance said, "Nice to meet you, Merlin. Hopefully we will be seeing more of you."

Gawaine glanced at Arthur and saw a smile on his face as he nodded wholeheartedly.

Leon commented on the good company adding that they should do it again in the near future, then he and Lance left.

Gawaine sighed contentedly, his plan had worked. He knew that Arthur was smitten and that he needed the chance to meet Merlin again in a different milieu and thankfully it has happened. "Hope you're not cross, that I kept Merlin's joining us a secret?"

"No, Gawaine, I think you outdid yourself this time. Merlin, how long are you in town?"

"Just until Sunday afternoon as I have to get back to Cambridge."

Gawaine chose that moment to got to the bog allowing Arthur and Merlin some time alone. "Might I see you tomorrow?" Arthur asked.

Merlin said, "I'd like that! How about playing tourists?"

"Great, you make a list of what you would like to see and I will be your tour guide."

"Arthur, I have been in London lots of times before but I wouldn't mind seeing the poppies at The Tower and returning to Greenwich. I'm a bit of a shutter bug, hope that doesn't turn you off. Anything and everything is of interest when it's in the right light."

Arthur smiled and Merlin thought, '…and your sitting there with the firelight reflecting off your features would make some interesting shots.' However, he said nothing as he knew that some people were very uncomfortable having their pictures taken and he honestly hoped that Arthur didn't fall into that category.

By the time Gawaine returned, they were deep into the London theatre scene. He heard Arthur say, " We should see what's on at the Sam Wanamaker Theatre at the Globe."

Merlin had replied, "Heard about it, candlelit productions…but no photography is permitted. I've never been inside. Maybe one weekend we could do that." He'd looked up and seeing Gawaine coming across the room said to be on the safe side, " Maybe, Gawaine would like to come as well."

A slight twinge of jealousy coursed through Arthur and then he smiled, after all Gawaine's interests were firmly in Tess, so he said, "Maybe we could make it a foursome." He turned to Merlin saying quietly, "Gawaine's found the love of his life and is in the process of convincing her that she feels the same. Right, Gawaine?"

Gawaine looked at the two of them and smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5 : A SECOND CHANCE AT A FIRST IMPRESSION**

As Gawaine had returned to the table, he had stopped midway to watch the two of them. They had not moved from their seats, they were talking intermittently and Arthur had that look on his face that someone might have as they stood before a Masters in a museum.

Merlin seemed relaxed and content. He'd glance at his hands and then glance up to see if Arthur was still there. He'd smile shyly before again finding his own hands interesting.

Having enough, Gawaine went over to join them, realising that he wasn't necessarily needed but he felt that he should be there to offer support in case he was.

Merlin looked up smiled and said, "I should be going but I wanted to thank you for inviting me. I had a great time and...it was nice meeting you again, Arthur."

Gawaine could see the effort it was taking Merlin to think straight and speak at the same time. He was as high as a kite on one Guinness. Laughing, Gawaine said, "Merlin, Where do your friends live? I have my car here so as I'm driving Arthur home, I'll drive you too?"

"I can't have you do that. They live near the British Museum."

Gawaine knew that Arthur would want to keep Merlin in his sights. He was sure that he'd have him drop Merlin off first so he could spend the maximum time with him before saying goodnight.

"Look that's no problem, we'll drive there and then I'll make my way back to Arthur's as we don't live too far from each other," he looked at Arthur and said, "All right?"

Arthur added, "Gawaine won't be driving too far out of his way..." He laughed, "...and I'll be able to point out tourist hot spots along the way."

"If you are sure, I'm not being a nuisance?"

Arthur laughed as he thought, 'Merlin, you'll never be a nuisance.' However he said, "Then that's all taken care of." He pushed his chair back and stood up.

Merlin excused himself leaving the others to go to the men's room.

Gawaine grinned at Arthur saying, "I'm proud of you, you almost behaved as a well mannered adult tonight."

Arthur looking slightly embarrassed punched him lightly in the arm, saying, "Gawaine, don't you dare embarrass him with your observations. Give him a chance to know me before you start hauling out all the well-buried secrets of our past."

"Agreed, but one day I intend to reveal things that will have you cringing and your ears turning red. Remember, I was there for many of them. Little things such as when you got caught downstairs in only your briefs and had to hide in the cook's pantry until I gallantly rescued you!"

"With my own clothes which you had stolen after daring me to sneak downstairs to get some of the left over desserts."

"Tut tut, Old Boy, we can't all be perfect!"

-0-0-

After washing his hands, Merlin stood looking at himself in the mirror. He knew he liked Arthur and would like to get to know him better. He didn't want to seem too eager, especially as one of Gaius's favourite sayings was about acting in haste and repenting at leisure.

He joined the others and Arthur held the pub door the door for them.

Merlin looked around at all the tall building saying to Gawaine, "Which is your building?"

Gawaine's pointed to One Canada Place, "I'm on the seventeenth and Arthur's in the attic on the fiftieth."

"Gosh, Arthur, you're up so high! It must be neat in heavy rain or low clouds. You must think you're in heaven."

'Can't compare to how I feel now!' Arthur thought but said, "One day, you'll have to come visit me when I'm working, I'll see you get lunch." However, after his recent talk with Gawaine, he worried that maybe, he was coming on a little strong. He backtracked by saying, "That is if you would like to...visit I mean."

Gawaine stepped in before Arthur got in any deeper. Here was calm, cool Arthur falling apart, thrown by one rather attractive vet from Cambridge, so he said, "Arthur, I'm sure there are other things to look at than boring offices."

Merlin said with a smile, "I'd love to visit your office, however tomorrow, I really want to go to The Tower and Greenwich."

Arthur said, "I'm free tomorrow, how about I see if I can get some tickets at The Wanamaker, if not, maybe some other show." Figuring that he didn't want to seem overbearing, he added, "Gawaine if you're free, why don't you come too?"

Reading between the lines, Gawaine begged off, saying he had a date.

Merlin though seemed interested, "I'd like that, do you think you can get tickets?"

Arthur nodded thinking, 'Come hell or high water.'

They had reached Gawaine's parking space and they got in his car. Arthur insisted that Merlin sit in front and he got in behind. Gawaine pulled away from Canary Wharf and made his way across London.

The three of them talked about the sights they passed and Gawaine smiled to himself thinking that he was just a fly on the wall. Finally it was mostly Arthur and Merlin talking. Merlin chattered about his job as Arthur kept asking him questions.

Soon they were pulling up outside a well-kept Georgian home. "My friends have the ground floor and also have the garden which is great for their little dog. They're going out of town tomorrow for two days. Maybe another time you can meet them. They're a nice couple Adam my friend is a psychotherapist and his partner Tim is a paediatric cardiovascular surgeon.

Gawaine smiled, it was obvious that Merlin was medically trained as he himself would have just called him a kids' heart doctor.

Merlin reached for the door handle but Arthur put his hand onto his shoulder restraining him. He turned to look back at him as Arthur said, "Give me your phone..." Then realising that that was rather abrupt, he added, "Please?"

Merlin laughed as he handed it to him, "Only if you reciprocate."

Arthur reached into his pocket and handed his over, "Thank you for a very enjoyable evening. Might we do it again sometime?"

Blushing slightly, Merlin nodded and took back his phone. Arthur knew then and there if he and Merlin had been alone he would have tried to kiss him. He came back to the present as Merlin said to him, "Maybe, another time...I could see your office. I'd love to take some photos of London to send to my uncle and mother."

Gawaine looked at his watch, this could go on for hours. Merlin must have noticed him out of the corner of his eye he said, "I really should be going…" He smiled adding ,"As I suspect that I'm keeping Gawaine from his beauty sleep! Thank you both. If you ever get to Cambridge, I insist that you will let me show you around. It's a lovely city and some of the pubs are on the River Cam."

He turned smiling first at Gawaine and then as he got out of the car he smiled at Arthur who had also got out of the car. He had ducked his head before raising his eyes. His smile turned Arthur's knees to jelly so he put his hand on the car for support.

Merlin suddenly feeling very sure of himself said quietly, "Ring me!"

-0-0-

Arthur joined Gawaine in the front seats and they drove back towards Tower Bridge. They drove in silence until Gawaine finally remarked that Arthur seemed rather quiet.

"Just thinking…" Arthur said unwilling to add anything. He knew he was out of his depth as upon sitting in the passenger's seat which was still warm from Merlin's having sat there, he felt overwhelmed. He wondered how a person could have such an effect on him? Was this normal? Was it only happening in his mind or was Merlin also conscious of the feeling?

Unknown to him, Gawaine had glanced at him and then looked away smiling, Poor Arthur, he was now likely experiencing the torment of remembering being in the presence of someone who fascinated him to the point of taking over every part of his being, especially his mind and his heart.

Gawaine thought with a smile, 'Couldn't happen to a nicer person!' His own love life was unresolved and his mind was plagued. He was sure that he was in love with Tess but unless Tess agreed to accept his friendship, it would be an unrequited love. The intensity of one person's feelings tempered by the possible disinterest of the other was difficult to accept. His hopes were still high that she would continue the friendship and possibly take it up a notch, however that would be a decision he would let her make as he liked her too much to force her into an uncomfortable and possible embarrassing situation.

He knew how Arthur was feeling knowing that Tess had the same effect on him. He was going to say something trivial but then kept quiet, Arthur needed time by himself to get his mind organised and to enjoy the novelty of meeting someone who had, obviously to Gawaine swept him off his feet.

They pulled up outside Arthur's condo. "Are you coming in for a nightcap?" Arthur asked.

Gawaine smiled before refusing, "I think you have enough on your mind without trying to entertain me."

"No, I'm fine," said Arthur as he got out of the car. He laughed before adding, "Well, I suppose one day, I will be!"

Gawaine laughed and as Arthur walked in front of his car to get to the lobby door, he rolled down the window saying, "Have a nice time tomorrow. Don't worry as I have a feeling that our friend Merlin isn't going to get much sleep tonight either!"

"Good night, Gawaine!" Arthur said shaking his head as he opened the lobby door. He knew that Gawaine had hit the nail on the head, he wasn't going to be able to sleep.

-0-0-

He got ready for bed and put out all the lights, lying on the bed, he remembered what Merlin had said, he took his phone and speed dialled the latest number added to his phone list…

It was picked up almost immediately and Arthur heard Merlin say, "Arthur? Good, you got home safely. Thank you so much for a lovely evening. I hope that I didn't commandeer the conversation as I have a habit of talking too much when I am nervous."

Arthur smiled as he said, "No, Merlin you were just perfect. Did you mean for me to phone tonight for as I hit the button, I wondered if maybe, you had meant for me to phone in the morning before we met?"

"No, I meant now so that I would know that you got home safely." There was a pause then Merlin continued, "Arthur, you don't really have to go to the Tower and Greenwich with me, if you don't want to…I'd understand. Sometimes we say things and then think why in heaven's name did I agree…"

"But I do want to go with you!" Arthur said interrupting him before adding quietly, "That is if you are sure that I won't be a nuisance because if you would prefer to be by yourself, just say so…?"

He held his breath and waited until Merlin said, "I'd like to have your company…I think we'd enjoy ourselves, don't you?"

Arthur smiled into the darkness if Merlin only knew that just looking at him caused him enjoyment, he said, "I'm sure we will… I'd better let you go now as we both need to sleep. If it's all right, I'll call again tomorrow morning…" he laughed realising that it was already tomorrow, so he added, "…I mean later this morning say around nine."

"That sounds great. Good night, Arthur, and thank you for phoning."

"Good night, Merlin! See you tomorrow…!" Arthur wanted to stay on the phone just to keep the connection between them alive.

Merlin laughing finally said, "Arthur, I'm hanging up on three. One…two…!"

Clicking on disconnect, Arthur hugged the phone to his chest. His mind was buzzing, he was sure he was never going to sleep, so he just let his mind replay Friday, from when he realised that Gawaine was talking to someone in the pub and he had glanced up and saw Merlin to when Merlin had counted to three.

-0-0-

But sleep him finally did, a sleep of disasters and unexplained events all the time in the close companionship of someone he neither saw nor spoke to. He woke bathed in the glow of happiness and he smiled, he knew who the other person had been and it made getting up all the more exciting. They were going to spend the day together.

He made coffee. "Now, don't do anything stupid today, let him make the first move and remain calm," Arthur warned himself as he sat looking out at London, mentally acknowledging that the Tower, its Bridge, the Gherkin and also Canary Wharf were there. He laughed to himself, realising Merlin would have to make the first move as he really had no experience in dealing with another man except in the fields of business, sports and old school mates. He smiled as he thought again about the previous evening, Merlin had settled so well in their group. He didn't seem to be intimidated or nervous and had been quite capable of holding up his end of the conversation and when he smiled…well, then Arthur had realised that he wanted to get to know this person more than any other person he had ever met. He wanted to know him inside and out, upside down and right side up.

He really owed Gawaine big time for inviting Merlin.

He grabbed a coffee and returned to his room. He had to decide what to wear and take a shower. He'd worry about breakfast later. He hummed as he put his shaving stuff on the counter, he hated clustered surfaces, found them annoying and distracting, his home like his office had everything in its place.

His ensuite was large, it was another reason for buying the condo. The bathroom was ultra modern and resembled more a wet room than your usual bath/shower combination stuck in one room. The double sink areas were clearly separated. One each side of the room and very modern. His wardrobe was a walk-in fitted with everything that a man could desire. A duplicate walk-in was available in a more feminine style. He grinned as he used that as a storage room. At a push, it was large enough to take a single bed and he'd often thought that he could have rented it out as a pied-à-terre in London should the financial need ever arise.

He towelled himself off and walked back into his bedroom. He clothes were on his bed and he slipped into them, checking himself from every angle that he looked the part. He grinned to himself, 'The part? Which part, was that, the love interest or only the best friend?'

He was still grinning when his phone buzzed, in his haste he knocked it on the floor and had to reach under the bed. He answered it breathlessly, "Hello, Merlin?"

There was a slight pause and Merlin said with a hint of amusement, "Is this a bad time?"

Arthur blushed as he tried to explain that he had been grovelling under his bed as he'd knocked his phone on the floor.

"That's a novel explanation..." Merlin commented. "I'm kidding. I was wondering how far advanced you were. I have just finished breakfast and I'm raring to go. I've been up ages as Adam and Tim left over an hour ago."

"I'm ready, " Arthur answered figuring that he'd have time for a slice of toast before leaving. He was going to walk over Tower Bridge whereas, Merlin would have to take the underground. "When you get off the tube at Tower Hill, follow the signs near the left entrance, go down stairs and through subway under Tower Hill Road, I'll be waiting for you at the end of the passageway."

Merlin and he had discussed the poppy exhibit and Arthur knew that it would be a good place to start. It was centennial memorial on the inner moat for military personnel, killed since the beginning of World War I in 1914. Eight hundred eighty-eight thousand, two hundred forty-six porcelain poppies had been planted representing the fallen. The exhibit was officially known as Blood Swept Land and Seas of Red. However most people, visitors included referred to it as the Poppies at the Tower.

Arthur remembered when he had first visited it and the affect it had on spectators was interesting. There was a silence as if you were in a church, the waves of poppies brought home even to the most hard-hearted the magnitude of men and women who had given their lives to save our country.

Arthur especially approved of the poppies cascading out of the tower arrow slits referred to as The Weeping Windows and flowing down the walls to join the waves of red poppies below. He felt quite emotional about it. His father never spoke of Arthur's grandfather's time in the war and Arthur as a child had never really understood the significance of the medals.

By the time he was able to ask questions, hIs grandfather had died and all personnel information had been buried with him. It was sad but he knew that he was not alone in that, as many of the soldiers returning from the war had never told their families of the horrors they had experienced.

He ate his toast and finished his coffee which was cold but he was too nervous to make another cup in case it made him late and Merlin had to wait for him. He smiled to himself as in businesses he understood the strategy of making someone wait. It gave you the upper hand but with Merlin, he didn't want the upper hand, he was just excited at the prospect of seeing him again.

Slipping his phone in his pocket, checking he had his watch and his wallet, he grabbed a light coat and leaving his condo, locked his door.

His front door and the lift door were the only doors in the private hallway. In this section of the building, the lift which he used, was designated for only one condo per floor, the condo owner having the key to open the lift on his specific floor. Maintenance staff had master keys but technically he could have left his front door open as only he could open the lift door on his level. Guests signed in with the concierge in the main lobby and he was notified by phone of their arrival before they made their way to the lifts. As a safety precaution there was a door off his utility room through which he could in an emergency exit his condo into the main public area of the building.

He had only opened that door once, just to get an idea of where he would end up and the nearest fire exit. The condo builders had thought of everything, the private door was nondescript, it had no number just a letter and could only be opened with a pass key or accessed from the interior of his condo. To anyone passing, it resembled a door to a cupboard or utility area.

When Gawaine had first heard about it he was all for coming in that way and banging on the door until Arthur opened it. "Arthur, it'd be great if you had a wife, your lover could escape through that door." Something else came up and Arthur was happy that Gawaine had been sidetracked and not mentioned it again.

He reached the lobby and nodded at the concierge who said, "Good Morning, Mr. Pendragon. Do you need a cab?"

Arthur answered, "Good morning, Russell! No, it's shank's mare for me today..." A security man on duty, stepped over and opened the door for Arthur who said, "Thank you." Once outside, he pulled his coat closed, it was cool but bright and the forecast was for a clear day.

As he walked over Tower Bridge he realised that never had his heart felt so large in his chest. He smiled to himself as he attributed it to his soon to be meeting with a certain young man.

Over all the years that he'd escorted women, even confessing to enjoying their company, never had he felt so excited about seeing someone. Was this really the path that he should be following? Was this to bring him the happiness and support he had seen in his committed friends?

Below him he could see the poppies and the people who were already standing quietly admiring them, he continued to where he planned to meet Merlin.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6 : TOURISTS ONE AND ALL**

Merlin followed Arthur's directions and found the signs for the Tower and the pedestrian subway with no problem. He had his camera bag over his shoulder and his camera inside his buttoned coat. He had decided that flaunting his camera on the tube was courting disaster.

He came into the sunshine and smiled standing ahead of him was Arthur. Merlin had a shock as he looked at him realising again how handsome he was. He smiled and Arthur stepped forward.

"You made it! All sorts of silly things were going through my head that you'd had a sudden change of mind or that you'd received a better offer."

"Arthur, relax! I said I'd be happy to spend the day with you and I am." As they started to descend towards the Tower, his eyes were caught by the poppies, "They are more inspiring in real life than on TV. Can we stop for a while so I can get some shots?"

"Sure, you're the boss today. You get to decide what we do and when. Let me have your camera bag, then you will have both hands free." Merlin handed over the bag and Arthur slipped it on his shoulder. He wasn't a photographer and when he took a photo it was on his iPhone.

Merlin must have noticed him mentally gauging the weight of the contents and said, "I have extra lenses, a backup camera and also a small tripod in case I need it. You never know when you will get the opportunity to return to take more photos so this way I am covered."

Nodding, Arthur following Merlin to an area, where they could look down into the moat. He pointed out the poppies gushing out of the bastion window and said, "When we go across the entry bridge there is also an installation of poppies which flows over our heads." But he realised that Merlin was so mesmerised by the colours against the walls of the Tower, that he really wasn't paying any attention.

Arthur was quite happy watching him, every now and again he would catch Arthur's eye and give him a grin. Arthur followed him around and was interested as at one point he seemed to be photographing the moat with the walls of the Tower and the Shard in the background.

Taking a break, Merlin said, "I'd love to fly over here in a helicopter. Imagine the pictures…"

Not wanted to put a damper on the idea but being realistic Arthur had said, "Doubt that you can as it's probably restricted air space, probably just a fly past down the Thames." He'd seen the yellow tour helicopters flying down the Thames but had never seen them actually going over the Tower.

Merlin had visited the tower before and knew exactly what ares he wanted to revisit for photographs. As they walked in the main area, Arthur said ceremoniously, "Welcome to her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress of the Tower of London." He had spent a day there last summer with Tess and her son, so most of the juicy bits of the tour were still clearly in his mind. His school had also visited when they had spent a few days in London.

Merlin laughed at him saying, "Thank you, kind Sir!" Then added, " Do you mind if we just wander and I takes shots of different things?"

Arthur agreed knowing that wandering with Merlin was probably better than most of the things he could think of doing on a Saturday.

They had wandered into the Innermost Ward and Merlin had been happy photographing the oldest building on the site, the White Tower. Arthur was standing back admiring it, it certainly would have struck fear into the citizens with the thought that wrongdoers would be incarcerated there. Merlin turned and saw Arthur behind him and had put the camera to his eye and before clicking it had said, "May I?"

Arthur had nodded saying, "Yes, as long as I get a chance to delete any which in later years might cause me embarrassment."

"I wouldn't do that to you. It's just that you seem to fit in so well."

"How, as royalty or an unfortunate traitor?"

"Hopefully, the former as I really be upset going to Greenwich and leaving you incarcerated here."

They walked across to Wakefield Tower with its views over Traitors' Gate of the river. Arthur was conscious that Merlin's mood had changed, he was no longer chatty and he noticed that he had shuddered more than once and he asked him if he was feeling chilled. He sheepishly explained that he was feeling uncomfortable in the tower. Its history seemed to be pressing in on him.

"Let's go outside, we will be able to stand in the sun. Maybe you need a cup of something warm at the cafe.

"All right but just a few more pictures, I find myself drawn to be here yet disturbed at the same time."

Before Arthur realised it he had stretched over to Merlin and put his arm around his shoulders, "Don't worry, I'll stay here and keep an eye on you!" Arthur realised how close he was and pulled awkwardly back but Merlin didn't seem to be phased. Arthur said quietly, "Sorry that was maybe uncalled for…"

Merlin smiled at him and said, "Maybe it was just what I needed…a few more shots and then we'll go outside."

Arthur watched Merlin like a hawk. He had felt absolutely nothing in the tower but he remembered that Tess's boy Alfred had refused to walk into the building. He had just stood there shaking his head saying, "No, I can't! Not this one…I can't…!" Yet Arthur recalled that the kid had been quite happy at the Scaffold site next to the Queen's Park and none of the Beefeater's stories had seemed to upset him. He'd be glad when they left this blasted tower.

Soon they did and Merlin seemed to perk up once he crossed the threshold. Arthur had seen a sign for a cafe and steered him towards it. They had already been wandering around for three hours and it was lunch time. Merlin had laughed when Arthur had suggested that they have a strong cup of tea and appropriately a roast beef sandwich so he'd added, "Put skin on your back like velvet!" Remembering how Gaius had used that phrase when as a kid he didn't want to eat something that his mother put before him on the table.

Arthur laughed explaining that they had a House Master at school who said the same thing and Gawaine had got in trouble for saying, "But, Sir, wouldn't skin like leather be better?"

Arthur did have the beef but Merlin settled for Fowlers' Pie with Arthur kidding, "Let's hope that there is no raven meat in it or you'll be attacked as we try to leave."

They wandered past the Beefeaters' small and quaint, half tudored houses with the blue doors, four storey homes with one room on each level, which they rent while they are working at the tower. Arthur told Merlin that each Yeoman Warder had completed twenty-two years of military service and could come from all parts of the United Kingdom.

They made their way out of the Tower and Arthur turned south to walk towards the river, Merlin said, "Great I'll be able to get some photos. Which building's your condo?"

Arthur pointed it out and also the modern City Hall beside it. Merlin started taking photos and then had Arthur stand by the wall and he lined up the condo so that it was just over his right shoulder, saying, "You can keep that in your wallet so that if ever you get lost you can show it to a taxi driver and he'll be able to get you safely home."

He then put his lens cap on his camera and turned to walk up to Tower Hill Road but Arthur put his hand on his arm and said, "Not that way, we'll go down the Thames by boat, you'll be able to get lots of other shots."

-0-0-

It had been an excellent idea, Arthur purchased tickets at Tower Pier and they boarded the City Cruise tour boat and chose to sit upstairs. As the boat swung away from the pier it backed up into the river, Arthur noticed that the traffic on Tower Bridge had stopped and the mechanism within the tower was raising the roadway to permit a larger vessel to sail up the river.

He smiled to himself and glancing at Merlin who was checking his camera said, "Every now and again, London gives someone, a special welcome."

Merlin glanced in his direction and said, "Who?"

"You…! Look at the bridge." Arthur had to laugh at the look of disbelief on Merlin's face. A photographer's dream, he was mid-river and Tower Bridge had opened up for him. He started taking shots immediately. The tour boat was holding its position, because of photo opportunities for its passengers or because of the river traffic Arthur wasn't sure, but it was perfect either way.

A tall masted yacht came into view and sailed toward them under the bridge. Arthur realised that Merlin was not the only excited passengers as a buzz went through the group.

Merlin was taking shot after shot and as the yacht finally passed them and they went forward as the bridge which was now being lowered, Merlin said, "Thank you!"

"For what?" Arthur asked.

"For arranging that!"

Arthur felt his breath catch in his throat and he smiled, "Merlin, if I could have I would have; however that was just pure coincidence. I'm sorry not to be able to take any credit for it."

"I know but it is because you had the idea to go on the Thames that I was able to get some great shots. Honestly, Arthur until the day I die, I will never forget this moment…a photographers' dream. How many people are in the exact position for something as great as that! I even got the exact moment the yacht's mast was in the position where the roadway normally would have been." He added nonchalantly, "Arthur Pendragon, I love you!" He blushed, grinned and hid behind his camera.

Arthur felt uncomfortable, he wanted so much to put his arms around Merlin and hold him tightly so that this would also be a moment which he would never forget. He knew that it was just a trite saying but then again, was there maybe something more behind the blush? He smiled and said quietly, "Well, now you will have to find a way to show your appreciation."

He would never be sure that Merlin heard him as the boat surged forward and approached the bridge, Merlin stood to get another shot. Arthur was sure that when he sat down again, he was closer to him than he had been before but Merlin just kept chattering about the buildings along the river and the shots he wanted to take once they reached Greenwich.

Arthur had taken the boat trip a few times, however he had never before had this warm glow inside. He would have been quite content to just have sailed right on past Greenwich, The O2, Thames Barrage, London Gateway and out into the Channel and across to The Netherlands as long as Merlin was sitting beside him.

The trip to Greenwich took about thirty odd minutes. The former docklands were mostly expensive condos and home. Merlin was pleased to be able to take photos of Canary Wharf from the river and having Arthur beside him able to answer most of his incessant questions, it was not unlike having your own private commentary. On a trip down to the toilet, he had picked up various sightseeing pamphlets, as well as bottles of water and two packs of crisps, explaining that the sea air had given him an appetite.

Arthur had shook his head and laughed saying, "The Channel must be close to forty odd miles downstream. You must have an excellent sense of smell." Needless to say, he happily ate the crisps.

Merlin had picked up one of the Thames Clippers timetable, he glanced through it deciding that for Arthur taking a ferry to work each day might be fun. "Arthur, you could walk to the Tower Pier and go to work by ferry getting off at Canary Wharf Pier ten minutes later. That would put you in a good mood every morning."

"Even in the cold blustery winter? No thanks, I'd rather take my car or the tube as then at least you don't see the pelting rain and the sad faces of the pedestrians."

"But, it doesn't rain every day in London, does it?"

"No, Silly, just every other day…!" Arthur elbowed Merlin gently in the ribs.

Merlin grinned back, how had he ever thought that Arthur was cold and unresponsive? However that first meeting at the stables had made him feel just that and it was compounded by his second meeting when he was a guest at Throgmorton. Arthur had hardly said two words, but had seemed to be carefully following any conversation he himself had had with the other guests at the table. If it hadn't been for Gaius's kind words about Arthur and his good opinion of him, he was sure that he would never have been sitting beside him enjoying his company.

He could feel that the boat was slowing and holding its position on the river, the view of Greenwich with the University of Greenwich and the Queen's House with the lawns were so wonderful that he almost forgot to take pictures. Arthur had laughed at him telling him not to give up his day job.

-0-0-

The boat finally pulled up at the pier and the two of them disembarked. To their right was a replica of the Cutty Sark and ahead was the road into Greenwich town. Merlin wanted to climb up to the observatory to get panoramic pictures of the site. They left the dock area and began the climb.

The weather was perfect and Arthur opened his coat. He had picked up Merlin's camera bag on the boat and he threw it over his shoulder. Merlin had checked to see that it was still with them and had nodded, "I should consider taking you away with me when I go on photographic expeditions."

Arthur heart had skipped a beat but he added jokingly, "For a price!"

"Negotiable, I hope!"

"We'll have to see about that…!" said Arthur blushing slightly then fell into comfortable silence beside him. They had a good climb to the top but the view was well worth it.

Merlin could see clouds gathering in the West and not wanting to lose too much time inside, they opted to skip the exhibits. He however insisted that they took pictures of each other standing on the Prime Meridian with a foot in each hemisphere.

He had been chatting with a couple of Canadians about the merits of the SLR cameras and one of the men said, "I'll take photo of you and your boyfriend standing in different hemispheres." Arthur had blushed but Merlin had gamely handed his camera over and taking Arthur's hand had pulled him into position. The tourist had said, "Smile for the dicky bird!" Arthur had grinned, he hadn't heard anyone say that when taking pictures since he was a young child, and he couldn't help but smile. He heard the camera click.

Merlin smiled thinking that if it came out it would be a nice souvenir of their day in London. The photo had turned out to be excellent and apart from the one taken to follow it was his favourite.

The photographer had laughed and added, "Now look at each other as if you meant it." The man he was with had said something amusing and the photographer had laughed back, saying, "Kisses are not always necessary…the look will tell it all!

However, Merlin had pulled Arthur toward him and chastely placed his lips on his while smiling. The camera clicked, he had then let go of Arthur grinned and not in the least perturbed had whispered, "For posterity!"

Arthur was blown away, Merlin had acted so naturally as if it were an everyday occurrence to share a kiss. He glanced at him as he took his camera from the other man and they all shook hands, wishing the visitors a good time on the rest of their travels.

As they walked back down the hill, Merlin slipped his hand into Arthur's, "You aren't cross with me because of the kiss, are you?

Arthur shook his head and said, "No!" That was the truth he wasn't embarrassed and suddenly the realisation that if he was with Merlin he could probably face a future of being in love with another man. "Surprised," he added, "But not embarrassed!"

"Good!" Merlin hummed as he squeezed his hand.

Not really believing that they were walking hand and hand down the hill to the Queen's House, Arthur realised that he felt quite at ease. He liked Merlin, it was as if he had known him for ages and had just never actually met him. He wondered if this was what soul mates meant, utter trust and realisation in mind and body, that you were with the right person. He turned to look at him and Merlin had conspiratorially grinned back. They had stopped at a bench half way down and Merlin had checked the photos which had been taken. He smiled, they were not perfect but better than expected. Handing your camera to someone you don't know will not always guarantee great photos but these were good. Sharing the kiss one with Arthur he'd laughed, "Arthur, I believe you closed your eyes, that is adorable! Wait till I show Gawaine…"

"No, you don't or I'll never speak to you again!" Arthur said pretending to be shocked. Actually not only did he love the photo and prossiblty would one day let Gawaine see it but not now; it was something special between Merlin and him which he intended to safeguard.

Anyway, who knew if Merlin would ever kiss him again and he knew that he was thinking of more than a chaste peck on the lips… Merlin was busy with his camera and the next thing Arthur's phone pinged and opening it, he saw that Merlin had already sent three to him, his standing with one foot in each hemisphere: the two of them standing facing each other holding hands, Merlin in the western hemisphere and he in the eastern…and the one where Merlin had turned and kissed him. The first, he would share with his mother and Gaius, the other two he would enjoy by himself for the time being.

They continued down towards the Thames and visited both the Chapel and the Painted Hall. Arthur was surprised that Merlin took no interior shots but he explained that the lighting wasn't sufficient to really do the interiors credit.

Arthur told him that when he and Gawaine had come with their school, the two of them he sneaked off and met some Austrian girls and fooled around until they saw their schoolmates and had then slipped back into the bunch. Gawaine had even had the cheek on the boat to tell their teacher how much he had appreciated the tour of the Painted Chapel.

"God will get him!" Merlin said grinning. He could believe that Gawaine would do something like that.

They then found the carved memorial flagstone in the Grand Square commemorating the fact that King Henry the Eighth, Mary Tudor his daughter out of Catherine of Aragon and Queen Elizabeth First from Anne Boylen were all born at the Palace of Palentia which had subsequently been demolished, however the foundations had been discovered in the Grand Square. Arthur went on to tell him that when the tide was out, you could see what looked like the blackened tree stumps, authenticated as pilings of a Tudor Pier.

"You're a regular fount of knowledge," Merlin had observed with a smile.

"Well, this is my backyard," he bent down to remove a twig from the flagstone, "I'm sure that when I come to Cambridge…" he stopped. Talk about taking something for granted, Merlin would think that he was really desperate for an invitation.

"Yes?"

"Well, I meant that…if ever I happened to be there…" he got more flustered, "You would… probably know lots of things about that place as well…" Arthur's sentence fizzled out. He could have dug a hole and buried himself. He finally found the courage to look up at Merlin and all he could think was that Merlin's smile was definitely smug!


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 : DISRUPTIVE MEMORIES**

Merlin was still smiling when they made their way back to the main street. He looked at his watch saying, "Are you hungry? It's gone six."

Arthur nodded, "I could go for a drink and something to eat."

"A drink-drink or tea or coffee?"

"Just something wet and possibly warm. There's a Cafe Rouge up ahead, also Nando's right at the Pier or we could go back into London proper and find somewhere to eat."

"What time is the last boat?"

"I think, we've already missed the last tour boat but it's no problem as we can always take the underground or the regular river service, I think their last boat at around 11:30 p.m. Your choice!"

Merlin thought for a few seconds and said, "If it's all right with you, I would like to see London at night from the river."

Arthur smiled, "Then, that's what we'll do. Let's just wander around until we find somewhere to eat that appeals to both of us."

They wandered around happily chatting and saw the Cafe Rouge. Merlin said, "We know the food is good and I like it better than Nando's, do you think we could go there?"

"Fine with me, I rather like their Bouillabaisse."

Merlin grinned, "I've never tried it as I'm really allergic to snails and there might be one in there." Arthur laughed at him. "No, I'm serious, I went out of town with a friend to the wedding of a chap from college. At the cocktail party, I sampled an hors d'oeuvre pastry covered thing. I didn't know what I was eating, I really thought by the texture that they were rubbery mushrooms only had two as my friend came along. Within six or seven minutes I had a tickle in my throat and then I was wheezing. I'm sure that if I had eaten more, I would have been in a real mess, even ended up in hospital.

"My friend insisted that I went up to his room as he had some antihistamines and I took one and within fifteen minutes, felt slightly better. He was really kind and insisted on sitting with me until I felt all right. Of course, he later told me that he was scared to leave as I looked so awful. He made me to tell him what I'd had to eat and I told him rubbery mushrooms from the hors d'oeuvre platter. He'd howled and said that they were pastry covered escargots. From that day on I've stayed away from snails…that is unless they are alive!"

"Well, thanks for telling me as I might have accidentally slipped you a snail, just to see what would happen. Not now, I'll cry 'Snail Alert!' and remain vigilant."

Merlin grinned thanking him profusely and said, "Do you have any allergies? So that I can reciprocate."

"Not that I know. Mind you, until you have a funny reaction you can't be sure. I always a felt that I was allergic to green clothes."

"You can't be allergic to a colour. Maybe you were allergic to the material that made up the clothing."

"No, because it didn't matter whether it was silk, cotton or wool. In no time I was conscious of my skin getting itchy." The waiter came over and they ordered their meals and some wine. Arthur continued, "I just never wore green if I had a choice. I can wear apple or mint green even sea green but nothing in the more vibrant or darker shades."

Merlin nodded, "A dog once came to the clinic and it had an aversion to a black lead but went quite happily on an identical red one. Turns out, the kid in the family used to tie the black lead around its neck and try to get it to pull him on his trike. Kid's mother put an end to that and everyone was happy including the poor dog." Merlin added kindly, "Maybe you have an underlying fear of green for some reason like that."

"Merlin, I don't make a habit of letting people tie things around my neck and then hang on to me. I'm sure it's not that. Though I once got caught on a slide and almost strangled and my sweater was green that day."

"Well, for heaven's sake steer away from green!"

One day Arthur intended to tell Merlin the truth that his very first school uniform was green and he hated the school so much that his father had, upon a doctor's advice enrolled him in another school. Arthur thrived at All Angels Infant School and the fact that his uniform was maroon had helped. Turning to Merlin he said, "Are you allergic to any colour?"

"Not that I know, I have my preferences as I remember once having a dressing gown which I hated because it was a mustard colour, now don't get me wrong I love yellow but the mustard was so drab and uninspiring, it was also itchy so maybe that had something to do with it."

Arthur thought, 'Never buy him anything in mustard.' He smiled to himself, he was so out of control that he was already mentally purchasing clothes for the man opposite him. He didn't want the day to ever end for he was having such a lovely time.

They shared two starters, one of which the smoked salmon was delicious. Arthur mentioned that he had friends in Scotland who had some of the best Salmon rivers. "Do you fish?"

Merlin shook his head, "I don't think I'd have the patience for it, mind you a fresh fillet of salmon would always be welcomed on my table. Gaius sometimes gets a salmon and he grills it on the barbecue. Delicious! My mother has a cousin in Canada and when we visited we had maple-sugar glazed salmon. That was something to write home about as was the fantastic scenery: the Pacific Mountains, glacial lakes, and forests which go on for miles, the Prairies and finally the Atlantic. I took lots of photos and then made up an Apple iPhoto Book, two actually one for our hosts and one for us to keep. Have you ever had a chance to go there?"

"No, flew over part of it on the way to New York but never been there. Figure, I'd like to go in the winter and ski but the length of the runs in the East don't compare to Europe. Do you ski?"

"Well, let's say that if you put me on the top of an advanced run, I would be back at the hotel before nightfall but my style would be compromised and I might not be all in one piece."

Arthur laughed and one of the servers arrived to put their meals on the table. Arthur approved; his bouillabaisse looked delicious. "Don't worry, I won't let any escargot escape to you plate," he said teasing Merlin who had ordered salmon and haddock fish cakes."

"Don't you ever eat meat?"

"Seldom, I'd have to eat it if I were invited to someone's house but usually I'm happier with fish."

Arthur made a mental note to have a selection of fish when…or rather, if Merlin ever came to stay. The wine arrived and he noticed that Merlin only drank one glass.

It was getting late Arthur insisted on paying and the two of them left. Merlin had complained saying that Arthur had already done enough but Arthur insisted that he was his guest for the day so it was only right that he took care of all the expenses. They walked back to the pier for the boat, The evening was clear but they decided to sit in the interior lounge as the upstairs was crowded. They got seats in the front and enjoyed the trip. Merlin was quite at ease with Arthur and was sitting closer to him than he would have any new acquaintance, Arthur had not moved away so he decided that he did not feel crowded.

Canary Wharf looked wonderful all lit up and Merlin could easily pick out Arthur's One Canada Place with its pyramid roof.

In no time, Tower Bridge was in sight. "Guess the powers-that-be don't realise you are on the boat as I'm sure they would have again opened the bridge for you," Arthur said.

Merlin laughed, "Can't expect royal attention every time I'm on the river, can I?"

"Well, if I had my way, you would!" Arthur realised too late that he had used his outside voice. He turned his head not wanting to make eye contact with Merlin.

Merlin said, "Why, Arthur, I do believe that you are blushing."

"I'm not!" Then he decided to be truthful and asked tentatively "Am I?"

At that moment Merlin acting on instinct put his arm around Arthur's shoulders saying, "Yes, I think you are…" As Arthur didn't flinch or pull away, he kept his arm there.

Merlin thought, 'This can't be happening. I swore to myself I would go into my next relationship eyes wide opened, seeing it as a calculated risk, taking time to think out all the complexities and see the bad as well as the good in the person who interested me.

'God, I need help as my body is saying, 'Go for it!' and my mind is trying to pull on the reins and make me remember…' He shook his head, he didn't want those sad memories to interfere which this lovely day. He didn't want to become involved with anyone until he was sure, he could afford to be hurt again and certainly not by someone as kind and interesting as Arthur. He had to put on the brakes and think twice before doing anything stupid or remotely romantic.

Under the pretence of taking another photo, he removed his arm. As the boat reached Tower Pier, he allowed himself one bit of luxury by taking a mid-river photo of Arthur against his lighted condo building.

They were one of the last couples off the boat.

Arthur wanted to invite Merlin up to his place but he felt that might be taken as a sign of a pre-existing desperation and possibly had overtones of a one night stand.

Any girl he had been sufficiently interested in, he would always see her home safely on the first date not expecting anything more than maybe a chaste kiss. He wondered if that also applied to men.

Neither man had told the other of his past relationships but Arthur was at a loss. Personally, he would have appreciated being taken home and left with a promise of another date if this day could have been considered as such. Was that what Merlin and he had just shared? He was sure that Merlin felt something as he did for him. It was a shame that they didn't both live in Greater London, as once Merlin left on Sunday, it would be to go back to Cambridge.

He wished he'd asked Gawaine about what happened on first dates but then again he knew his friend would have laughed saying, 'There's no difference, if you like what you see, go for it!' and probably would have followed that up with a wink and a nod. Lot of help that would have been.

However, Gawaine himself would have confessed that he certainly was known more for his prowess than for his romantic attitude. He really mightn't have been the best person to ask. Mind you, with Tess he had seemed to be a real gentleman, a completely changed character.

Arthur laughed and Merlin smiled turning to him as they stood looking across the river. "Something funny?"

"Not really just that ," Arthur smiled sheepishly, "I have to confess, that I'm out of my depth. What do we do next?"

Merlin looked at Arthur; he remembered as a sixteen year old being with Gaius when he'd told him that his grandmother had died. He remembered Gaius opening his arms and saying, "Come here! It will be all right! We'll manage just the three of us." They had but the feeling at that moment of having someone giving him a hug was what he remembered the most. His mother had once told him that God hugs people when there is no one else to do it and he knew that if Gaius had not been there he would still have needed and received a hug.

He wanted to do the same for Arthur, everything would be all right, he wanted to hold him and let him know that he was worrying unnecessarily. A hug was what he needed right then but he suddenly felt shy and didn't know if Arthur was used to hugs. He decided upon something a little less enveloping.

Leaning in, he kissed him lightly on the lips. He then pulled back and said, "I think, I should leave to get back to Adam's. Thank you for a wonderful day...if you'd like…we could go out for lunch...tomorrow?" He nudged Arthur playfully.

Arthur felt his heart thumping, Merlin was interested in continuing this friendship. He turned to look at him and nodded. He felt Merlin's arm around his waist and his other hand on the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and this time responded timidly to Merlin's second kiss.

-0-0-

After walking Merlin back to the Underground, Arthur made his way across Tower Bridge and let himself into his condo. He's told Merlin to phone him to let him know that he'd arrived safely at Adam's. He decided to curl up on the couch and wait for his call. He looked out over the lights on the North Bank and turned on the eleven o'clock news.

He was wound up too tightly to sleep. He wait for Merlin's call before getting into bed. On one hand he knew he wouldn't sleep but on the other what happened if he dozed off and missed it. But he didn't and on the first ring, he answered, "You got home safely! I was worried about you at night."

His father's voice said, "A gentlemen sees his date to her door. I thought you had more manners than to let a lady travel by herself even if she is in a taxi. Anyway, I've been trying to get you all day. Why did you have your phone off? Up to no good I presume."

Arthur was able to say, "I was out with friends…"

"Well, next time keep the bloody phone on or at least answer my calls! You're off to Nairobi on Monday. Reynolds knows he's going…at least I was able to make contact with him today. Find out what's happening at Head Office. Their numbers are way down and from this end we can't find any cause. I'll see you tomorrow."

Arthur crossed his fingers and said almost apologetically "I'm busy until mid afternoon." He was cross with himself that his father made him behave subserviently.

"That's fine, come down to Throgmorton after whatever you've planned and spend the night. We can go over a few things here. Now, get to bed and don't forget to let Laurence know that he's going with you. Flight you're booked on is BA 65 just after 10 a.m., an early start as they want you at the airport by seven."

Arthur heard the phone go dead and realised his father had hung up, not unexpected really as when he was in business mode he was always curt and to the point. He realised that Merlin had yet to meet his father the business man, a very different person from the man who had invited him to supper.

He placed the phone on his lap and it rang almost immediately. "Been chatting with your girlfriends?" Merlin's voice said with a laugh.

"No, no one that interesting, just my father ordering me to go to Throgmorton tomorrow and then Nairobi on Monday."

There was a moment's pause before Merlin said, "I understand…we'll just put off lunch to another time."

Arthur said, "No, I told him I wouldn't be available till mid-afternoon! He accepted that so I am still free for lunch if you are still interested."

"I am! If you could stomach another session with me and my camera in London, I'd like to visit that 452 year old man's theatre."

Arthur twigged immediately and said, "That's a deal. Shakespeare it is! I'll meet you at the Blackfriars station at ten o'clock. I'm only eleven minutes away by Tube. We'll cross the Millennium Bridge, I always see lots of people stopping to take photos from there."

"I'll make you a photographer yet," Merlin said laughing.

Arthur would have quite happily kept talking but they were going to meet up again, so reluctantly he let Merlin go. "I'll phone you around nine in case there is a change of plans."

"There won't be, Arthur, Good night!"

Arthur thought, 'I'm going to be dragging tomorrow as I won't have got any sleep.' He stripped off and lay on his bed. He started to think again of what had happened that day.

-0-0-

 _Arthur follows the warden up the tower stairs and is handed over to someone else, a heavy set, hard looking, no nonsense gaoler. The place smells not only dank but of despair. It is poorly lit by intermittent torches on wall sconces. The corridor walls are punctuated by heavy wooden doors with small grills. Some of the cells have light inside them others seem to be in complete darkness. He mentions this to the man in front of him who says, "Them that can, buys candles…them that can't don't."_

 _Arthur feels that the man is not overly troubled by prisoners spending their days in the dark but why should he be? This was his livelihood and getting involved might lose him his position._

 _He is surprised when the man continues, "Some of them eats better than my family does at 'ome. Fancy visitors too, ladies with lavender bags to their noses and men in rich clothing. We 'ad a parson here who had shelves built for' is books no less. Lot of good it did 'im, 'is head came off 'is body as easy as all the others does._

" _You one of them fancy lawyers or somefing? You ain't no clergy man by the look of youse clothes." Arthur shakes his head. The guard continues, "We see lots of them 'ere, condemned men seeking God, my wife says it's a shame they didn't think of that before getting 'ere!"_

 _He stops and says, "This 'ere is cell 23 in Wakefield Tower." Arthur nods and slips the man a shilling. If Merlin is going to survive, he Arthur will need to pave the way with gold…well at least silver._

 _The man's attitude changes seeing the silver; realising that the prisoner has connections to money, he says, "If there's anything your friend needs, tell me. I know where I can lay my hands on blankets, candles, food…for a price that is."_

 _Arthur finds himself talking to the man as one might a tradesperson, "Thank you, whom may I ask for?"_

" _Tom Sledd, sir."_

" _Good, I will see you before I leave."_

 _The keys jangle as the door is unlocked and swings open. Arthur steps into the room, it is not as gloomy as expected as Merlin has a recessed window and it is sunny outside. Arthur finds the person he is looking for sitting on a cot. The room is fair sized with a fireplace which is devoid of any wood, a stool sits beside a rough table on which there is a pewter bowl, mug and spoon. There is a bucket in the corner of the room._

 _He places the bag he is carrying on the table and pulls out a bottle of wine, some dried meat and a freshly baked sweet loaf. "Sorry I couldn't bring more but I could only carry so much." He continues unpacking the bag and throws Merlin a heavy knitted sweater and a pair of thick socks._

 _Then says, "Well, you got yourself into a real pickle! But things are looking up as my father is meeting with the Captain of the Queen's Guard to further explain that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You've never caused any trouble and as far as a security risk against the royals that is all fabricated." Trying to lighten up the mood of the man on the bed, who hasn't yet raised his head, Arthur continues, "It is…isn't it, Merlin?"_

 _No response so he walks over to his friend and kneels before him lifting his chin and gasps in horror as he is staring into completely blood shot lifeless eyes. His face is blood stained. He waits for his heart to settle and then passes his hand in front of Merlin's eyes. His hand causes a draft and Merlin's eyelids quiver but no reaction from his eyes which are dead._

" _Merlin, can you hear me?" No answer and Arthur looks at Merlin's ears noticing traces of blood on his neck. He takes his head in his hands and turns it slowly both ears have been punctured. Who would have done this? There's not yet been a trial. Merlin had been picked up with a bunch of troublemakers, and packed off to the tower. Where are the others?_

 _Merlin seems conscious of hands on his face and turns to face the person touching him. A croaky voice whispers, "Arthur?"_

 _Arthur realises that speaking is useless, he cups Merlin's cheeks and lets his thumbs brush over them. He then leans forward and kisses him. He enfolds his friend in his arms and holds him close and Merlin picking up Arthur's scent starts to sob._


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8 : LONDON CALLING…**

… _and Merlin picking up Arthur_ _'_ _s scent starts to sob._

 _Time flies by and Arthur is standing with his father late one gloomy afternoon witnessing what they were unable to stop. His father receives special permission to be in an area reserved for family members and lawyers, distanced from the rabble._

 _Arthur pleads to accompany him. He isn't too sure that Merlin even realises what is happening as he is led to Tower Hill for a public execution. The spectators are already assembled but Arthur knows that neither their voices will be heard by him, nor their faces seen. He is the fifth in line and one by one they are led up the stairs forced to kneel and their heads are separated from their bodies. At each death, the crowd cheers and Arthur's blood runs cold._

 _He feels his father's arm across his shoulders as Merlin is forced to kneel. He neither fights nor pleads as many of the others have done. Arthur clearly hears him say, "Thee I love!" a second before the axe makes contact._

 _A clean cut on the first try! The executioner had done right by Merlin._

 _Arthur crumbles, feeling the cold bite of the axe on the back of his own neck and tries desperately to move out of its way but he can't…_

 _-0-0-_

He awoke in bed, wrestling with a sheet which was around his neck. It all came back to him and he cried for Merlin. Slowly his eyes opened and he saw the outline of his windows, his furniture, his open bedroom door and he realised it was a cruel dream formed somewhere in the recesses of his mind. What was wrong with him that he would dream vile things about Merlin?

He crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom. He now had a headache and took something. It was only four forty-five, so he decided to go back to lying on the bed but he wouldn't let himself fall asleep as he was scared of dreaming.

He came to around eight o'clock, a lot more composed with only an underlying feeling of fragility. Until he saw Merlin in the flesh, he knew that the feeling would prevail. He showered and got dressed, he threw a few things in his bag which he would need to take with him to Nairobi.

Laurence had answered the post which he'd sent him after he'd spoken to Merlin. He'd be at the airport tomorrow for the ten hour long flight.

He made himself coffee and turned on the TV, no news of great importance so he had a small bowl of cereal. He really wasn't hungry but was waiting for nine o'clock so he could phone Merlin.

Merlin picked up on the second ring. "Arthur, glad it's you as I've been up for ages sitting here waiting for your call."

"You could have called me."

"What and disturbed your beauty sleep?" Merlin said laughing.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, I have everything packed so when I return here. I can just run in grab my bag and go to King's Cross."

It dawned on Arthur that they would both be leaving London from the same station, St. Pancras/King's Cross. He would take the train to Ashford from St. Pancras and Merlin would be taking the train to Cambridge. He'd have only a small overnight bag but Merlin would have his bag and his camera case and tripod.

He had an idea; he opened his iPad and typed in 'London Undeground Map'. "Hang on!" he told Merlin. After about thirty seconds, he said, "What time is your train home?"

"I can get the 4:15 p.m. at King's Cross. Why?"

"Well, I can get the 4:30 at St. Pancras…why don't you bring your stuff here? You can see my place and get some overview photos from my balcony. That is…if you'd like too? We can then drop by here to pick up our bags before we go to the station together."

"It sounds good to me what time do you want me there?"

Arthur thought, 'Now!' but said, "Get the Tube to London Bridge and I'll meet you. Quickest way is Russell Square to St. Pancras and then the Northern Line, it's the Black Line south to London Bridge. We can then walk here."

"How long should it take?"

"Twenty-five minutes from the station to station."

"I have around a five minute walk to Russell Square."

"Are you ready to leave now?

"Yes…!"

"Let's say, all told, it should take you around thirty-five odd minutes. So I'll be outside the London Bridge station at…" he looked at his watch, "at 9:45. Don't worry if you're late, I'll wait until you arrive. Mind you, then you'll owe me big time."

Merlin chuckled, "How big?"

"A Costa, at least!"

"Sounds fair, I'm leaving in a few minutes. See you there!"

Merlin disconnected and shrugged his shoulders, he'd be able to spent more time with Arthur and see his condo and get more shots of the Tower of London and Tower Bridge. It was going to be a busy day but one he thought would be fun. He propped the thank-you note he'd written to Adam and Tim on the table, grabbed his bags and camera case, took one last look around and locked the door behind him, slipping the key back through the letter box. He was sure that he'd be back in London in the near future.

-0-0-

Arthur zipped up his bag and put it on the floor near the door.

He looked around to make sure the condo looked clean. He'd make his bed, checked his ensuite throwing his wet towels into the laundry hamper. The kitchen was clean with no dishes in the sink. The whole place would pass muster. He didn't want Merlin to think he was incapable of living by himself or that he was a slob.

They had so much to learn about each other. He knew that he could be sometimes untidy but he was on the whole in control of the situation.

He grabbed his coat and set out. As he passed the front desk, the concierge said, "Out early this morning, Mr. Pendragon! At least you've got a nice day for it."

Arthur nodded and smiled pleasantly. He walked out and turned left along London Bridge Walk, past Potters Fields Park and the new City Hall to the bridge, backtracking slightly to the Tube station. It had taken him eighteen minutes, now all he had to do was wait for Merlin.

Gawaine phoned him as he stood there and he'd told him, "Yes, we had a great time yesterday." He added that he was off to Nairobi for a couple of days and that he'd see him once he returned.

"…and bring me up to date on all the juicy bits from your weekend."

Arthur said that he wasn't promising anything.

"I can tell you're not at home by the traffic. What are you doing, standing on a street corner selling that gorgeous body of yours?"

Laughing, Arthur knew that he was blushing and said, "Surely, you know me better than that! But I really have to go…will try to phone you later this evening as I'll be at Throgmorton."

"I'm spending the day with my Gran in Sandling. How about you meet me at Ashford and we travel back to London together?"

"Can't as I've promised to stay over at Throgmorton."

"O.K., phone me when you can. Are you seeing Merlin today before he leaves?"

"Yes..."

"Say hi to him and remember Arthur don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Well, that leaves the field wide open… Bye, Gawaine!" He smiled to himself as he put the phone in his pocket. He hadn't long to wait as he saw Merlin coming through the door with his bags.

Suddenly, he felt shy but once Merlin smiled at him all the nervousness or butterflies in his stomach went away. He stepped forward and grabbed Merlin's bag and smiled back at him.

"No trouble getting here?"

"Well, I went to Holborn and had to backtrack one station to get going again in the right direction. My mother says that unless the sun is out I get lost. No sun in the underground so I'm at the mercy of transport signs. Some of which are very confusing," he confided making Arthur laugh.

There it was again that fleeting protective feeling that he should always go with Merlin if he ever considered going alone on the Tube. No worry now, as he would see him to his train and make sure he boarded before he left him this afternoon.

"Gawaine says to say hi! He phoned me from his Gran's wanting to meet up tonight but I explained that I'd be away and that I'd get back to him later." Arthur realised that he was babbling on just to fill the empty spaces in their conversation so he said, "This way, so we can walk along the river. It's not far."

Soon, they had reached the new City Hall and Merlin was again busy with his camera. "It's so modern, do they give tours of the place?"

"Yes, on week days, maybe next time," Arthur pointed out his building, Cambridge House in the background. "Come on, you can take some photos from upstairs."

Merlin was very impressed by the doorman and the concierge who greeted Arthur, the latter handing him an envelope, however it was the elevator opening directly into Arthur's own private hallway which really appealed to him. "But what happens if someone else uses the card they could also come in and..."

Arthur shook his head, "I have a card, maintenance can get a card and I can ask for a second card if I need one. The cards are strictly supervised, part of the security we pay for as owners."

Arthur opened his front door and dropped Merlin's bag next to his. He watched Merlin's face. He could see that he was shocked and drawn immediately to the windows overlooking the river.

Walking over, Arthur picked up the remote to open the blinds so Merlin would get a better view. He unlocked the glass door and slid it back, allowing the two of them to step out onto the extensive balcony.

"It's magnificent, Arthur, and you get to see it every day. Look I can see right over the walls into the Tower of London." He turned at Arthur, "Do you realise how lucky you are? I feel that I could reach out to touch Tower Bridge."

"Please don't, I couldn't live here if someone over-balanced off my balcony and landed below." He had wanted to add if _you_ got hurt but he hadn't.

"Come see the rest of the place." Arthur gave him a proper tour. Merlin's favourite room was the living area followed by one of the guest rooms, he didn't consider Arthur's bedroom as it was way beyond anything he had seen. The floor to ceiling windows, the huge bed, comfy chairs and an ensuite which would have had his mother in tears. The shower was so huge, he felt sure that four people could have easily fitted. The double sinks, the tub and separate toilet were plans he'd only seen on TV.

Arthur said in passing, "Double sinks and two walk-in wardrobes, obviously the builders expected a couple to live here." He glanced at Merlin who was exploring the guest bedroom, experimenting with the automatic window shades.

"This is a beautiful home, I will be so embarrassed to show you my rental space."

Arthur's heart flip-flopped, Merlin expected him to visit him in Cambridge. He said, "Merlin, I haven't always lived like this, the first place I shared with Gawaine was a dump so bad that when my father saw it, he insisted that we moved into a empty rental flat he had," he laughed, "…and he became our landlord!

"It was heaven, no smells from bad drains, no rats outside the building, no couples yelling and fighting or drunks trying to get in out of the rain. Honestly, at one point I was so scared in the old place that I sat on the toilet and cried.

"Gawaine was a rock, he tried to make light of everything but it finally got to him as well so we accepted my father's kind offer."

Merlin listened in shock that Arthur with all his family money should have experienced such an awful time. "But why didn't you tell your father how bad it was?"

"We were young and stupid, we wanted to show our families that we could cope on our own...but we proved to ourselves that we couldn't!" He grinned adding, "We only really got better accommodations when we were in University. I never imagined that I would live anywhere like this but I came to this building for a party once and was so taken with the place that I never forgot it and then," he added apologetically, "I had some money from my mother's estate and this seemed a good investment."

Merlin said, "Arthur, you and I obviously don't travel in the same circles socially. I have never been in such a wonderful flat. I almost feel as if I should be apologising for having set foot inside it. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have me come here."

"Don't ever feel like that, Merlin!" Arthur felt troubled, "Now, you've got me worried that you think that I am just showing off. It just made sense to me to drop your stuff off here so that later in the day, we could go to the station together instead of having to go our separate ways."

Merlin nodded, "It does make more sense as we can now spend more time together…", his voice petered out and he stopped dead looking down at his feet before added quietly, "Sorry, my mouth seems in control this morning."

Arthur looked at him standing there and threw all caution to the winds, he stepped forward and putting his hand under Merlin's chin lifted it up. "Merlin, that was exactly the reason why I thought we should leave our stuff here. I wanted this weekend to keep going until the last possible moment. You will be going back to Cambridge and I'll be out of the country for at least a week. And if I am telling the truth…I did want you to see this place, I wanted you to be here so that when I am here alone I can remember your being here."

Merlin went to say something but Arthur silenced him with a finger to his lips, "Come on, you're wasting the opportunity to take photos."

Arthur followed Merlin out to the balcony to point out the various views. Then followed the intermittent whirring of the camera as Merlin took various shots to see if he needed to repeat any.

He turned to Arthur saying, "Can I take photo of you against the bridge?" Arthur moved forward and stood looking into the distance, "…and one just for me," said Merlin as Arthur turned and smiled at him.

He started to put the lens cap back on his camera, "I'm so glad that you are comfortable having your photo taken, we had one chap at university who hated it to the point of putting his hand in front of his face just before each picture was taken. Strange really as he was a looker. Learned later that he went into modelling and that his photos was plastered all over the web," Merlin laughed adding, "Certainly, more scantily clad than we had ever seen him." He then seemed embarrassed and said quietly, "Sorry!"

Arthur grinned, he had a flash of Merlin clad in less that what he was wearing now. He knew he was blushing and hoped that Merlin hadn't noticed but he didn't seem to have as he said, "Come on, Arthur! Mr. Shakespeare is waiting for us." He held out his hand and Arthur grabbed it and they got into the lift, not letting go of each other's hands until they reached the ground floor.

-0-0-

As they walked towards Tower Bridge, Merlin was in his element. They had just passed the first tower when Arthur pulled out an envelope saying, "We're going in this way. We won't stay for the full tour but I want you to walk across the high level of the bridge."

Merlin was surprised to say the least. He hadn't even realised that visits were allowed, let alone that there was a walkway in the upper level of the bridge between the two towers. He was pleasantly shocked to find out that the upper level had a glass floor and by looking down he could see the tops of the cars and buses as they crossed the bridge below them on the main roadway.

He turned from his camera and grinned at Arthur, who grinned back putting his arm across his shoulders hugging him in an acceptable one armed man-hug, all the while wishing it was a real hug, a double-armed one. "I knew you'd like it," he said huskily, thinking that that was the best £20 he had ever spent. They could always come back at a later date to visit the whole exhibit if Merlin was interested.

They wasted no time on the rest of the tour but made their way out again and walked up to the Tube station.

Arthur explained that he wanted Merlin to approach the Globe from the North Bank so they were going to Blackfriars to get to the Millennium Bridge. Merlin said, "You are the best London guide, I happily put myself into your excellent hands."

Arthur just smiled but already the doubts were entering his mind. How would Merlin feel when he told him that this attraction to a man was completely new to him? Would he turn and run or look at him sadly and make his excuses and leave quietly? He needed to get the information out sooner than later but the opportunity had not yet arisen. Well, maybe he'd missed it when they had been sitting on the hill at Greenwich. He decided that before he saw Merlin off on the train, he would have explained his insecurities

-0-0-

The Millennium Bridge was a success especially looking back towards St. Paul's. Arthur had laughed as they had had to wait until there were fewer people as he wanted to get a people less shot which Arthur had by then gathering were Merlin's favourites. "Sometimes they detract from the architecture," he had said and then swiftly turned and taken a photo of Arthur as well.

With Merlin on the other end of the camera, Arthur was happy having him take as many photos as he wanted knowing that he would delete any which might cause embarrassment and send him any which he thought were worthwhile. He had smiled when he had opened his phone last night to a picture of himself with his lighted condo building in the background which Merlin had taken while they were standing at the wall.

Merlin had to stop mid bridge, to take photos of Tower Bridge, and The Tate Modern as well as shots of the old Battersea Power Plant with its four distinctive chimneys. Then he turned his sights to the Globe.

Merlin thought that it looked small as he had been prepared for something larger just as he had been surprised at Stonehenge. Mind you that hadn't lasted long as the closer he got to the Stones the larger and more important they became. He would have to ask Arthur if he had ever been there. He probably would have as it would have been a easy day trip from London.

They walked closer to the Globe with Merlin still clicking away. Arthur heard some older woman who had had to walk around Merlin say to her companion, "You know, I don't understand the need to take photographs as there are lots of really good pictures on the internet!"

'Old Cow!' Arthur thought and when her companion nodded saying with a sly grin that the majority of them were just compensating with their big lenses, or so she had heard! Her friend had laughed nastily and Arthur had muttered at them under his breath, "Mutton dressed as lamb!" and then felt guilty.

He had glanced at Merlin who was oblivious to either women and then he'd laughed at himself. There he was defending Merlin whom he was sure would have been quite capable of defending himself.

Yes, he decided if in his job he were capable of holding onto a fractious horse, he would have been capable of dealing with two small-minded women. Then he realised that Merlin was too kind to do anything to hurt anyone, mentally or physically. He would have smiled sweetly in their direction and ignored them. Yes…he would have given them the proverbial cold shoulder.

.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 : KISSES SENT AND CAUGHT**

They continued across the bridge to the Globe. They only queued for a few minutes and then were taken inside, he could tell by the look on Merlin's face that the interior impressed him. They stood where the groundlings watch the plays and glanced around, it really was impressive. The three storied balconies, the beautiful carvings in the roof over the stage were a photographer's heaven! The set was for the evening production of Henry lll.

The tour guide explained that the first Globe was built in 1599 then rebuilt after a fire in 1614. This present building was erected in 1997 by the American-born Sam Wanamaker, an actor and director. The Globe site also housed the candle-lit Sam Wanamaker Theatre which was opened in 2014 and resembles a seventeenth century Jacobean theatre.

Arthur found the tour excellent and was pleased that Merlin had enjoyed himself. "I've seen so many pictures of this but I have never actually been in the theatre until now. Thank you, Arthur, for the opportunity. I intend to persuade my mother to come to London again, as I know she would love this."

"Bring her as my guest, she can stay at the condo and we can show her all things we enjoyed seeing this weekend."

"She's be afraid of the glass walk in Tower Bridge," Merlin said with a laugh.

They made their way to the gift shop and Merlin got Gaius a Shakespeare Bath Duck, explaining to Arthur that his uncle could share it with his dog. Arthur laughed as it was certainly too cute to share with any dog. For his mother, he had chosen a silver ring, a copy of one which had been found in the excavations prior to building the new Globe.

Arthur bought his father nothing, knowing only to well that he would be critical of Arthur's wasting money. He left him paying his bill and walked outside glancing at his watch, it was already gone one o'clock. He was dying for a coffee. Merlin joined him and he mentioned that they could go to the little restaurant on the site if Merlin didn't mind the crowds.

"Let's go somewhere quieter…" he said as he took another photo of the roof line and flags.

Arthur decided to go to the restaurant where he had gone with Gawaine and his school friends when they had visited the Globe. It was next to Drake's Golden Hinde and Merlin would be able to take more pictures.

That was the right choice and after Merlin had taken photos to his heart's content, they found a table and sat down. Arthur had grinned at Merlin who had said, "Arthur, I promise you I don't always hide behind a camera."

Arthur laughed saying, "I hope not!"

Arthur had given him a few facts about The Golden Hinde replica but it was the restaurant which appealed to them both at the moment. He nodded at Merlin as he asked for a table in a quiet area and the owner recommended the section in the corner overlooking the ship.

"Beer, or coffee?" Arthur asked.

"I think I'd prefer a coffee…"

The waitress came over and they placed their drink and food order. Arthur adding an order of mini fish cakes with Merlin asking for sweet Thai sauce on the side if at all possible. Their choices were good and every time they caught each other's eyes they smiled.

They talked about all sorts of things, Arthur reminiscing of the school trip he had made to London with Gawaine and their friends and the fun that they'd had.

Merlin told him of a school trip to Edinburgh which ended with one of their group in police cells. "Not me, thankfully!" he added with a chuckle. "The rest of us eventually travelled back to school and Richard's parents had to bail him out and face the wrath of the headmaster before he was allowed back into school. Mind you, that escapade had taken him a few rungs up the ladder in the minds of most of the scholars. For year's after, whenever anyone said anything about Scotland someone was sure to say, 'Pre or post Richard?"

Merlin decided that Arthur was probably one of the more handsome blonds he had ever met. He also felt comfortable with him and felt little fear. This was a big step for him in dealing with someone he liked. He had no problems with his confreres at the university but he still had difficulty trusting men socially. He was always on guard in case someone came on too strong.

He smiled at Arthur, who had not raised any red flags as he'd asked for nothing in return for his friendship. Merlin felt quite at home with him even when he had been alone with him at his place. He sighed, he could really get to like this man.

One day, if the friendship continued he would have to tell Arthur about his misadventures with Neil whom he usually referred to as 'that man'. He realised now that he felt more comfortable with misadventures than terming it as sexual abuse and life threatening behaviour. Adam had helped him immensely but Merlin knew that he wasn't completely over it. For the longest time he felt that he had been irreparably damaged with no hope of a future. His confidence had been compromised and he had needed constant work at regaining it. He was still worried that he would never again be the person he had been. He sighed…

He was conscious of someone speaking to him and he snapped out of his reverie. Arthur was saying, "Earth to Merlin!"

He shook his head apologetically, "Sorry, I was miles away…"

"Hope it wasn't because of the company," Arthur had laughingly replied then turned serious as he said, "You seemed not only distracted but rather worried."

"Nothing to be worried about, just random inconsequential things that sometimes interrupt my train of thought." He thought to himself whenever had that time ever been considered random. 'Let it go,' he told himself, 'don't ruin a lovely day by letting _that man_ get the upper hand.'

Arthur checked his watch saying, "We really should be going back to my place for our bags as we have to leave there by three-fifteen." He'd rather be at the station a little early as he had no intention of arriving late and leaving Merlin waiting at the station for a later train while he went to get his.

He stood up, "I guess you do have a lot of things on your mind what with your job and all the students. By the way what are you planning to do over the holidays or do you have another term starting in the summer?"

He followed Arthur out the door and said, "No, this year I'll be free until September. Looking forward to a couple of months off, mind you I'll keep myself busy. I'll certainly be staying with my mother and then giving Gaius a hand and you know doing all the things you promised yourself you would if you ever got a few days off."

"Might that include another trip to London?" Arthur suggested with a slight smile.

"Maybe…if something or someone catches my interest!"

-0-0-

They walked along stopping for Merlin to take more photos of Norman Foster's City Hall. Arthur entertained him by telling him that when it was built it was referred to as a motorbike helmet and a deformed egg among others. However, it was the less flattering nicknames for the building that had stuck in people's minds. The former Mayor had referred to it as 'a glass testicle' and the current Mayor had called it The Onion.

Arthur had laughed as he had pointed to another Norman Foster designed building across the river, officially called 30 St. Mary Axe but known to everyone as The Gherkin. "We've the makings of an interesting meal between the two of them."

Merlin had said seriously, "One day, I really intend to tour both buildings. They look so interesting."

"Maybe during your summer holidays?" said Arthur over his shoulder as he walked along to his own building.

Once again Arthur was acknowledged by both the doorman and the concierge. Merlin said, "You can't get in here without anyone knowing."

"True but they would never reveal to anyone on the phone or even in person at the desk, as to whether or not I am on the premises, part of the security for flat owners. Mind you, I'd leave strict instructions that they would tell you…" Arthur said with a cheeky grin.

"Thanks! At least, that takes a weight off my shoulders!" replied Merlin equally seriously.

As they got into the lift, Arthur handed Merlin the plastic keycard and told him to insert it and punch in four specific numbers. "You shouldn't do that, Arthur, it's something that you should keep only to yourself."

"But I trust you!"

"Still it seems wrong!"

"Just go ahead and push the numbers will you, you'll have forgotten them in five minutes."

However, Merlin knew that his mind didn't work that way and the numbers 7363 would stay with him, "I have a very good memory for numbers, Arthur."

"Not to worry I will change them again. It's just a matter of going onto my computer." But Arthur had no intention of changing them, they were a secret link to Merlin and every time he used them, he'd think of him.

The lift stopped at Arthur's condo and walking across the small entry hall, he opened his front door. "How are we time wise?" Merlin asked.

"We've got about thirty minutes," he turned on the BBC and checked the headlines. He plunked himself on the sofa and patted the place beside him.

Merlin joined him saying, "Arthur, I've had a lovely weekend because of you. You were the best guide as you made everything so easy."

"You could have figured it out yourself."

"Maybe, but you were there to talk to the whole time. I've never felt time pass so quickly, I'd be happy to stay in London all week."

"Alone?" Arthur said turning his knee slightly towards Merlin's.

Merlin either didn't notice or wasn't bothered by it. "I could have done it alone, I'm sure I could but I would have been checking google and schedules the whole time and…" he paused before adding, "I would really have missed your company…!" He looked at Arthur with a slight smile on his face reminding Arthur of a puppy which had come bounding across the floor only to stop seeking permission before launching itself against his legs.

Arthur smiled, "I liked your company too. I'm sorry that I was so rude to you when I first met you. I was thrown off guard finding someone I didn't know with Heather and in a rather compromising situation at that."

"Yes," agreed Merlin, "Practically, flat on my face in a box stall with an assistant, both of us supervised by your father's stable manager!"

Arthur had had to laugh, before continuing more seriously, "…and then I was shocked when you came to supper and I could hardly put two words together. Gawaine twigged and that was why he invited you to supper after work on Friday. Thank God, he did. As I don't know that I would have been brave enough to phone you out of the blue or would just have waited until Gaius and your mother came for supper later in the summer. I'm not usually so indecisive about something but this is different. I'd really like to be friends but can understand if you have reservations. I know, this is only the fifth time we've met…"

"Keeping count are you, Arthur?" Merlin said.

"Only in the nicest way, if you are agreeable I would really like to see you again." Arthur shifted on the sofa and then realised how close their legs were, he went to move away but Merlin put a hand on his knee and left it there.

"I'd like to see you again as well. Would you like to come up to Cambridge one weekend…soon? I can't offer you a beautiful home like this," he glanced around, "but there are nice hotels in the area and we'd have my car to get around."

Arthur was a little disappointed that Merlin had mentioned a hotel but he knew that rushing into things, wasn't the best move. He face broke into a smile as he said, "I'd be honoured to travel up to Cambridge for a weekend."

"Me too!" said Merlin and leant in and kissed Arthur. The kiss lengthened until each of them had to break apart to breath and then Merlin looked embarrassed, "I told myself to wait for your to make the first move and I didn't…did I?"

"Well, you missed it by only a couple of seconds," Arthur said beaming before leaning in for another kiss. His watch pinged and he said, "Damn, that three ten. We should have come back here earlier…sorry I don't mean that, I mean…Merlin, I really don't know what I mean at this point."

"I do, I have a feeling we are going to possibly be a little more than friends one day," He said standing up.

Arthur said, "I need to go to the bathroom, I have a horror of station and train washrooms, unless it's an emergency. There is another one off the guest room." He turned and walked to his bedroom.

Merlin smiled to himself a man after his own heart, his mind flashed back to when he was little and ready to go out, his mother had always said, "Young man, before we go, have you been to the toilet?"

They picked up their bags and Merlin glanced once more at the living room. He wanted to be able to describe it to his mother. Kidding himself really, as he wanted to be able to envision Arthur in this room when he got home and all during next weeks until he got to see him again.

-0-0-

Arthur swung his bag strap on his left shoulder, leaving his right hand free so that he could slip his fingers into Merlin's hand, he felt the corresponding squeeze and squeezed back. Merlin had to stop and take a photo from the roadway up to the corridor between the two towers and the glass walkway. Maybe, not the best shot but another one to add to his memories of London. He slipped his hand back into Arthur's and they continued on their way.

They reached the station and made their way to Merlin's platform. Arthur offered to get him a coffee but Merlin refused saying that if he wanted one, he could get one on the train.

The train was announced and it drew into the station. Merlin turned and gave Arthur a smile and a prolonged hug, holding him for maybe a few more seconds than was normally acceptable between two men allowing Arthur to say quietly, "Phone me when you get home or I will worry all night!"

Merlin gave him a peck on the cheek. Hitching his bag on his shoulder, he got on the train, occupying a window seat. Nodding at Arthur and since he was standing alone, he grinned and nonchalantly blew him a kiss.

Arthur was left on the platform laughing out loud as the train pulled away. "Cheeky minx!" He said and turned to go to Platform 12, where he'd get the fastest train that stopped at Ashford.

His train was boarding so he found his seat and sat back, smiling to himself when he thought about Merlin's kiss. He was so spontaneous that was something he liked about him. His mind was buzzing and he went over the things they'd done earlier in the day. Finally, the train pulled away and he had just over a half hour to get himself into business mode for his meeting with his father once he get home.

The family had always considered Throgmorton Manor home and their London or Edinburgh houses as just residences for when they were in those cities. Arthur had pleasant memories of growing up there, entertaining his schoolmates and just generally running wild unless they had business guests when his life became more disciplined.

His father had never minded having extra boys around as long as they stayed out of his way. Any high jinks they got up to where usually covered up by Mrs. Burns and her staff. Mr. Burns whom Arthur called Major Dromo after a stay in Italy, was the head of the household staff and responsible for running the place but everyone knew that Mrs. Burns was highly involved in daily operation of the manor. However, it was Dromo as Arthur and his friends called him who laid down the law if they got overly rowdy.

He wondered what Mrs. Burns would think of Merlin, he hoped that she liked him. She was an important person in his life and in private, he called her Peggy. Often, during the school year it was Peggy and Dromo who came to his school for various events as his father had always been too busy.

Of course, Gawaine who was a frequent visitor also starting calling Mrs. Burns Peggy. Arthur had apologised saying that Gawaine wasn't being rude he just liked her. Within a couple of years, Peggy it was to all Arthur's friends. She was quite happy as she had never had a family and she looked upon Arthur and his closest friends as her children.

One young lad had called her Mrs. Pendragon much to her embarrassment and Dromo' amusement. She had explained that she was Mrs Burns, the Pendragon's housekeeper, the boy was surprised as he later told Gawaine, "I thought that Peggy was Arthur's mother. She acts like a mother towards him."

Gawaine passed the information on to Arthur who realised that if it came down to it, Peggy was the mother he'd never had. He loved her and in later years, he was to bequeath to her and Dromo their own home on the Throgmorton Manor property.

Arthur had been reminiscing and he came to as the train pulled into Ashford Domestic. Dromo had a car waiting and he was whisked off home.

-0-0-

"Have I missed anything important?" He asked as they left the station.

"Not really Peggy's mother is here for a few days and Mr. Pendragon only came down on Friday. Supper is at seven sharp!" Arthur laughed as Dromo liked things organised and his father found this one of the man's better traits. "The thatch had been repaired on the East wing and your father told me to tell you that you will be leaving for your flat at five o'clock tomorrow morning to pick up your luggage and then to be driven on to Heathrow, that car will also pick up your PA."

Arthur laughed, "My whole life had been planned out for me!"

"As it should be, Sir!" said Dromo with a wink.

They continued on in silence. Arthur was happy to see the gates and the drive leading up to the original tudor house with various additions which had been brought together sympathetically over the years. As they pulled to a stop, a couple of Mastiffs and Peggy's whippet rushed for the door and Arthur stepped out to be greeting by the canine welcoming committee.

"How they know when it's you, I don't understand? They never do that when you father drives up, they just stand wagging their tails not making a sound. He turned to the dogs saying, "That's enough now! I know that Arthur is here and he's very happy to see all of you."

Arthur smiled making a fuss of the dogs, "Well, I like it as it is a lovely welcome home!"

Peggy had joined the group near the car and Arthur had hugged her. "How is your mother, doing well, I hope?"

"She is, Arthur, not as energetic as she used to be but still up to putting the fear of God into the rest of the staff."

Arthur laughed, "She always reminded me of a boarding school Matron, good in dealing with boys, however not putting up with any of their silliness."

He walked toward the door and Dromo insisted on taking his overnight bag, "I'd go right in to see your father. He was in the library when I left. Kitty has made some of your favourite snacks just in case you're hungry."

Hungry he wasn't, he really just wanted to go to his room and have time by himself to think of this past weekend, however he knew that Dromo's suggestion to join his father was the result of his father probably saying, "Collect Arthur from the station, then tell him that I want to see him as soon as he arrives!"

He left Dromo carrying his bag upstairs and made his way to the library. It was a beautiful designed room and the collection of first editions made it more interesting. His father was near the fire and he walked over, a cat which had been sitting on the hearth, stood up and curled itself around Arthur's legs as he walked. He bent down to it, "Mr. Mistoffelees, good to see you!"

"Stupid name for a cat. Better he had been called Tom!" grunted his father.

The cat an Abyssinian, gave his father a glare and with its tail held high, stalked out of the room.

"Now, you've hurt his feelings," Arthur said, before adding, "…and how are you today, Father?"


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 : HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD**

Arthur spent the next two hours with his Father as he was brought up to date on the problems and possible solutions for their Kenyan consortium. He finished by saying, "Don't exhaust yourself, they only need to see that we acknowledge that they have a problem and that unless they pick up their end...we'll pull out. Not what I want to do, however I will…no question about that!"

His father stood up and said, "I've decided to eat in my rooms. I'll see you when you return. Have a safe trip, Goodnight!"

Arthur looked at his watch, it was almost seven and he felt hungry. He decided to go down to the kitchens to let them know that he would be quite happy to eat upstairs in his own rooms. "Just send my meal up on a tray. I can manage nicely," he told Kitty.

He had the east wing, second floor. It was larger than his London place and had a small private dining room where he could entertain as well as three en-suite guest rooms. He had to acknowledge that the architect employed to renovate the old rooms had done wonders. His room looked over the fields and in the distance was Manor Farm and the manor stables.

He went via the back staircase which was full of memories, from hide 'n' seek games with his school mates to fumbling as a teenager with the fairer sex during house parties.

He grabbed his phone, which out of respect for his father, he had slipped into his bag before Dromo took it upstairs. Any notes, he'd taken had been on his iPad.

There was one text from Merlin about an hour ago to say that he'd arrived home and had picked up a pizza and had already started to check his photos.

Arthur grinned, and phoned him, "Just finished with my Father and waiting for supper. How was your trip?"

"Uneventful actually, sat next to a family returning from London, the boys were quite amusing having decided that they would both move there once they had finished school. Their mother just shook her head as one was nine and the other eleven. The nine year old kept assuring her that he would still visit her and his dad but he was convinced that he would be able to get a job working on the London Eye. They helped make the trip go faster. How about you?"

"Like yours, uneventful! No kids to entertain me, just kept seeing your face blowing me a kiss. If I had been a girl, I'm sure that I would have been twirling on the platform."

"Sure, but were you able to catch the kiss? It was magic so it can go through glass."

Arthur joined the game by saying, "I did, I put it in my pocket and will let it lose in my room, before I get into bed tonight."

"Which direction do you face when you sleep? I face the East, the sunrise and start of a new day."

"Me too...I'll think of you when I open my eyes tomorrow morning. Hold on a second!"

Merlin could hear Arthur talking to someone and then saying, 'Thank you, no breakfast maybe just a cup of coffee.' Silence and then, 'Goodnight!'

Arthur came back to his phone. "Supper is here. Talk to me while I eat. Have you finished yours?"

"Yes, just got a some pepsi left." There was a pause and then Merlin continued, "We had fun didn't we? The photos are really great. I'll keep sending you the ones that I think you'll like. When you come here you'll be able to see them all on the computer or TV if you prefer."

Arthur smiled, once again Merlin was referring to his going to Cambridge. "I won't be back in the country before at the earliest next weekend, maybe even longer if we can't fix the problem." Feeling confident, he added with a slight laugh, "Can you wait that long?"

There was a pause before Merlin said, "What, I won't hear from you for seven days?"

"No, I meant I won't be able to see you in person. I'll phone and possible Skype but that depends on the time difference." He put on a more serious voice saying, "Yes, Mr. Department Head, I understand you and your staff want to meet now; however you will just have to wait until I Skype my friend." He heard Merlin laugh and he also laughed as he added, "You don't know me, when I make up my mind that I want something, neither hell nor high-water can stop me. So the poor man, wouldn't have stood a chance!"

Merlin was laughing, "Can't see that happening! Anyway it's only a two hour difference."

"Been checking up on it, have you?"

"No, I remembered seeing the meridian lines at Greenwich and things like that stick in my mind."

"We had a fun time didn't we? Best trip I've ever had there and I must have been there at least a dozen times." He heard Merlin laugh so added, "Well at least four times including our visit."

"How long is your flight?"

"Ten hours!"

"God, that's an eternity! What will you do for that long?"

"Sleep, eat and make merry. Well, maybe not the make merry part but I'll watch a couple of movies if there is anything worth watching. I can also go over with Reynolds and Laurence what my father told me this evening. Don't worry, the time will pass eventually."

Merlin said softly, "Will you think of me?"

Arthur could feel himself getting hot around the collar, he wished he was with Merlin instead of eighty miles away. It was so easy when they were face to face but over the phone words could sound stilted. "Yes, if you would like me to. To tell the truth, Merlin, I have done nothing else since Friday after work. Well, if I told the truth it would be closer to when you came for supper."

"Arthur, it was only a coincidence that I was called in when the mare was foaling. If Gauis hadn't been away, we would never have met."

"Don't say that, maybe at some point we would have bumped into each other in our wanderings."

"Well, if I was ever going to bump into someone as you say, I would have loved it to have been you!"

"You don't know how hard it was to let your train leave the station, there I was with a kiss in one hand," he heard Merlin snigger, "...and all I wanted to do was to grab the door and make the train come to a halt."

"Don't think the station master would have appreciated that as they do run on a tight schedule. I don't think I was even conscious of where I was until we were near Harlow. I could still see you, life can be very sad sometimes."

"Merlin, it wasn't sad, I was happy that I felt that way about someone, I don't think I've ever contemplated stopping a train before. We've only just met, we have years to learn about each other and continue our friendship, if that is what it is?"

"I hope it's going to grow into something a little more special," Merlin said with a little sigh.

"Me too, I'd like to kidnap you and keep you all to myself…" Arthur waited but there was silence from Merlin. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm not crazy I don't go around stalking people and I would only kidnap you if you came willingly," he laughed at his little joke but Merlin remained silent.

Finally Merlin spoke, "Sorry, my mind was miles away. I really should think of turning in, as I have the unenviable task of telling a student that we don't think she's cut out to continue her studies in Veterinary Medicine. Not the best way to start a week. When will I hear from you?"

"Well, not tomorrow as by the time I get to the hotel, I'll be dead to the world. Say we talk on Tuesday around eight in the evening London time. If for some reason I have an evening appointment, I'll leave you a text earlier in the day and we'll talk later at night, all right?"

"Arthur, will you do me a favour?"

"Anything for you…!"

"Blow me a kiss, I'll catch it and let it spend the night with me in my bedroom…"

Arthur laughed delighted, "Are you ready?"

"Yes!"

"Well, here it comes…mwah!" He made a smooching sound and then laughed.

Merlin said, "Got it! I promise that I will phone you everyday! Sleep tight, Arthur, and God Bless!"

"God Bless, Merlin!"

Then the line went dead.

-0-0-

Arthur's flight was uneventful and he spent Tuesday meeting the people of importance in the financial department. He was free by late afternoon and the three of them decided to eat early and then turn in. Reynolds and Laurence decided to have a drink in one of the hotel bars, however Arthur wanted nothing more than to get to his room and call Merlin.

Unable to get an answer at seven o'clock London time, he waited until eight and then phoned regularly until it was ten thirty in Cambridge. No answer, he had even called through the hotel switchboard in case his cell wasn't working. Nothing, he finally lay on the bed wondering if Merlin had had a change of heart and didn't want to talk to him. He decided to try again around nine-thirty in the morning his time, surely Merlin would still be home.

He hadn't slept well, he'd tossed and turned and woke up with headache. He had a shower and wrapping himself in one of the hotel bathrobes, sat looking out the window. He made himself a cup of coffee, which was disgusting and decided to get dressed. Their first appointment was for ten thirty so he had time to phone Merlin beforehand.

The first call produced nothing as did the second and the third.

Laurence noticed that he looked frazzled, "You all right, Arthur?" he asked.

"Yes, just trying to get someone at home and can't reach them. I'll try later on." Arthur deliberately put Merlin out of his mind and tried to concentrate on the task at hand. The lack of leadership in the department was obvious. The staff were foundering in their respective jobs, no cohesion and very little work was being accomplished.

Reynolds and Arthur had a meeting and came to the conclusion that they needed to find someone capable of leading the group. They set up interviews and finally found four likely candidates. One chap had the experience needed even though he had recently transferred from Chicago for a three year stint in Kenya. They decided to go to the Board and ask to have him named as Deputy Head. If he worked out fine he would be upgraded to Department Head, if not, at least the department would run smoothly for the next little while.

They left the department that afternoon a happier place as people seemed to have confidence in the new man and were working together well.

-0-0-

During the day, he had received no personal texts from Merlin. Where was he and why hadn't he at least sent a text explaining why he hadn't phoned last night?

Arthur couldn't figure it out. They had been fine on the phone on Sunday. Had he inadvertently said something to put him off? He was sure if he had it was minor as Merlin seemed still quite happy when they each hung up.

He regretted so much being in Kenya at least if he were in England he could take time to go to Cambridge and find out why Merlin was ignoring him. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself, it could be a malfunctioning phone, no cell service...a hundred innocuous reasons why a call hadn't come through.

Tonight, he would try again, however this time less often. If Merlin was seeing his continual calls he might figure he was desperate…well, maybe he was but he didn't want him to know that just yet.

He was scared that when he told Merlin of his past relationships, short though they were, that he would shrug his shoulders and walk away. He needed to gain his respect before he tried to explain how he had just fallen into having sex with girls and how he had never really loved any of them. They were not unlike props which he had on his arm when he was socialising. He preferred going out with the guys but sometimes for appearance sake he needed a woman as a date.

He was good friends with some women whom he believed saw his sexuality as uncomplicated and they trusted him. He had never forced himself on a woman or expected sex. If it happened it was usually their idea and like any full blooded man and a gentleman he would agree.

It wasn't until he met Merlin that he realised there had been something missing in his life, a spark which seemed to ignite his whole being. He'd felt alive and now, he was heart-broken as it looked as if all his hopes were dashed.

Once he got back to the hotel, he tried again to phone Merlin. The phone rang but was unanswered. The three of them went out to supper and had a good time. Laurence was easy to be with, a bit like Gawaine but not outrageously so. Reynolds, whose name was actually Paul was happily married with eight year old twins, a boy and a girl who ran both his wife and he ragged. He had the other two laughing about their escapades.

Arthur was upbeat when he returned to his room, surely now, he would be able to reach Merlin. He said, "Please, God, let him be there!" He pushed the auto dial and waited. The phone rang four times and then Merlin picked up.

Arthur said, "Thank goodness, you're there. I was worried. How are you?"

There was silence but Arthur could pick up muffled sounds. He tried again, "Merlin, it's me Arthur! Please, don't play games, you've had me worried for the last two days."

He waited getting more anxious with each second. What was going on? His mind was running wild, had Merlin met someone at the University and didn't want to be bothered with him…?

He tried again with something non-challenging, "How's the weather been? It's really hot here. Looks like I may be home by a week today." He waited nothing, he held the phone for a good five minutes as the connection was still open on Merlin's end.

Finally he said, "Merlin, if you don't want to continue our friendship, just tell me…" he let his voice lighten, "Gawaine says that I'm a big boy now, quite capable of facing disappointments." He hoped for a snicker or a laugh but nothing.

He felt his voice breaking as he said, "Please don't...He never finished the rest of his sentence as the phone was disconnected. It was not a phone running out of power, it was a distinct cut off.

He sat in shock. Why had Merlin pulled that stunt? It wasn't funny! He was cross…that was it, he wouldn't try again but deep down he knew he would. He wasn't ready to give up on Merlin yet!

-0-0-

Surprisingly, Merlin had had a good day on Monday even with having to tell a student that she was not really suited for the courses she was taking. Asked why she had enrolled for veterinary medicine, she had said that she liked animals and that both her parents were vets.

They parted amicably with his agreeing that she might continue the year so as not to lose any credits but that she should over the summer reconsider her options or maybe take a gap year.

He knew that he wouldn't be hearing from Arthur that night so went out with some friends from his department whom he'd known for years. They had supper at The Waddling Duck and sat around drinking.

"So, how was your London jaunt?" one of the chaps, Terry asked him.

"Pretty good, took lots of photos and the people I was with were amusing. Really enjoyed myself, saw another side of London in much more depth. Train ride was great, no delays. All in all it was a good break from here."

Merlin smiled and reached for his beer, however stopping dead as Terry laughed saying, "Guess you deserved the break…did you get laid?"

Merlin's closest friend Nick, gave Terry a swift kick under the table, causing him to say, "What was that for?"

They all knew about Merlin's being abused by Dr. Neil Carvers and had been protective of him ever since. Merlin stood up and without looking at anyone, said, "Think I'm ready to call it a night!"

"Me too!" said Nick standing.

Merlin said testily, "Stay here! I don't think I need a babysitter to see me home…" He left by himself, nodding at the bartender on his way out.

Nick turned on Terry, "Are you some fuckin' idiot? Why would you say that? He's had a hard enough time of it."

"Well, he should just face facts that bad things happen and get on with his pathetic life! No need to spoil everyone else's time by lording it over us that he was abused."

"He doesn't!" insisted one of the others, "He keeps things like that to himself…you were well off course, Man!"

Their voices became raised as the others jumped in wanted to add their pennyworth. Realising that things were getting out of hand at their table, the bartender came over just in time to catch Nick's arm as he aimed a punch at Terry's face. "Think you, Gentlemen, have had enough for tonight! Go home and cool down!"

Nick stood and glowered once more at Terry and left the pub. Merlin had been through a lot and Nick as his friend had seen it first hand. It had taken a lot out of him to return to his teaching position while it was in the courts and in the papers. Nick knew he'd suffered badly and had hardly recognised him when he had first seen him afterwards.

He hated Neil with a passion and was relieved that he had left Cambridge. He decided that he'd give Merlin time to get over Terry's remark and check up on him the following day.

-0-0-

Merlin arrived home, not really remembering the drive back. He parked his car and sat there. He thought to himself, 'Am I ever going to get completely away from that time in my life?' Probably, Terry hadn't meant anything more than what he considered a harmless remark but the whole Neil thing was weighing heavily on his mind as he had yet to tell Arthur about it. He needed him to hear it directly from him not just relying on any rumours which were still flying around. He wanted to be the one to tell Arthur of the mess he'd made of things.

He took his key out of the ignition, got out locking the car door. Walking across the road, he let himself into the house, taking the stairs two at a time. He needed to get to his flat and lock the door behind him. He needed familiar surroundings as his mind was all over the place.

He unlocked his door and went to step over the threshold when something caught him mid-shin causing him to fall forward, his knees hit the floor and he felt a crack across the back of his head and everything went black…


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11 : VANISHED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH**

Arthur was worried, all he could remember was Merlin's waving, grinning at him from the train. He phoned twice Thursday before he went to work but no one answered. It was early, Merlin wouldn't have yet left for the university.

He finally phoned Gawaine that evening mentioning what had happened since Sunday, asking him if he remembered the address where they had dropped off Merlin on the Friday night. If so, could he get him the phone number for that house…anything even the name of the owner.

Gawaine vaguely remembered the road and after some further checking even to driving over there to be certain of the house number, got back late in the evening, to say that it was owned by a Dr. Adam Calderwood. Gawaine tried to convince Arthur that maybe Merlin was really busy with course preparations or something but Arthur was not convinced. He had a sick feeling in his stomach which he knew would only go away when he heard Merlin's voice.

When around ten on Friday morning Arthur phoned Adam, he wasn't in but his partner Tim answered,"Yes, this is Dr. Calderwood's residence but he's at his office. To whom am I speaking?"

Arthur introduced himself and apologised for phoning but explained that he was a friend of Merlin and had been unable to get in touch with him for four days. "Last time we spoke was Sunday night and Merlin had promised to call on Tuesday. I haven't heard from him and it's now Friday."

Tim realised that this was the person whom Merlin must have been visiting in London. He made a decision, saying, "I think you had better speak with Adam directly." He gave Arthur his partner's cell number. "Should you need to leave a message, tell him immediately, it's about Merlin. That's the best I can do right now. If I speak to him before you do, I'll have him contact you."

Arthur said, "I'm in Nairobi at the moment but this is sort of important so ask him to phone regardless of the time difference." Arthur also gave him his room number at the Fairmont Norfolk.

"Don't worry, Arthur, I'm sure it's just a matter of missed calls. How's Nairobi? I interned at AKU's Heart Institute in the late eighties."

"That's some university hospital! As to Nairobi, it's bloody hot, crowded and beautiful all at the same time," Arthur said with a laugh.

-0-0-

As Arthur couldn't reach Adam on his cell, he figured he was probably with a patient. Doing as Tim had suggested, he left a detailed message asking Adam to phone as soon as he could. He also left the hotel number and the time difference.

He'd spoken to Tim around ten and he kept checking his watch. It was a Friday, Adam surely should have finished by four o'clock. He should've been able to reach him by now. He tried to concentrate on the job at hand but his need to speak to Merlin was uppermost in his thoughts.

He had hoped to skip supper but Laurence was most insistent that they went out. He had received a call from Gawaine telling him not to allow Arthur to spend all his free time in his hotel room and if necessary drag him to things. Laurence did just that, suggesting that they attend a cultural event at one of the art centres. It was directed towards the tourists and Arthur knowing that it was both Paul's and his first time on the African continent, had agreed to go, realising he'd been rather remiss not showing them around Nairobi.

-0-0-

Finally around ten at night, his phone rang. He answered immediately, "Hello?"

"Arthur? This is Adam. I received your call but wasn't able to do much about it until about an hour ago." He paused then added, "I tried Merlin's number and there was no response. I checked with my contact at the college and they had been notified that he was sick and would not be in until Monday. They were however unable to trace the caller. Have you had any contact with him since this morning?"

"No! Nothing…at one point when I called the phone was busy but almost immediately after it was ringing but not answered. Could just have been someone else trying to reach him. I don't understand as he was quite specific that he would talk to me on Tuesday and then nothing…"

"How was Merlin when you last saw him?"

Arthur blushed not that Adam could see him. "He was in fine spirits. We'd had a great day and were making plans for when I got back from Nairobi. It was supposed to be today but my trip has been extended by one week."

"Are the two of you romantically involved?"

Arthur hesitated thinking what did that have to do with this man? He wished so much that he could have answered, 'Yes!' Had this man been involved with Merlin at some time? Did speaking about Merlin in some way satisfy some dormant feelings? However, he wanted to get to the bottom of the situation with Merlin's unanswered phone calls so he said with some reluctance, "No, not really, we haven't known each other long…I had hoped that we might have something in common and become involved." He could kick himself, why was he telling a stranger what was no one else's business but his and Merlin's.

"Arthur, I have known Merlin for a long time, we were in the same school even though I was a few years ahead of him. I would hate to see him unnecessarily upset. Is it possible that he didn't have the same feeling about your friendship?"

Seeing in his mind's eyes, Merlin's blowing him a kiss, Arthur was pretty sure that the feelings he had for Merlin were mutual. He got annoyed and said, "I really don't know that that is any of your business. I turned to you because I knew that Merlin had stayed at your flat while he was in London and had said some nice things to say about you and Tim. I'm sorry, if I have wasted your time!"

Arthur disconnected only to feel worse than he had while Adam was quizzing him. He should have stayed connected as at least Adam was a link to Merlin. He didn't like being rude so he'd apologise when he met Adam face to face. He put his head in his hands, he was beginning to get a headache above his right eye.

The phone rang and he automatically grabbed for it. He said nothing waiting for the person to identify himself, hoping beyond hope that it was Merlin.

It wasn't!

He heard Adam's voice and made a decision to hear him out as he felt that maybe hanging up on him had been juvenile and the fact that he had gone to the trouble of contacting him again probably meant that he was worried as well.

"Arthur?" Arthur recognised Adam's voice. "I'm sorry, Tim says that I should apologise for the embarrassing personal questions. I am by profession a psychotherapist and Merlin was my patient." His voice softened and he said, "I am sure that before you get any more involved Merlin will tell you what happened to him a couple of years ago. It was through a relative of his that I began to work with him, he was more at ease with someone he knew than a complete stranger."

His voice lightened as he said, "Merlin has come a long way, however there is always chance of a relapse. I'd be surprised if that is the situation and there is no need to be afraid that Merlin is capable of doing anything dangerous or stupid. Nonetheless, I don't think it is my place at the moment to give you his medical background, patient confidentiality and all that… Suffice it to say, that I can only thank you for bringing this situation to my attention.

"Tim and I are going to Cambridge tomorrow as I have a key to his apartment. I spoke to his landlady and he hasn't been in his flat since the beginning of the week. However, we're going hoping that something will come up that will give me a clue as to why he isn't answering his phone. I'm hoping that he is maybe staying with some of his friends and has lost his phone but I wasn't happy to hear in your message that it had been answered on Wednesday evening and no one had spoken. I worry there are chances he is not responding because something has happened. I have his uncle's number and could maybe reach him that way."

"Is that his Uncle Gaius?"

"Yes! If I phone Gaius would he know you?"

"Yes, I've known him for years. He's a friend of the family as well as being my father's preferred vet. Merlin came to our place in Sussex with Gaius a few weeks ago. I didn't like to phone him as I didn't want to worry him or Merlin's mother." Arthur sighed adding, "I still can't believe it was five days ago that I left him on the train to Cambridge. We spoke that evening. He was in great spirits as we planned to meet in Cambridge once I got back.

"Adam, if I am wasting your time being paranoid, please forgive me but...I'm worried." There was silence on the other end of the phone and Arthur continued. "I am sorry if I'm being a nuisance...however, he doesn't seem to be the type of person who would just forget to phone."

Adam said levelly, "I understand you're worried. This behaviour also strikes me as a little odd. Nevertheless, Tim and I will try our best to find out what happened." Arthur could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "Arthur, when I find him, I will tell him you are worried and that you'd like him to get in touch with you. That will be the first thing I'll tell him."

However, it wasn't!

-0-0-

Arthur felt a little better, he checked the air-conditioner and threw himself on the bed. He grabbed his phone and made notes of everything that he could remember Adam saying. Obviously, Merlin had had some crisis in his life. Maybe he was married with a family… Arthur smiled, 'No way!'

That might have happened in his own life if he had kept going the way he had been. An attractive wife, a lovely house possibly kids but there would have been no excitement or profound love in the marriage. It would probably, have more likely resembled a business venture with two partners living almost separate lives. He was sure that the two sets of grandparents would have been ecstatic but would the principals?

Meeting Merlin had awoken something which was lying hidden and once he had acknowledged it, so many things made much more sense.

He rolled off the bed and stood by the window looking out over the hotel's gardens. He felt slightly better as he had shared his problem with someone in the UK who seemed as determined as he was to get to the bottom of this telephone mystery.

He sat in bed with his computer on his lap, searching for something that he could do with Laurence and Paul the following day and decided a visit to the Nairobi National Park might suit everyone. What was a trip to Africa without seeing animals in the wild? On previous trips with his father, he had visited both the Serengeti in Tanzania and the Kruger National Park in South Africa. Now it was his turn on a smaller scale to let people see the wonders of the continent.

His mind jumped to Merlin who would have been in his element photographing animals. For a second he felt sad but then he made a promise to himself that he would one day bring Merlin to Africa. Especially to Nairobi where he could take shots of giraffes and zebras silhouetted against the Capitol's city's distant skyline.

He fell asleep having crazy dreams of missing flats, veterinary clinics specialising in lions and hippos and Merlin managing a hotel.

The following morning, his announcement that he had arranged a tour of the Nairobi Park was met with enthusiasm. They did enjoy themselves and it helped Arthur from continually worrying about Merlin. Adam was there by now and he would know what to do. He really expected to hear from Merlin that evening.

-0-0-

Merlin came to; it was still dark and from habit he rolled onto his right side to try to get back to sleep. He was slowly conscious that his body was sore. He recognised the feeling and sat bolt upright causing himself more pain. Sitting like that, he realised that he was tangled in the sheets and he tried to shift himself to release them but soon felt nauseous as he realised that his right arm was tied to the bedstead. He couldn't remember and then he did...

He'd been in a hurry to get home, running up the stairs two at a time to his flat. He'd opened his door and rushed to get inside, something had been stretched across the threshold around shin level. He'd overbalanced and he must have hit his head. But then he remembered the sequence, he had fallen forward landing on his knees and something had hit him hard in the back of the head.

With his left hand he touched the back of his head gingerly, it was sore and swollen. It was dark wherever he was, yet it felt familiar. Not the bed or the room exactly but the extraneous sounds he was able to pick up, the hum of traffic, the sounds of the buses as they ground to a halt before leaving and more comforting the sounds of the bells from Kings' College. He was still in the area where he lived.

There was a window, by its height in the room he decided he was probably in a cellar. He gave his arm another sharp pull but to no avail, he was a captive.

His mind took off racing to explain why he was being held. He didn't have any enemies, actually he got on well with everyone, was someone playing a joke? He said tentatively out load, "OK, you got me but this isn't funny anymore!" Nothing…his words seemed to be bouncing back to him. He decided the space was unfurnished with no soft furnishings to muffle his voice. Whoever had done this wasn't being the least bit funny!

In the innermost depths of his mind, a seed was flourishing, something which was too awful to be believed or even contemplated. He tried to ignore it but the roots had taken hold and he couldn't shake it.

He thought that if he could get away, he'd still be able to phone Arthur tomorrow evening. He wouldn't bother him with this silly situation, he just needed to hear that he was enjoying himself in Africa. The idea of the warmth there, made him realise that he was cold, not chilled to the bone but just uncomfortable. It was then he realised that his arms were naked, he slipped his hand under the sheet and confirmed that he was wearing nothing, well maybe only his socks.

He decided that he would work at releasing his hand, he could feel the material holding it. If he worked at it, surely he could work it loose, find his clothes and get back to his flat wherever that was. His followed the loop of material and as his left fingers reached his wrist, it was then that he knew that he was not secured by ropes or material but a chain and what felt like a handcuff wrapped in cloth.

Lifting his left hand in the dark, he found his right wrist and was surprised to feel that he had a good length of chain attached. He swung his legs off the bed wincing as he did so and placed his feet on the cold floor. He could sit upright and putting pressure on his legs, he managed to stand. He would not allow himself to think of the pain as he was not yet ready to accept what he knew had happened. He stretched his legs conscious of some discomfort across his shins; holding his left arm in front of him, he cautiously took a step and then another forward until he reached the end of the tether. He figured he could get around six feet from the bed.

He was cold and decided to return to the bed and try to warm up but remain in a semi-upright position to work on whatever was tethering him.

With the coming of daylight, he was able to pick out a few things in the room. It was a cellar, the walls were stone which had at some time been whitewashed. They helped make the place look less murky. There was what might have been an old desk with a couple of chairs piled on it, something which looked like a cupboard in one corner and he also could make out a sofa piled with boxes and placed to the right of the bed an easy chair upon which there was a bottle of water and a fibre bar. His heart dropped as he saw a brand new, complete with labels green plastic bucket in the corner nearest to the bed.

This was not happening, he was going to wake up at any moment and know that it was his mind playing tricks on him, reliving his horrible past.

The memories of all the people who loved him flooded his mind but that couldn't stop the tears from running down his cheeks. St. Mary's Great's bell struck six then seven and still he waited for someone to come into the room. Hunger was not bothering him but his stomach was growling. He heard the bells of Our Lady of Hope summoning the faithful to the eight o'clock morning Mass…

Later he decided to see if by standing on the bed he could see out the window. On one side, there was a crack where the hangings did not exactly meet. He scrambled up, leant against the wall and squinted…sitting down in shock, he knew where he was. The view from outside was the same he would have had if he had sat on the kerbside outside his building. He was technically home but two storeys below.

Why would someone want to keep him so close to his home? He refused to say the name of the person whom he believed was his possible captor, he couldn't as he mustn't let the paralysing fear recommence.

He knew now that was why the night sounds had seemed so familiar. The steps outside were stone but he decided that the next time he heard footsteps on them, he was going to call out.

Mrs. Byrne might be returning from Mass or going shopping. Maybe Nick would come by looking for him….maybe a postman or even better a policeman.

He felt sure that there had to be another exit from the cellar. He scoured his memories of the land around the building. There was a small garden in front but he concentrated on the side entry and the back. He was sure that near the side where they kept the bins, there was an old iron banister attached to the wall with stairs going nowhere as they were covered with a metal grill.

He turned his mind to the inside of the house. How would the original owners have accessed the cellar? He decided that it would have been from a back hallway or maybe the kitchen. He had never really explored the ground floor of the building. He handed his rent every month to Mrs. Byrne and he had had tea with her a few times but he'd never explored the corridor beyond her flat door. He had presumed it was only a utility area. Maybe he had been wrong!

The room he was in had no door that he could see but beyond the archway, he could make out another area so he decided that the door was there. He was conscious of the water from the house running in the drains and thought that at night, when people were watching TV he might find something to bang on the pipes. He got up and walked to the extent of his tether, with a broom handle he might be able to reach the pipes. First thing on his list was to find a broom or a length of wood or metal. He glanced under the bed and decided that he could dismantle it as it was an iron bedstead and in a change of plans, smash the window and draw attention to himself. Well, that was what they would do in movies…

It was getting on, he knew that it was close to seven o'clock. His plan to yell for help had never materialised as he had heard no one on the stairs. He'd heard the kids passing on their way home from school but he was sure they were on the park side of the road.

He'd made himself do some stretching exercises and had run on the spot for what had seemed like hours but the St. Mary's Great clock chimes told him that it was under thirty minutes. Finally, he had eaten the fibre bar as he had not had anything to eat for over twenty-four hours.

His mind started to lose its positive attitude, he thought, 'What if this was all there was to his captivity? What if his captor had no intention of returning and one day, he would be found probably dead, chained to a bed…?'

"Stop it!" He told himself out loud. For deep down he knew that this was not the way, the other person thought.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12: THE MONSTER RETURNS**

Time passed slowly for Merlin, he would wake and then fall back asleep. It was damp and cold and although he had checked around, his clothes were nowhere to be found. In desperation, he'd wrapped himself in the blanket and sat on the bed cross-legged. He tried to think of something he could do but apart from finding a metal cutter, he had to stay where he was.

He wasn't going to waste time trying to understand why he was there. If his first suspicions were right, he knew. He didn't want to dwell on that, he wanted to direct all his energy into getting free.

Finally, as the clock on the tower struck ten he allowed himself three more sips of water and then he lay back and tried to sleep.

He didn't wake when around three o'clock, a figure materialised in the archway. Smiling at the figure chained to the bed, he whispered to himself, 'Merlin, I said no…! My Love, when are you ever going to learn that I am not fooling?' He walked forward and placed some underwear, slippers and a pullover on the chair as well as a couple of bottles of water and fibre bars. On top of the clothes, he placed a polished apple, he smiled to himself thinking, 'An apple the symbol of love everlasting.' He whispered to the body on the bed, "Love lasts even after passion subsides, it lingers waiting to be rejuvenated." He slipped away locking the door, exiting quietly through the house.

-0-0-

On the Wednesday evening that Arthur had phoned, the man had answered the phone which he had taken from the flat, but saying nothing he had just listened. He became more and more agitated. Merlin was a stupid lying fool. He must know that they were still in love and that he would finally come back for him. He would promise to treat him well and control his anger. Lying to himself he thought, 'I have since I've been away...that Merlin, will be proof that you should forgive me and take me back.'

He put the phone on the sofa and quietly left the room, when he returned five minutes later, the line was still open and he had great satisfaction in disconnecting. He felt his anger rise and he said, "Arthur, who ever you are, you have no idea with whom you are playing. You'd better watch out!"

-0-0-

Professor Neil Carvers PhD, DVM, DVMS, the man who had answered the phone had resigned his position to keep the charges of physical abuse within the walls of university. He had agreed to see a behavioural psychologist and to enrol in a residential course for anger management. Merlin was to learn later that the resignation was more of a slap on the wrist from the 'old boy's club' as it was written up as a two year sabbatical, supposedly to allow the man in question, time to publish his latest scientific findings.

Police had notified the university of the assault but had then stood back allowing it to take care of what was deemed an internal matter. However, it was to come out two years later that this had not been Professor Caever's first run in with the law for the same charges, as he was found to have been barred for similar behaviour within another university community in the US.

While Merlin was in hospital, a faculty representative had visited him once the university had been notified that one of the junior professors had been injured by another faculty member. He was surprised to hear that apart from a friend Nick, there were no family members present. He felt that Merlin needed someone closer to him, so he suggested he notify his family.

Merlin had reluctantly phoned Gaius, the ensuing conversation was by far the most demoralising one he had ever had. He felt that he had let his family down and Gaius's being so understanding and forgiving had almost made it worse. Gaius had arrived early the following morning, heart broken and at the same time furious that someone had treated his nephew so despicably.

Merlin was apologetic insisting that now that Gaius had seen him he should return to his clinic but Gaius had had time to arrange for a friend to cover his practice and was determined to stay as long as Merlin needed.

Once he was up and around, a university security agent accompanied a distraught Merlin back to the flat he had shared with Neil to recover his belongings. Gaius went with them.

Merlin agreed to speak with a faculty supervisor and to listen to his professional recommendations. He didn't want his story splashed across the pages of the local rag anymore than the university did. He was mortified that the university now knew of his stupidity. The reality was that the sex had after all been consensual, however the beatings had not been, nevertheless he was advised against making a formal police complaint.

Merlin's confidence disappeared, he had felt safe in the hospital, however he was sure in the city that Neil was just waiting to waylay him. He was in mental as well as physical pain and Gaius realised that he had been in no condition to make any important decisions and should not have been encouraged to do so.

Merlin however, wouldn't accept that. As he explained it to Gaius, he wanted it all over as soon as possible so he had agreed not to press charges.

The university had also arranged for him to see someone from their mental health department and would arrange help for him. Gaius knew that getting Merlin better was going to take more than six biweekly appointments with university mental health practitioners. The university would also arrange for him to receive as much time off as needed without loss of pay.

Once the bruising and the physical pain disappeared, his mind started playing tricks, convincing him that it had been his fault. Neil was right, when he'd said that he didn't listen! He had been in the wrong. He decided that he was to blame for the whole mess. He should have listened to Neil and done what he asked.

Gaius was out of his depth so as the completion of Merlin's appointments coincided with the end of the semester and he now had four months off, Gaius got in touch with an older school friend of Merlin's and Adam had stepped into the picture.

At first Merlin was unwilling to discuss his problem with Adam but in time, he accepted that his friend could help him. He smiled as he remembered Adam's saying, "If my dog was sick, I'd need a vet and you would help me, wouldn't you? I would need your expertise."

Merlin had nodded and said with a weak smile, "You equate me to a dog?" It was the first time in months that he had acknowledged that something said, might have been humorous.

Adam had smiled, this was at least a beginning and continued in the same vein, "No, I don't think you're a dog, however you need help and my education gives me the way to help you."

Adam to begin with, had trouble getting him past the feeling of guilt for causing trouble for someone whom he had at one point loved or, as Adam tried to point out had _thought_ that he loved. Merlin had lost all his self esteem and in his own reckoning was worthless. Slowly, he began to talk and with help saw the situation for what it had been.

-0-0-

As he was coming to, Merlin could hear the birds singing and decided to take his camera with him to the university. Then the cold facts hit him, he wouldn't be even going to the university let alone wandering around taking photos. He raised his arm and grabbed the chain. He was still a prisoner. He was hungry and thirsty and knew that his water bottle was empty.

He tried to guess what day it was and figured it must be Thursday. He decided to make marks on the wall to count the days. He opened his eyes and looked around nothing had changed but as he sat upright he noticed the apple and more water bottles. He suddenly felt sick, someone had been in here while he slept. He decided that he would ignore everything and leave it as it was but before he knew it, he'd got off the bed, grimacing as the cold hit his feet through his socks. He moved over to the chair and managed to grab the apple, he placed it on the bed and then repeated the action until everything was also there except for one water bottle which he couldn't reach

He sat looking at the hoard and couldn't stop the tears, as he pulled on the boxers and the slippers. He grabbed the sweater and by staying close to where the chain was, managed to pull it over his head and pushed his hand, arm and chain into one sleeve. The other sleeve went on easily and he was able to pull the material down to his waist. The chain now sticking out at his back. Being clothed made him feel better, it gave him some hope that his imprisonment would soon end.

Neil had played this game before, never to actually chaining and leaving him but he had often been threatened as to what might happen to him if he left without notifying Neil where he was going and he was often punished by being confined to their bedroom without food if he arrived home later than expected.

He shook his head, everything that he had learned with Adam was still fresh in his mind. He was a person and as such had control over his own life and would lose that control only if he willingly gave it to someone else. He was determined that he would never let anyone have one hundred percent control of him ever again. If it were Neil he was dealing with, he might at the moment have fifty percent of him but he would never ever have control of his mind. Realising this made him feel a little less desperate.

He took one of the water bottles and opened it, listing carefully for the seal to break, he allowed himself three sips. He tore open the fibre bar and allowed himself two bites. It tasted so good, he laughed sadly as he would never have thanked anyone for giving him one three days earlier.

He sat staring at the apple, it brought back too many bad memories. He knew what importance his captor held in its symbolism. He would not eat it.

He got up, with the pullover on his movements were more limited but he did his exercises and scratched a symbol on the wall. He would do this every morning to keep track of the days. He had the chimes from the church clock to tell him the hours and his symbols would tell him the date.

The day dragged by there was a lot of traffic on the road but not too many pedestrian voices. He was unable to tell when people were walking up the cement stairs so he had not called out. At one point he was sure that he heard a vacuum but he had either been mistaken or his yelling had not been heard.

He had nothing to occupy his mind other than his present situation and the awful thought that neither his mother nor Gaius knew where he was. Normally, he would have phoned his mother on Sunday but if he didn't, she just presumed that he was busy and would call later during the week. Arthur would be the one most expecting to hear from him as he had promised to phone on Tuesday.

His plan was to stay awake all night and catch a glimpse of the person holding him prisoner. If it were Neil, he knew that sooner or later he would make his presence known. He shuddered to think of what he would expect from him.

Merlin stayed awake until dawn and then fell into a deep sleep. Upon waking he checked the chair but there were no further supplies there and the last water bottle was still out of reach. No one had visited last night or if they had they had left nothing. That felt even scarier, had they waited for him to doze off and then just stood in the shadows watching him sleep?

He was feeling filthy and the toilet arrangement was gross but there was no alternative. He started another fibre bar and drank more of his water, he was using up a bottle a day and he was worried that if no one came he would die. All he could think of was a running tap, his toothbrush and a mouthful of toothpaste. He would never again consider washing essential it would be a luxury.

He removed his pullover to give himself more freedom and did his exercises before putting the symbol for Friday on the wall and under it a little seventeen. He worried that he might go all the way around to seventeen again. Surely someone would find him by then.

Monday had been the thirteenth, he had already been here three days and was starting his fourth.

Unbeknownst to him, the wheels were being put in motion for his release as today, Arthur had contacted Tim to find out the telephone number for his friend Adam whom Arthur had spoken to later that day.

Merlin sat thinking, it was just after two thirty, he'd finished his lunch of one half a fibre bar. The sun was out and a lazy bluebottle was buzzing against the window also trying to escape from the cellar. Normally in that situation, he would have got up, opened the window and let it go. It hit him as sad that he could help neither the bluebottle nor himself. They were pretty disgusting things as he had even found their maggots in the open wounds of abandoned dogs and horses.

His mind jumped to his dog Tilly, maybe if Gaius brought her to his flat, she would be able to track him down to this hell hole. He sighed that was stupid as Gaius didn't know he was here.

He said to himself, 'Hope springs eternal…' then his mind jumped to Alexander Pope and he decided that if he had been imprisoned in the seventeen hundreds, it might have been not so dissimilar to his own situation.

The day dragged by and he became more desperate to escape. He had again heard a vacuum and had made himself hoarse shouting once it had stopped.

No one came…

-0-0-

Saturday, Arthur almost enjoyed his visit to the park with Paul and Laurence. They were both in awe of the wild animals and the proximity to the capital itself. They made a special visit to the Animal Orphanage where Laurence was taken by a baby giraffe. He couldn't stop talking about it even when they got back to the hotel. They visited the park gift shop and Paul bought a hand-woven bag for his wife and carvings for his twins.

Laurence bought a similar bag for his grandmother, like Gawaine he thought highly of her. He bought a carved African themed bracelet for his mother. Arthur didn't make any purchases. He didn't buy photos as he knew Merlin would prefer to take his own and he still intended one day to bring him to Kenya. He just slipped ₤300 into the orphanage's donation box in Merlin's name.

Some of the pressure of not being able to speak with Merlin had been alleviated since talking to Adam. He had to trust that he and Tim would try their best to track him down.

Returning to Nairobi, they decided to enjoy the gym and the pool before having supper in the hotel. Saturday was African Cuisine night and they had reservations. Arthur laughed as Laurence said to him quite seriously, "We won't be eating any illegal bushmeat will we?"

Realising that he had been paying attention to the talks at the animal orphanage, he had said, "I doubt it, I hardly think they would risk their license doing anything so silly. All the meat will be ranch raised, I know there is ostrich, camel, and crocodile on the menu but you could always stay safe and eat fish. I think you should however have a taste of everything if only to make Gawaine jealous!"

Laurence had thought that made sense and by the end of the meal he had tasted a little of everything, including camel which he said tasted like a cross between lamb and beef, as well as the crocodile which he tried to explain as the texture of a lobster but the taste of a chicken. He decided that the ostrich tasted like lean beef. He kept Paul and Arthur amused, as he seriously considered which wine to eat with each meat.

Paul said with a nod at Arthur, "Next season, he'll be on Master Chef."

The evening had been relaxing and Arthur returned to his own room and waited for Adam's call. The later it got the more worried he became.

-0-0-

Adam and Tim had had a busy day. Adam had first gone to the landlady's apartment, he had helped Merlin find the flat and hoped that she remembered him. She did, he briefly explained that he had not heard from Merlin and as he had the key to the flat, he would like to check inside.

Mrs. Byrne not only recognised him but even remembered his name. "Yes, Dr. Calderwood, that would be all right."

Tim and he walked upstairs and Adam unlocked the door. On first glance nothing seemed amiss. The place was a bit untidy but that was expected of someone living along, there was a cereal bowl and a mug in the sink and the bed hadn't been made

Tim was checking the front door when he saw something shining about eighteen inches from the floor. It was an eye hook which had been screwed into the outer door frame. Checking the other side, he could not find another hook but certainly, there was the damaged hole into which another eye hook had possibly been screwed. He realised that he was looking at what might have been a trip wire. Who would need to put that outside their flat?

He called to Adam and showed him what he had found. To say the least, Adam was shocked. He felt a shiver go up his back and he said, under his breath, "My God, if he's got Merlin, I'll kill him!"

He grabbed his phone and found the contact he wanted and connected. He had a heated discussion as Tim looking on patiently. He ending the call by saying, "Well, thank you for nothing!"

He shook his head, saying, "The bastards didn't think to notify me that Neil was held for an additional six months as he hadn't improved as well as expected. He was still belligerent, having problems with his anger and had on more than one occasion caused trouble with another resident. Once he seemed to improve, he was then recommended for day treatment, which included attending sessions but living outside the residence. I have a feeling that the next call will confirm that he never returned for his first sessions and is in other words, AWOL!"

After making a few more calls, he called in some favours and found out the Neil had been missing from his temporary lodging in Birmingham for over seven days.

Adam returned to Mrs. Byrne's flat on the first floor. He asked if she had noticed Merlin having visitors. She shook her head, "Not unless you count his friend Nick from uni, been friends for years. He was away last weekend but I saw him on Monday."

"Would you know Nick's last name?"

"Sorry no, but he is the great nephew of Monsignor Andrew at Our Lady of Hope's. Therefore it could be Mitchum."

Adam knew about Nick from Merlin's history and now he really wanted to have a chat with him. He thanked Mrs. Byrne and told her that he would like to spend a little longer in Merlin's flat but that he would let her know when he and Dr. Hughes left the building.

He went back upstairs to Merlin's place, maybe Tim had found something else.

"I am sure that two people have been here, it looks as if someone sat in that chair, and someone was lying on the sofa. There is a beer can on the table as well as a water glass. There are also marks on the carpet as if something has been dragged like a chair. See there are marks left by the legs."

Adam didn't see them, instead he saw heel marks. He wondered out loud, "How did someone convince Merlin to let them into his flat?" He walked back to the door and checked the eye hook and its corresponding hole on the other frame. He stood there shaking his head.

He was missing something. The lock had not been jimmied. Had the person waited outside until Merlin unlocked the door and fell forward, then pushed him to the ground and got into the flat? He ran it by Tim, who agreed that might very well have happened but where were the two of them now?

Adam had had a good look around, nothing seemed to be in disarray and Merlin's camera and equipment were still there. He picked up the camera which was lying on the table and turned it on there were multiple shots of London some which included a blond which Adam took to be Arthur.

However, it was later photos that shook him…


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13 : INCRIMINATING PHOTOS AND RING TONES**

The latest photos were one of a crumpled Merlin on the floor and others of him naked lying on a bed with a chain attached to his arm.

Adam had dealt with things like this for years but seeing Merlin as the victim shook him. He knew that it was not unusual for people to take photos of the bad things they did but this… He turned to Tim handing him the camera, "It's not pretty!" was all that he said.

Tim looked at them in silence then said, "In case he returns and decides to destroy the shots, I think you should remove the camera card. We can show it to the police. Also, I can't find his phone or wallet so I presume he has them with him."

"…or his captive does!" Adam replied.

Neither man voiced the possibility as to whether Merlin was still alive.

-0-0-

When he spoke to Arthur, Adam brought him up to date but refrained from mentioning the photos just saying, that they had proof to lead them to believe that he had been abducted.

Arthur was in a real state, made worse by the fact that he was so far away. His first thought was to leave and return to England but he was in the middle of a business trip and he wasn't alone. "I can't leave right now but given the chance I'd be back in London by tomorrow evening."

Adam was understanding and said, "It will take more than a few days to figure this mess out. Stay where you are and phone me morning and night that way we'll be able to keep you up to date on what's happening this end."

Wondering if he would ever see Merlin ever again, he agreed and made arrangements to speak to Adam Sunday afternoon.

-0-0-

Merlin had spent an uneventful Saturday. He had exercised and added Saturday the nineteenth to his wall. The scratchings in the whitewash were pretty uninspiring but at least he could read them. He was rationing his water as he was on his last bottle. Today he intended to devise a way to get that extra bottle which was still on the chair.

He finally realised that if he lay on the floor with his chained hand fully extended, he could reach the chair with his leg and managed to slip his foot around it. It wasn't comfortable but he managed to move the chair about three inches closer to the bed. His foot hurt but he slid himself back a little and repeated the same action. The chair was certainly moving towards him, he might now be able to reach the water bottle. He stood up and leant over, he grabbed the bottle, replacing it with the untouched apple and retreated to the safety of the bed. He was chilled and put on his pullover and wrapped his lower body in the blanket. He knew he would have a bruise across his instep tomorrow. The success of his actions stayed with him for about an hour and then he began again to see the futility of the entire situation. As long as the chain was attached, he was stuck in the cellar.

His mind took him back upstairs. He had not realised that there was a cellar. Who besides Mrs. Byrne had access to it? It didn't looked lived in so it was probably not rented out. He went over the tenants in the other flats, on the ground floor was Mrs. Byrne and Molly her lodger, a music student and on the top floor was the Kemp family, parents and two young boys. He had the second floor flat.

He tried hard to visualise the interior steps to the cellar. They must have been on the ground floor. He wondered how many rooms there were. If it copied the ground floor, there would have been a minimum of three like his flat. He knew that Mrs. Byrne had an extra room in a more recent extension into the garden but he doubted that the cellar extended under there. He looked carefully at the room he was in, it was hard to tell as it was dark but he thought it was a similar size to his main room and it was on the front of the house as well. Then there could be another room off it. He doubted that there was a bathroom but possibly a tap and a utility sink.

He heard a clicking noise and froze. He was sure there was someone in the other part of the cellar. He could hear things being moved. In case it was Neil, he decided to remain quiet, if it wasn't he'd have to live with the regret. The sounds got fainter and then stopped. Silence resumed.

The clock chimed seven. Again he was determined to try to stay awake all night as he realised that there would probably be a visit tonight as he had only one bottle of water and no food left.

By eleven, his eyes were heavy and he awoke with a start when he heard the clock chime two. He lay there disappointed in himself.

It was dark but he had the feeling that he was not alone. He was conscious of a fragrance, then he placed it D&G's The One. His heart all but stopped. He waited…

"Aren't you going to say hello, Lover?" A voice accosted him in the dark, "I missed you but you already know that, don't you?"

Merlin stopped himself from screaming. No one would hear him and it would only make what he knew was going to happen worse as Neil would be annoyed. He felt the bed shift as someone sat on it.

"You've been really naughty, haven't you? Talking with the university and getting me into trouble. But you know that I will forgive you, Merlin, once you make amends."

It sickened him to hear his name on his lips. He tried to keep control of his feelings as he knew that even an audible breath or a sob would be held against him. He felt the blanket being moved and Neil's hand on his back.

"If you can find the key in my pocket, I will unlock that awful chain?"

Merlin knew that if he gave in it would be better but something or someone stopped him, he saw Arthur standing on his balcony with Tower Bridge in the background and he steeled himself to whatever was going to happen. He wasn't going to cooperate, not this time.

He felt Neil haul him towards himself and grab his hand yanking on the chain. He kissed his hand and said sweetly, "Oh Merlin, obviously I made a mistake, as I was being kind, maybe the next time the chain will be attached to you neck."

Merlin involuntarily stiffened and Neil said, "However, that won't be necessary if you are a good boy."

Merlin closed his mind to what was happening. He concentrated on his London trip, the painted columns inside The Globe, the glass floor on the Tower Bridge and the poor souls who had met their deaths on Tower Hill. It was no use fighting and he allowed the bastard to have his way. He blanked his mind and remembered nothing.

He felt the mattress shift. "Shame you were so disinterested in things. Maybe a little more participation next time, please…!" Neil had said threateningly.

He stood up smiling before adding, "Are you like this with your other lovers?" Merlin gave no indication he had heard, he was used to Neil degrading him either physically or mentally.

"Guess a few more days here, will change your mind. Maybe next time, I'll bring a camera and send some photos…to that young man or yours in London, what is his name again?" He paused before adding, "Yes…I remember now it's Arthur!"

The door creaked and then was banged shut. He heard it being locked.

Merlin felt his heart turn to ice. Arthur! How did this man know his name? Had he phoned? He wasn't thinking clearly and he reached in his pocket for his phone and laughed bitterly, he didn't have trousers let alone a phone.

He lay there remembering how since the first time, he had crawled back to an almost normal existence, he had his job, friends, his own place. He used to laugh at jokes and tease his mother. He enjoyed his time with Gaius and then there was Arthur.

Neil knew nothing about him and Arthur. He couldn't have as there was really nothing to know, he convinced himself that anything further Neil said about the two of them was a concoction of his warped mind. He stopped and thought for a moment, 'Was there even a 'him and Arthur' or had that flown out the window when he'd woken up here?'

He could forgive himself for falling into this mess once but twice! Then in the depths of his mind a little spark grew, not large enough to light the way but enough to keep hope burning in his heart. He hadn't fallen into this mess a second time, he'd been coerced.

He heard the clock chime on the quarter, which quarter he didn't know. He thought of the church, and not expecting an immediate response said, "Please, God, look after Arthur. Never let anything like this happen to him. I don't know that he could cope!"

He paused and thought of Arthur's treatment of him, never demanding anything, no insinuations of something expected in the future, he seemed just to enjoy being in his company. However, when the truth came out and it would, would he still feel the same way about him?

In that little space beside the hope burning in his heart, he knew there was love for Arthur. Whether it would grow to be a reality, he wasn't sure but he held onto it and added from his heart, "…and I don't think that I can cope either! Please, find a way to help me, Amen."

His body hurt and his soul was wounded. He pulled the blanket up and fell into an exhausted sleep.

-0-0-

 _He knows he's working late as is Uther._ _He waits…Arthur never comes home._

 _He decides to try to find him. He leaves immediately planning to tell Arthur in the morning._

 _He_ _'s in a hot air balloon. He can hear the hoarse whoosh from the propane burners as it ascends. He feels the wind in his hair and the sun on his face. It's like flying._

 _He sees the river then turns west to land opposite Arthur's flat on Tower Hill where he sees Arthur leaving on a boat going downstream._

 _Suddenly, he's in a tank racing along the streets, ignoring traffic lights and bashing into cars and trucks. He tries to catch up with him._

 _He is invincible; no one can hurt him._

 _He's chasing the boat Arthur is on which changes into a seaplane and takes off. He is shocked but none of the canine passengers in his amphibian tank seem interested._

 _He sees a Pyrenees but it turns green and when it barks at him fire and smoke comes out of its mouth._

 _Uther briefly appears with a crown and sceptre._

 _He waits; Arthur walks by ignoring him, he calls out to him but he doesn't turn around, the man he is walking with does however and he gasps…it's_ _Neil_ _who nods at him._

 _Heart broken, he drops to his knees..._

-0-0-

Merlin woke up, gasping for air. He tried to quieten his heart. He wanted to scream but wasn't sure if he was alone. Slowly, his heart returned to a normal thump-thump and he heard the clock chime five. It was almost the start of another day, the seventh day of the week, Sunday.

He said quietly, "Please, God, don't forget me, I"m still here!" He decided as it was Sunday, he would pray every hour on the hour.

His mother had done that when his grandmother had been dying. It worked as she had slipped away quietly in her sleep holding a photo of his mother and him in her hand, his mother and he sitting quietly beside her bed.

Tears seeped out of his eyes running across his cheek to his ears. Last Sunday had been one of the best days of his life, he'd had Arthur to himself for the whole day. He knew that would never happen again. Arthur would never need to know the awful secrets he kept.

His mind went to the station. He'd seen Arthur standing there and on impulse he had decided to blow him a kiss. By the look on Arthur's face, he'd known that he'd done the right thing.

A shiver ran up his back and dark clouds passed over his mind when he remembered what Neil had said about Arthur. He would send him photos, Merlin cringed and blushed as he imaged what they would be. Neil knew his name and if he was in the know, would be able to place his flat from the background of the photo. He'd hang around waiting and then walk up to him…

He shook his head, he was wasting energy dreaming up a scenario which might never happen. He knew one thing for sure, Neil had seen his camera and probably had his phone.

He couldn't sleep so he sat on the edge of the bed and in the dim light was able to make out that supplies had been left on the chair. It meant that Neil intended his captivity to continue. He could wait but once the time came, he would show no mercy to his captor. He had not thought of physically hurting Neil but since he had uttered Arthur's name, his mindset had changed. He was out for revenge. He smiled sadly, how he wasn't sure, but he would be victorious this time, he was not going to be walked over he would stand up and fight.

Deep down he knew that it was highly unlikely that he would be able to accomplish anything chained to a bed but with God's help, he was going to end up the victor this time. He marked the wall and did his exercises.

-0-0-

Arthur's phone rang, he grabbed for it as he searched for a shirt. The three of them were going to the eleven thirty service at the Anglican All Saints' Cathedral. Visitors were welcomed and the organist was renowned. In his frame of mind, Arthur felt that a visit to a church on Sunday was the right thing to do. Maybe they needed God to get involved. He smiled sadly, his father would have dismissed the idea but he had a feeling Merlin wouldn't have.

"What do you want this time, Laurence?" he answered with a smile figuring that it was him phoning back. No one spoke and he glanced at the caller's number, he almost dropped the phone as it was Merlin's.

His legs felt weak, so he sat on the edge of the desk and waited. This can't be Merlin because he'd be talking ten to the dozen about not being able to reach him and all the things that had happened in his life as a result of it.

He waited then decided to say, "Who is this and what do you want?" He felt his heart thumping in his chest as he waited.

An angry British voice said, "Merlin is mine…he has been and always will be! Keep away from him, you bastard!" with that the caller hung up.

Arthur was in shock. Who was that and what the hell did he mean and why had Merlin let him have his phone?

It was only nine o'clock in Cambridge but Adam answered immediately.

Arthur explained what had happened and Adam took it all in. He realised that Arthur had been thrown by the call. He calmed him down thanking him for getting to him so soon. "What have you planned for the day?"

Arthur gave him a rough run down of their schedule. He had decided to spend the day as a tourist with the others but now he was having second thoughts.

Adam was calm as he said, "I want you to do what you have planned, however keep your phone on the whole time. If the person calls back, don't talk to him but note the time and length of time he keeps the connection open. I don't expect you to hear from him but I'll phone before you retire so if there is anything this end, I can bring you up to date. Whatever you do, don't antagonise the caller...let him think that he has the upper hand."

Arthur rang off and taking Adam's advise went out for a day around Nairobi. He had enjoyed the service and had remembered to ask God to keep an eye on Merlin wherever he was.

-0-0-

Adam brought Tim up to date on the phone call. He felt sorry for Arthur so far away and obviously worried.

They walked from the Hilton where they were staying back to Merlin's flat. Adam had notified the police and they had promised to look into his absence as soon as they could. They had wanted to know how big the building was and who lived there. Adam needed to speak again to Mrs. Byrne.

He rang her bell and the door was opened by a young girl. He explaining that he was visiting Dr. Emrys the tenant on the second floor and wished to speak to Mrs. Byrne. The girl assured him that her landlady wouldn't be back until late afternoon as she's gone to visit her daughter and family. Not wanting to frighten her by asking questions, Adam said that he drop by later in the day and thanked her.

He went upstairs and again scanned the flat to see if he could notice anything unusual. There was nothing. Suddenly he decided to go through the rubbish bin and in the waste paper basket under Merlin's desk in the living room he saw something of interest. He called Tim over and he smiled, "Got him!"

Adam went to the kitchen and went through Merlin's drawers, there he found a box of plastic see through baggies with zip locks. He also found plastic gloves. He put on a pair and went back to the waste paper basket. Tim also put on a pair and using a pencil, looped up a length of wire still attached to an eye hook. He dropped it into the baggie and handed it to Adam. Adam smiled as he sealed it saying, "I guess surgical expertise has its uses!"

Tim laughed, "It should be covered in fingerprints, even partial ones are better than nothing. It's a good length of wire so my guess is that it was attached to this hook and only threaded through the one still in the door frame."

Neither of them wanted to touch the wire so they didn't try to see if that was what had been done. One end had obviously been cut as two knots was still in the hook. Merlin's captor must have just pulled the wire out as he collected it. Then he'd forgotten to remove the other hook.

Tim stood at the window glancing at the churchyard opposite. Couples were wandering around its paths. He would have liked to have been over there with Adam. However, he was searching through papers on Merlin's desk explaining, "Looking for unopened mail…" he smiled as he added, "Mostly bills."

He decided to broach the subject of lunch. "Adam, how about you take a break and we go and get something to eat? It's a lovely day and we can have it in the park."

Adam looked up, it made sense to take a break as Mrs. Byrne wouldn't be back for at least two hours. He smiled, "Come on then, let's go." He locked up as they left the flat and Tim insisted on putting a thin piece of paper in the door frame as he closed it. "Saw this on TV, if anyone goes in we'll know."

Adam leant over and put his arm around his shoulders saying, "My very own Sherlock!"

They enjoyed their lunch and happily watched the kids chasing around in the park near the cafe. Tim explained, "I used to love going to our park. There were huge trees with low branches and we used to be all over them. Then the municipality decided that was dangerous and put fencing around them but the residents were up in arms and my father as the local doctor took it upon himself to form a committee called, 'Let The Children Climb'. The mayor was defeated at the council meeting and the fences were removed."

Adam smiled, he loved it when Tim shared memories of his childhood. In his job he relied on memories to help his patients heal but Tim's memories were nearly always happy ones. He looked at his watch, it was nearly four thirty.

"We should be getting back, you can always sit in the churchyard if you want. Tim did exactly that while Adam went to see if Mrs. Byrne had returned. He was sitting thinking about Merlin when a noise caught his ear. Just another annoying phone ringing but this ring was not annoying it was original and Tim's head came up and he carefully looked around.

A well-dressed older man was sitting on the next bench. He answered the phone and Tim heard him say something to the fact of, "Yes, all right you can call me back at this number but make it snappy."

Tim took out his phone on the pretence of using it, he put it on video camera and managed to turn to focus on the man on the bench. He then carried on an imaginary conversation before getting up and walking past the man. Looking at him, he shook his head saying pleasantly, "Kids! You never know what they are going to get up to."

The stranger nodded and at that exact moment his phone rang and he answered it. Tim knew he had caught the whole thing on his phone. Adam needed to see and hear the video so he quickly crossed the street to Merlin's place.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14 : RESCUERS AT HAND**

Tim made his way to Merlin's but as the flat was locked, he figured that Adam was downstairs with Mrs. Byrne. He would wait so he sat on the floor opposite the door wondering if the piece of paper was still trapped.

He replayed the video and shuddered.

Adam appeared at the top of the stairs, smiling, "Good, you're back, I learnt something..."

He got no further as Tim held out his hand and Adam hauled him to his feet saying. "Thanks! But first I have something to show you," Tim said as he stood up.

Adam unlocked the door and the slip of paper floated to the floor. He gave Tim the thumbs up. Tim grabbed his elbow and directed him to the window. The man was still on the bench. He opened his phone and passed the video to Adam. It wasn't until the man's phone rang did he gasp.

The sound of a trumpeting elephant!

He had teased Merlin about that but he had been insistent as it was original. He could turn it down yet still pick it out in a crowd. How could someone else have the same ring tone? Chances were strong that it had to be Merlin's phone.

Adam looked at the video for a second time, paying careful attention to the stranger. The man was the same build and height but his face was in the shadows, he couldn't swear it was Dr. Carver. He'd only seen a photo on the university site from two years ago and it had since been removed. However, he could show it to Mrs. Byrne. He told Tim what he had learned from Mrs. Byrne. There was a bus driver's family on the top floor, then Merlin, then her own flat, the girl there was Molly her boarder.

He turned faced Tim and said with emphasis , "…and _a man_ to whom Mrs. Byrne had rented half the cellar for storage. I have a feeling we should show her your video."

Tim followed him down to Mrs. Byrne's flat. Adam knocked on the door and waited, when it was opened he said, "I am sorry to bother you again but something important has come up."

She invited the two of them in and watched the video, laughing when she heard the ring tone, "Merlin has one like that, I say he's a real Tarzan!"

Adam nodded but added, "Do you recognise the man?"

Mrs. Byrne smiled, "Yes, that's Mr. Butcher, nice man…asked me to call him Neil." Adam's shock was apparent and Mrs Byrne picked up on it. She looked distinctly worried, "Did I do something wrong?"

Adam shook his head, "Nothing that can't be sorted out. How often did you see Mr. Butcher?"

"The first time when he asked about the space, then the morning he arrived for the key and paid a month's rent in advance and two days ago. I was on my way out and he was coming in with some shopping bags."

Tim said, "Arthur, he's downstairs, I know it. Can we please look around downstairs, Mrs Byrne?"

Mrs. Byrne stood up and said that they could go down there, but not into the area which she had rented to Mr Butcher as it was rented and she was sure locked.

Adam took her into his confidence and told her that Merlin would have been missing for a week on Tuesday. She was shocked, he didn't mention Merlin's previous history with Neil. He explained that the man in the video had Merlin's phone and possibly had him confined to the cellar.

Mrs. Byrne pointed out that there was no toilet down there. She stood shocked and was immediately involved, "Let's go! Molly, bring a torch!"

Knowing what Merlin had been through last time, Adam said, "Maybe if you show us the way, Tim and I should go downstairs first." He nodded at Tim and they followed her into the hallway. She stopped at a door and unlocked it saying, "Mr. Butcher also has this key. There's a light switch on the left at the bottom of the stairs." She looked worried and stood back out of the way.

"Don't worry, we'll be careful. Go back to your flat in case Mr. Carv...I mean Mr. Butcher arrives. Don't open your door to him, wait for Tim or me."

She nodded. Tim stood to one side and let Adam go downstairs first...

-0-0-

Merlin looked at the supplies, a six pack of bottled water, a box of twelve fibre bars and two oranges and a book. Did this mean that Neil wasn't coming back for some time? He also noticed that the bucket had been emptied.

He put all the supplies on a little table he'd managed to pull closer to the bed. He smelled the orange as he rolled it in his hands. He curled his feet under him and opened the book. He felt disappointed as it was a child's copy of Sleeping Beauty and he flung it into the corner. He was getting quite adept at moving around even with the chain. It was really a matter of judging distance and being imaginative.

It has started to rain outside and the room was dark. He could see no light switch in his area so he imagined it must be out of view closer to the door which he heard but couldn't see.

He lay back on the bed, he'd be happier when he was asleep as his mind could take flight, as he was able to dream that he got out of the room to visit his mother, Gaius, his flat upstairs, the university and he sighed Arthur.

At first it had worried him sleeping so much but then as long as he did his exercises daily, he decided it was maybe what his body and mind needed.

He closed his eyes and fell into a troubled sleep.

-0-0-

Adam led the way down the stairs, going as quietly as possible. He switched on the light at the bottom and a white-washed room was flooded with light. It wasn't huge but big enough to store unwanted furniture and boxes. There were two small narrow windows near the ceiling and Tim could see the house next door.

They glanced around and saw a padlocked door in the far wall. Adam pointed to it and Tim nodded. They crept over to it and listened nothing. Adam suddenly saw a bin bag and went to check it, he felt plastic recycling and opening it found empty water bottles also an empty box for nutrition bars.

Adam felt ninety percent certain that Merlin was on the other side of the door. Tim and he made their way back to the stairs. "We need a hammer or something," said Adam quietly.

"Well, first I think we should make sure that Merlin is there otherwise, we'll have shown our hand and be no closer to him."

Adam nodded, "Right! I'll call and see if anything happens." He walked to the door and said, "Merlin? Merlin, can you hear me? Are you there?"

-0-0-

Merlin woke up hearing Arthur calling him but he couldn't see him. He tried to say his name aloud but he couldn't. He heard him again and murmured, "Arthur, I can't see you! Where are you?"

Then he realised it wasn't Arthur's but another voice and a tapping on the door. He came to suddenly and almost broke his shoulder as he tried to get out on the wrong side of the bed.

He recognised the voice and yelled, "Adam! I'm here!" But his voice was hoarse from lack of use and he felt that he was only croaking. He was worried that Adam hadn't heard and would go away. He picked up a water bottle and aimed it with all his strength in the direction of the door, it hit the wall with a resounding thud.

Adam called, "Merlin, we know you're there. We are going to get you out. Are you all right?"

He again threw another bottle and tried to call out, "Adam!"

"I hear you, Merlin, hang on, we'll get you out in no time."

Suddenly, Tim and he heard a footstep on the stairs. Tim called, "Mrs. Byrne you shouldn't be down here!" Then he realised it was the man.

Adam managed to crouch out of sight behind a trunk. Better Neil should think there was only one of them.

"What are you doing down here?" the man asked loudly.

Merlin froze when he heard Neil, then made his way back to the bed. He didn't want anyone hurt because of him. He thought, 'Adam, leave me, get out! I don't want you hurt...I'll be all right here.'

Neil looked at Tim, as if he knew him or possibly recognised him as the man in the park, "What do you want?"

Tim thinking on his feet said, "Mrs Byrne said that she had this space for me to store some of my stuff until I can get into my new place. Sorry if I'm in the way, she mentioned that the other room was already rented. You must be…Mr. Butcher, is it?"

But Neil wasn't going to be swayed that easily, "She never mentioned to me about renting this space."

"Well, I won't be around much just looking at it today and it looks all right so I will probably get my friends to give me a hand dropping off my stuff tomorrow and then you won't see hide or hair of me for two months as I'm off for eight weeks in Greece." Tim thought, 'Where in heavens name did Greece come from?' He moved across the side of the room and looked at it carefully, "I think I'll only need this wall area. That won't cause any trouble in your getting to the other room, will it?"

Neil glanced at the door and back, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "You'll be gone after tomorrow…? Guess it would be all right. Well, you'd best be on your way as I have things to do."

Adam still crouching down thought, "I bloody well guess you do, Mister, but not for much longer." From his position he had a good view of both men. He had no intention of letting Neil leave the cellar but how he intended to keep him there, he hadn't figured out.

They heard footsteps on the stairs. A young man came bouncing down them. "Mrs. Byrne said you were down here." He put out his hand and Tim moved over to shake it. "My name's Nick Mitchum and I'm Merlin's friend, you were asking after me."

All hell broke loose at the word Merlin, Neil pushed Tim out of the way and went at Nick with his fists raised. Nick fell backwards awkwardly on the stairs and luckily stayed down as Adam came out of his hiding place and bowled Neil over, the poor man smacking his head on the side of a shelf as he went down.

"Is he dead?" Nick asked. "What was all that about?"

Tim was kneeling beside him, "No, but he's out for the count. Good work, Adam!"

Adam came over and helped Nick off the stairs, "Glad to meet you, Nick, I'm Adam Calderwood a friend of Merlin's and this is Dr. Tim Hughes." They both looked at the figure on that floor.

Tim said, "He needs stitches…" Adding almost gleefully, "He's going to have a big bump and a sore head when he comes to."

Adam looked around the place and saw a strap that would be used around an old suitcase. "Nick, tie that around his legs below his knees. I've got to get this padlock off, we believe that Merlin is in there."

Nick's jaw dropped and he spun to look at the body on the floor. "Is that the Dr. Carver who gave Merlin a rough time?"

"Yes, when you've done that go upstairs and tell Mrs Byrne to phone for the police and an ambulance."

The young man did as he was told and then limped up the stairs, this was more fun that sitting around drinking with his friends. They weren't going to believe it. He'd been almost attacked and then had helped immobilise the bad guy.

Adam went back to the door, "Merlin, we're going to get you out, hang on!" He turned to Tim saying, "He must have the key on him, you can have the pleasure of searching his pockets. If he hadn't knocked himself out as he fell, I would have done it."

Tim smiled, Adam was not violent but he could get riled up over injustice and this was one of those cases. He felt a phone, possibly Merlin's. "There's a phone, do you want it?"

"No, don't touch it, we'll let the police know it's there and they can bag it. Any keys?"

Tim said, "Wait at sec, there's a wallet," he handed it to Adam. He felt the other pocket and triumphantly said, "…and keys!" which Adam grabbed and returned to the locked door on the third try, he had the padlock open.

The door opened into a little hallway before leading to a larger room, it was dark so Adam found the light switch. Suddenly he heard Merlin say, "Oww! It's too bright!" he immediately switched it off allowing his eyes to accustom themselves to the darkness.

He said, "Hang on!" and reached for his phone it would be light enough for him to see. He was careful not to shine it at Merlin.

He was shocked with what he saw. The place was dank and smelled stale. Merlin was sitting on the bed. The blanket had slipped onto the floor and he could see that he wasn't properly dressed. He had that former haunted look on his face and Adam knew that Neil had had his way and that he had been sexually abused.

He walked over to the bed manoeuvring around an armchair. He spoke to Merlin who opened his eyes and then abruptly closed them."Merlin, it's all right, we have Neil tied up and the police are coming." He could tell that Merlin was embarrassed for him to see him like this so he made no comment on his appearance. He could see the relief on Merlin's face that he had been found and slowly the tears started. He reached down and took the blanket, shook it and placed it around Merlin.

When he finally got control of himself, Merlin said, "Don't let them see me like this they will want me to go to hospital. Adam, please, I don't want to go to hospital! It will start all over again!"

Adam was torn; he put out his hand and took Merlin's right one, enfolding it in his own, "Hold on to my hand. I won't let you go. I have you, you're safe!" He knew Merlin well and that he needed the contact of a hug but from past experience also knew that the police would prefer that no physical contact was made. He looked the worse for wear but until someone checked him out, he couldn't be sure what exactly had happened to him or how injured he was. "Come on!" he said, "Let's get you out of here. Can I turn on the overhead light?"

Merlin shook his head and said that it hurt his eyes too much.

"Have you been in the dark the whole time?"

"He never put the light on but it was brighter during the day if it was sunny."

"What did you eat?"

Merlin motioned to the water, the bars and the oranges, "Today was the first time I had any fruit," he added.

"Well, let's get you out of here!"

Merlin shook his head. "I can't!"

"But I told you Neil is tied up, he can't hurt you."

Merlin dropped his head down and lifted up his left arm and rattled the chain. His eyes filled up again as he asked, "Do you have the key?"

Adam was shocked and furious, how long had this Neil person intended to keep him chained to the bed. If he had been a lesser man he would have been tempted to leave Merlin and to walk in the other room and give Neil a kick in the gut for each day that Merlin had been chained.

Instead he said, "Merlin, I have to go back into the other room, I left the keychain hanging in the padlock. I'll talk to you all the while so you can hear me."

Merlin listened and heard him saying, "Tim, can you leave him for a while and just have a look at Merlin, before I move him."

He heard Tim say, "Yes, right away…this one isn't going anywhere for the moment."

Adam soon was back with more keys, after many tries he found the one he needed and was able to unlock the padlock attaching the chain to the bed. He couldn't figure out which one would release the handcuff but maybe the police could figure it out.

Tim came in and Merlin blushed, for some reason it was all right for Adam to see him in this mess but he felt uncomfortable having anyone else see him. He knew he was filthy and smelled awful.

Tim said kindly, "Hello, Merlin, am I glad to see you! Don't worry, I'll just have quick check, that you can be moved. We have called an ambulance for the bastard and they can tell us what we should do."

"You mean the hospital, don't you?" He turned to Adam and implored, "Please Adam, tell him I'm all right to go home."

"He's the doctor, Merlin, I think we should do what he says, don't you? I think it would be a good idea to visit emergency as they will then have a record of your injuries as the police will be involved.

"You'll come with me?"

Tim said, "Yes, we'll both be with you." Adam didn't interfere as Tim was in his doctor's mode.

"Do you think you can stand up?"

"Yes, I've been able to do exercises, it was something which kept me from going crazy."

"Any bad aches or pains?"

Merlin who was certainly feeling much better as the end was in sight even if it meant a trip to the hospital said, "Some bumps and bruises. He kneed me a couple of times as I wasn't cooperating.

"Where?"

"He got me in the gut once and then in the ribs," he paused before adding, "…and he stood on my feet. They're sore but I don't think anything is broken, then he must have had second thoughts as he brought me my slippers."

Tim took each foot in his hand and said, "There's bruising but nothing broken. Let's get your slippers on and we'll get you up."

As Adam held the length of chain still attached to Merlin and helped him up, they heard the sirens of the police car and the ambulance.

Adam said quietly to Tim, "You see to Neil. Hopefully, he'll stay unconscious until they get him to the hospital. I remember the name of the police officer who was involved in Merlin's case so I'll see if he's still on the force."

"Ask for another ambulance as Merlin will have to go as well and the quickest way to be seen is if he arrives in an ambulance with a police escort. I'll go with him in the ambulance and get the paper work in order. Also, see if you can track down the doctor who looked after him the last time, an A&E doctor, a Bill Keating. The hospital will have all the records, hopefully computerised."

As Tim went into the other room, Nick came down the stairs, this time ahead of a policeman and a paramedic. He winced slightly on each step. Tim said, "You hurt yourself when he went for you. You'll have to go to the hospital so that someone will see to it. If you can stomach it, they might let you ride with Dr. Carver."

"It's only a sprain, I fell back awkwardly."

"No matter, the police will want to speak to you as you are a witness to what happened?"

"How's Merlin?"

"Adam's with him. He will also be going to the hospital for a checkup."

"Can I see him?

"Maybe, you should wait a while…"


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15 : A CORNER TURNED**

The paramedic was on his knees next to Neil and Tim joined him. He was more or less conscious but very confused not even remembering his own name, where he was or the day of the week. "We'll have to use a transport chair as the stairs make it impossible to use a proper stretcher," the paramedic said as he radioed up to his partner.

"There's another patient through that door, he will also need to be checked up. He has no broken bones but there are contusions and he was raped. By the way, I'm Tim Hughes, Cardiac Services at GOSH, London."

"I did some paediatric training there before moving here with my family. I thought I recognised you, one of the cardiac surgeons right? You were involved with the London-Paris Three-Day charity challenge."

Tim laughed and nodded, "The cycling was great, however it was the ferry that knocked me out…awfully sick, much to everyone else's amusement." By then they had a monitor on Neil and Tim pointed to the belt around his legs saying, "He's known to police. We were scared he's get away."

The policeman who had been taking notes, said, "I'll stay here with this patient though by the look at the way his legs are tied he wouldn't get far."

"Dr. Calderwood told me to do that," said Nick happy that he had been of some help.

They heard another paramedic on the stairs with the transport chair.

The policeman went into the back room where Merlin was, carrying a blanket and handed it to Adam saying, "The other man will go up first along with the young man with the sprained ankle."

Adam wasn't surprised to hear that Nick had been hurt, he had send Neil crashing into him.

"That one's my fault as I tried to take out the kidnapper. Thanks!" he said taking the blanket, "My patient has a handcuff which I can't open. It's attached to this chain. Here are the keys," He gave the keys over wrapping the fresh blanket around Merlin who had kept his eyes on the floor.

Merlin knew that the man was looking at him but felt that if he kept looking at the floor he wouldn't see the shocked and disapproving looks. He understood why guilty people tried to cover their faces and even though, God knows, he wasn't guilty of anything, he still felt unable to face the eyes of strangers. Adam's were fine and so were Tim's but not strangers'. They were too judgmental jumping to conclusions without many times knowing anything about the situation.

Policeman, paramedics and emergency hospital personal seemed to fall into a grey area as they had experienced so much of the dregs of life and seemed more understanding. He knew that another man had entered the room as a voice said pleasantly, "I'm Roger, so, what have we got here?"

He reminded him so much of what Gaius might say, that he again became weepy but Adam squeezed his hand and said that the man was another paramedic there to help.

Roger could see that Merlin's nerves were taut so he kept up a light banter telling Adam that he would be able to travel with Merlin and once his partner arrived with another transport chair they'd be ready to go. "Think you'll need anther blanket as it's quite rainy outside," he told Merlin.

Adam caught his eyes over Merlin's bowed head and mouthed, "Thanks!"

Merlin let the paramedic take his pulse and blood pressure. Adam could tell that he was fighting the desire to pull his arm away. He didn't want people touching him it was an invasion of his privacy.

Roger was good at his job, he smiled as he said, "You'll feel a lot better after a shower, a hot meal and a good sleep in nice clean bed."

Merlin knew that before that he would be poked and probed and even then, he wouldn't feel much better but at least it would mean that he was away from here. He never wanted to set foot in this building again and then he remembered that this was were his flat was which he had considered buying if or when it came on the market. Now he just wanted out!

He thought if he remembered correctly that there was only one more week at work and then he'd be able to go to Gaius.

…and then he remembered, Arthur!

How was he going to explain to him what had happened? He'd have to go back two years and start at the beginning. By the time he'd got halfway through, Arthur would probably have walked and who could really blame him! He was damaged goods both psychologically and physically.

Another man walked into the room with a thin folded metal wheel chair. "This will take you right to the ambulance. Are you ready, Mate?"

Merlin looked at Adam, "But I can walk, you saw me standing up all by myself. You said we'd go out soon. I want to walk..."

"We will but you will get a lift. Merlin, you would not be able to get up the stairs. You've been tied to a bed for five days. I know you've been exercising but I think it's best if you do what the paramedics want. Believe me, you'd be huffing and puffing after you walked to the bottom of the stairs. Come on, get in the chair and let these kind gentlemen get you to the ambulance." He offered Merlin his arm and he took it, gingerly standing as the second paramedic skilfully manoeuvred the transport chair so that he could sit down.

He thought, maybe Adam was right because he legs felt decidedly wobbly. He sat in the chair, not happily but at least he sat and let them strap him in.

Adam smiled saying, "All right, gentlemen, put your backs into it as this young man is very special." He put his hand on Merlin's hair and ruffled it. He was determined to get him as far as he could before he closed down...and close down he would.

Adam had seen it all before. Merlin had a long haul ahead of him but maybe with Arthur's support it might go a little faster. He'd have to phone him once Merlin was safely in the hospital. The man was certainly persistent as if he hadn't got in touch, Tim and he would never have known that Merlin was missing. He didn't want to think about what might have happened.

He didn't give a thought about Neil, whatever happened to him he deserved it. He was going to make sure that the police got all the facts even if it meant opening, with Merlin's permission, his previous file. The man was a menace and should kept away from the public.

Mrs Byrne was in the hallway and Merlin smiled weakly at her. "I'll keep you in my prayers, Dear!" she said as he was wheeled past.

Adam nodded telling her quietly that he'd keep her posted and promised to pay Merlin's next month's rent so she knew she wouldn't be out of money. It would give Merlin less worries about his things.

She said, "I'll keep an eye on the place for him. He's been a good tenant, causing no trouble. He's lucky to have a friend like you."

Adam smiled but felt that he was the lucky one, having someone as brave as Merlin as his friend. He followed the paramedics to the ambulance and got inside.

-0-0-

Arthur was finally back in his hotel. He'd be worried all day and felt that he had been awful company but Paul and Laurence seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Adam had never phoned and he was hoping to hear from him before bedtime. He sat staring at his phone which he had placed on the table in front of his sofa.

He wished he had all the background information on why this man had Merlin's phone and why he felt that he was his. He sounded like a real crackpot, then that made him feel worse as so called crackpots or as they were also called unhinged people can do horrendous things.

"Please, don't let anything awful happen to Merlin!" Little did he know that he was over two years too late. He'd never been one for prayer, sure at school they prayed at morning assembly and made weekly trips to the school's chapel but as he grew older it had faded into the background and was only occasionally called upon. He felt guilty as the last time previous to meeting Merlin that he had actually thought of praying was when his father's plane had gone missing and when Arsenal was in a big game. The latter was more like a passing statement, 'Please don't let them loose!' but he remembered that the earlier prayers were from the heart when he'd been really worried about his father.

He looked at his watch it was past seven, surely Adam would get back to him soon. The phone range and he grabbed it breathlessly saying, "Yes?"

It was Laurence who said, "Well, you seem to want to really hear from someone important but it's only me. Don't forget, we're meeting downstairs for dinner in fifteen minutes…I'm famished so see you in the bar as I'm sure they will have munchies of some sort. Also, I heard from Gawaine and he said he hasn't spoken to you since Thursday. Why don't you give him a call? You don't want to lose him as a friend," he'd laughed adding, "Even though he can really annoying at times. Anyway, see you at seven thirty."

Arthur hung up and thought of what Laurence had said, Gawaine was a good friend, he had done all the background work that had let him finally contact Adam. He owed him a call, however he decided that he'd wait until after he'd heard from Adam so he could bring him up to date. Anyway, he didn't want to be on the phone if Adam did get through.

Arthur had time to wash up and change into something suitable for dinner. He smiled to himself as Laurence although officially his PA had similar characteristics to a nanny.

He had everything in Arthur's business life organised. Since they had arrived here, he gave him a wake-up call in the mornings with a brief rundown of meeting times. Arthur would learn later that this courtesy had also been extended to Paul. He had all information at his fingertips, that they needed for the business day

He was so different from Gawaine who went through life complacently always trying to find an extra few minutes to get things done. He decided that Laurence was a godsend and he was pleased that he was fully enjoying his time in Kenya. On his first visit, he had absorbed more of the history and culture than Arthur ever had.

Remembering to take his phone, he made his way to the bar.

-0-0-

Adam had been asked to leave while the doctor on duty checked Merlin. The policeman who had received orders to stay there until, someone was sent to relieve him, waited outside. He had the feeling that there was more to this than met the eye. The other patient had been taken into an examination room but he could hear by the raised voices that he was not behaving himself. Security was called and arrived almost immediately.

Suddenly, he saw his sergeant coming down the hallway with another man in uniform obviously a Chief Inspector who greeting Adam whom he seemed to known and the two of them walked away a distance. He realised this case was of more importance than he had suspected. His sergeant told him that another uniformed officer would take his place and that he could then go back to the station to continue his shift. "Once the other chap arrives, get Roberts to pick you up." He then turned and joined the other two men.

Before he was replaced, the doctor who had been in the room with the man called Merlin, came out and talked to both the chief inspector and the man called Adam. The latter was then escorted into the room, while he stood outside and waited for his replacement.

Adam followed the doctor into the room, Merlin was on the bed with his eyes closed. Adam walked over and took his hand, "Merlin, it's me Adam. The doctor says that you will stay here tonight on fluids and then tomorrow you can go home which I think will be with Tim and I to London, if that is all right with you?"

Merlin neither opened his eyes or said anything but squeezed Adam's hand and nodded his head. Adam had not expected more as the doctor had told him that they had given him a light sedative so that he would hopefully sleep. He sat by the bed and when Merlin was fast asleep, he went to phone Tim.

Tim had returned to the hotel leaving the cellar and the flat to more police who had arrived after the ambulances had left. Adam arranged to meet him there later but first he wanted to check on Nick.

He found him sitting in the waiting room, with a crutch and his leg raised. A policeman was talking to him. He had nodded at Adam but continued his questioning of Nick. Finally he said, "Well, I'll be on my way. Someone else from the station might contact you during the week." He nodded at Adam then went on his way.

Adam offered to see Nick home, "Will you be able to manage by yourself?"

"Yes, I've spoken to my girlfriend and she'll come over." He stood up saying, "My ankle feels a lot better now that it had been bandaged, less dangly like…"

Adam laughed he knew exactly what he meant. "Do you like curry?"

Nick had not realised how hungry he was, he smiled, "Love it and there is a great curry take out near my place."

"How about we drive there, pick up some curry enough for your girlfriend and you and then I'll drive you home?"

"That would be so kind but I feel bad making you stay around longer as I know that you want to get back to Dr. Hughes and bring him up to date. Is Merlin going to be all right?"

Adam told him what the doctor had advised and how he would upon discharge be going back to London with them. I'll clear it with the university. They'll have to get someone else in."

About forty-five minutes later, Adam pulled into the parking garage at the hotel and made his way upstairs."

Tim and he ordered room service and Adam brought him up to date on what had happened at the hospital. "Merlin has agreed to go back with us to London, well, he did while he was under a sedative. I'll bring it up when I visit him. He should be out by tomorrow. It will mean driving him up here for meetings with the police but I couldn't let him go off on his own."

Tim agreed wholeheartedly suggesting that they get another room at the hotel and depending on what time he was discharged spent tomorrow night at the hotel.

"We can take turns staying with him. Knowing Merlin the way I do, he's going to be having serious nightmares. Poor chap, none of this was his own doing and once again it will damage his self esteem and he will have to rebuild his confidence. Remind me to phone Arthur once we finish eating, I'd like to at least be able to tell him that Merlin is safe and that he was directly responsible for that. I'm beat, I really just want to flake out on the bed, I'm too old for all this stress."

He also thought he should talk with Merlin's Uncle Gaius but he'd rather do that with Merlin beside him so that he could talk to him as well. Adam liked the man, he was a good person, solid and very supportive of Merlin. To begin with at school, he had thought that Gaius was Merlin's elderly father or grandfather as he always attended school events with Merlin's mum Hunith. He had got to know much more about him as Merlin went through therapy, he was Merlin's closest male figure and he had to credit the man for the support he had shown his great-nephew.

Tim interrupted his thoughts by saying, "All right, old man, you deal with things like this all the time but I know that when it is personal it takes more out of you. Nevertheless, I promise that when this is all over, you and I will go away for a week to somewhere remote and peaceful. Mind you, hopefully you will by then feel more like your old self!"

The fact that neither of them mentioned Neil was of little importance. Adam couldn't face wasting time talking about him, that would happen in the future and Tim really hoped deep down that they never heard his name again. He still had the video on his phone and he wanted to get it copied before he gave it to the police. It was an important piece of evidence as would be the fingerprints on Merlin's phone.

-0-0-

Arthur finally got back to his own room. No phone call yet! He got ready for bed and lay there with the phone beside him. He turned on the TV. Maybe he wouldn't get any news until tomorrow. He was so uptight that he knew that if he didn't hear tonight, he was going to try to contact Adam tomorrow. He checked the time, it was now after eleven, that would be nine something in England.

His mind drifted, the last time he head heard from Merlin was now a week ago, when he had phoned him once he had arrived back in Cambridge. Where had he been for the last week? He hadn't mentioned that he was going away or maybe he thought it was none of his business. He didn't have a boyfriend or at least, he hadn't mentioned one. Arthur was truly confused. He didn't want to let his imagination take hold or he would be coming up with innumerable scenarios some of which were probably going to be not only unpleasant but upsetting.

The phone rang, waking him. He grabbed it and muted the TV at the same time. He heard Adam's voice and he thought, 'Thank God, at least the waiting was over.'

"Arthur, it's me, sorry not to get to you until just now but Merlin is safe, spending the night in hospital on fluids."

"What happened to him?"

"A former boyfriend, the same man who spoke to you on his phone was holding him captive. I won't got into all the particulars but suffice it to say, that his spirits are good but the doctor wanted him in observation, on liquids until tomorrow. He's had limited food and even at the best times he's not very heavy so he has lost some weight."

"When can I see him?"

"Arthur, I can't answer that, he has spoken about you but I don't know what his state of mind will be tomorrow. He doesn't have his phone as the police took it as evidence but I will phone you tomorrow and if he's up to it, he might want to talk to you. I'd rather not say anything more at the moment , I'm just relieved that he's safe. I'm hoping he will be staying with us in London, as I can't see him wanting to go back to his own flat just yet…if ever.

"He's a little bit unclear as to how Tim and I turned up where he was being kept and I'm sure you can imagine that his self-esteem had taken a direct hit. He'll pull though as he has before." Adam froze, hoping Arthur had missed that last sentence.

He seemed to have as he said, "When you see him again, please, tell him I have been thinking about him. Thanks for phoning and I'll be waiting to hear from you tomorrow."

Adam said, "Arthur, remember that it was your quick thinking that we managed to get to him before anything more awful happened. Good-night!"

Arthur lay back on the bed and ran through what Adam had said: Merlin had lost weight, he'd been held captive by a former boyfriend, his phone was gone, he might not want to talk to him, he preferred not to say anymore…what anymore was there to say? What did he mean by he'd pull through, he'd done it before.

Trying to settle for the night Arthur knew that he now had more questions than ever and he doubted that he was going to get much sleep.

His mind was all over the place, he just wanted to get home. If he played his cards right, he might be able to get everything finished up here and be ready to leave on Thursday. He already knew the time of the flights, as Laurence had checked them for him. The BA flights left at eleven in the evening. If he was planning to go on Thursday, why not leave late Wednesday instead? The flight lasted about six hours so he would be at Heathrow by six something. If the job here was finished there was no reason for him to wait around. He'd run it by his father and hoped that he would agreed. All he really wanted to do was get on the plane and get home. This was one business trip which he would never forget.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16 : ONE STEP AT A TIME**

Later, a nurse checked in on Merlin, he was asleep but she could tell by his rapid eye movements and his pulse that he was having vivid dreams. She smiled sympathetically as that was all too often the sad reality for victims of abuse. Their minds wouldn't allow them the restful sleep they needed. Time and therapy would be the only medicine.

 _Merlin pushes them away; they refuse to leave him. He knows that he must fight these demons by himself. He knows of no one else who would be willing to stand beside him._

 _His actions prove that he is not worthy of saving, as he has for the second time let down not only himself, but his family and his friends. He will be doomed to l_ _iv_ _ing his life alone._

 _They tease him by saying, 'Arthur will not want second-hand goods. He will refuse to listen to your excuses and probably already regrets with a passion, the two days that he spent with you in London.'_

' _But he's not like that,' he tries to tell them._

 _They scoff further tormenting him as they say, 'That's what you think, you don't really know him…do you, Merlin? What two days? A lot of secrets can be hidden for two days, you should know you did your fair share of hiding the truth.'_

 _A light pulses in the corner of his mind and he feels it saying, 'Don't believe them! Arthur is different, he's good, kind and understanding. You'll just have to tell him everything and he will understand!'_

 _He thinks, '…maybe!'_

-0-0-

Adam was also having mini nightmares.

 _He opens the padlocked door to find a holstein in the room and Merlin nowhere to be seen. Tim is absolutely no help as all he wants to do is to get the cow up the stairs._

 _Then they are in Cornwall lying on the beach with the cow attached by a strap to Tim's deckchair._

 _The tide starts to come in and the cow becomes difficult, all he can think is that if it had been able to climb the stairs out of the basement, it should be able to walk up a gravel path. The sea is getting closer, he thinks of King Canute and realises there is nothing he could do to stop it._

 _The cow turns and walks into the waves with Tim on its back and they both disappear._

He suddenly jolted awake and realised that he was in bed; he turned over to find Tim beside him sleeping peacefully. He stretched out and decided to try to coordinate his breathing with his and maybe he too would fall asleep.

He awoke to sunshine, at first forgetting where he was or what day it was. Then he remembered the hotel and that it was Monday and Merlin would hopefully be allowed to come back to London with them. He had an appointment at ten with his police contact from Merlin's previous problems with Neil. He had kept him updated with what had happened recently and had fully expected him to be willing to discuss it with him, which he was.

They had breakfast and packed their bags, putting them in the boot of his car. They checked out, with the hotel agreeing that should they want to extend their stay, they could just phone as they had all their information on hand.

Adam wanted to go straight to the hospital but Tim persuaded him to visit the police first. Someone would probably want to visit Merlin and take his statement before they would agree to his leaving town. "Why don't you drop me off at the hospital and then there'll be at least someone he knows? I'll phone you once I've seen him."

His meeting with the police was short and sweet. Neil was in custody and was going to placed in the psych ward in the hospital for further evaluation. Seems he had caused so much trouble in A&E, that he'd been given his own room and he was restrained to the bed. Adam thought that was quite ironic. He knew the man was sick but his first loyalty was to Merlin.

Inspector Wilson saw no reason why Merlin couldn't go to London once the preliminary interview had taken place. He wanted to do it himself so Adam agreed to bring Merlin to his office. Merlin was familiar with him so that might make things easier.

However, there was a slight problem as Neil had filed a complaint that he had been assaulted.

"Well, Merlin didn't do it, he was chained to a bed behind a padlocked door!" Adam was furious, explaining that Neil was going to attack another man who had just come down the stairs and probably try to escape, so he had stepped in to stop it. Well, stepped in might be a bit of literary license as he had basically rushed forward and bowled him over. Wilson understood that but said that once a complaint was laid it had to be taken seriously. Chances are that it would be withdrawn but it was on the books.

He asked the inspector not to mention a word of this to Merlin as it would further upset him. He was also granted permission to sit in on Merlin's interview.

-0-0-

When Tim got onto the ward, Merlin was sitting up in bed looking a lot brighter than yesterday.

"Adam had to see Inspector Wilson so you will have to put up with me instead. How are you feeling?"

"Ready to get out of here. As you can see, I'm still on fluids but I'll be off it once they say I can go. I had breakfast and never has scrambled eggs and fried tomatoes tasted so good. I hadn't realised how hungry I was. Did Adam speak to Arthur?"

"Yes, he did and once you're out of here, you will be able to speak to him too." He noticed that Merlin seemed a bit perturbed by that, so didn't dwell on it. Adam was the better one for dealing with feelings than he was.

"How did you and Adam know to come to look for me?"

"We'll, when you had not phoned Arthur, he got worried and had his friend...is it Gawaine?" Merlin had nodded, "Well," Tim continued, "he had Gawaine try to get the phone number of our house and I spoke to him first and then Adam was able to contact him. You've got a very special friend there, not many people would have tried to contact us from Kenya because they were worried about someone."

Merlin had allowed a smile to crease his mouth but it hadn't, Tim noticed, reached his eyes.

So, he just said, "I'm sure he will be relieved when you talk to him. Sounds like a nice chap."

Tim took out his phone and Merlin said nervously, "I'm not ready to talk to him yet!"

"That's all right," Tim said quietly, "I was just going to phone Adam. Would you talk to him?"

Merlin smiled a real smile and said, "Adam? Yes, I'll talk to him"

Tim got through and handed Merlin the phone he took it and said, "Been saving any damsels in distress recently…?"

Adam laughed as Merlin sounded like his old self, "It's good hearing from you, are you behaving yourself?"

"Have to, as Broomhilda is the Ward Sister and I'm afraid of her! When will I see you?"

"As soon as I have finished at the station, shouldn't be long. Do you want me to bring in coffees?" He heard Merlin talking to someone and then Merlin was back and said, "Yes please, I'll take a chai latte and Tim wants an Americano. There's a Costa's opposite the hospital parking lot."

"All right! See you soon!"

He disconnected and smiled at Wilson. "Surprisingly, he sounds in pretty good spirits. Let's hope it lasts through the interview. See you around two o'clock then."

"Yes, I'll notify the receptionist to let you wait in my office if I am somewhere else. Thanks for coming in this morning and hopefully one, day we can lay this thing to rest once and far all."

-0-0-

Adam returned to the hospital to pick up Merlin and Tim. Merlin was fussing that he didn't have anything to wear. Tim's clothes which he had brought hadn't fit him, so he said, "How about, you two go wait here and I drop by your flat to pick up some things."

"Would you? I'm not ready to go back there yet." He paused before adding, "Or if I ever will be... Can you bring my computer...and my camera?"

Adam decided not to mention that the police had his photo card as evidence. One step at a time, he decided as he wasn't sure that Merlin knew that Neil had taken photos of him tied to the bed. He'd get it back but not immediately.

He realised that with so few tenants in the flats, when everyone was out, Neil had full access to Merlin's flat.

He knew that Merlin would feel safe with Tim and set out for Mrs. Byrne's. As a courtesy, he dropped in to tell her that Merlin was out of hospital and was going back to London with them. He explained that he was just picking up a few clothes and the like.

"...and have they put that awful man away? The police were around this morning checking on things. Don't feel safe in my own house anymore! I told Molly to be very careful who she talks to. I feel responsible for her, she's a good girl and her mum is my daughter's best friend."

Adam smiled, he knew that he was going to be in for a family history session so he managed to excuse himself by saying that he should pick up Merlin's stuff as Merlin was waiting for him.

"I hope everything works out all right as he's a nice young man, is Dr. Merlin…as you and your friend, Dr. Tim are."

Adam got both Merlin's computer and his camera. He decided he would suggest that he got himself an inexpensive phone until his was returned by the police. He grabbed clothes and other essentials and packed them in the bag which Merlin had used when he had spent a few days in London, two weekends ago.

Merlin sat quietly at lunch. Adam gave him time, he knew he had been through a lot at the hospital. There would be plenty of time in London for discussions, now he just had to keep calm until he had spoken to Inspector Wilson.

The interview went well. Merlin was focused and answered clearly and to the point.

-0-0-

Once they were through at the station, they were able to leave Cambridge. Tim was certain that Merlin gave a sigh of relief once they reached the M11.

After supper that night which they had around the kitchen table in London, Tim excused himself to catch up on his phone messages. The others knew it was to allow them to have a chance to talk.

Adam said, "I think you might consider phoning your mother today. When did you last speak to her?"

"Last Monday, she'll be expecting to hear from me. But, I can't tell her what happened...not yet!"

"You might tell her that you've been busy and that you are all right and looking forward to the end of the semester. It doesn't make sense for her to worry. Once you get home you can tell her what actually happened."

"Is it my fault that this keeps happening?"

"No, you are in no way to blame. You are just the person upon whom a sick man fixated. You'd moved on...he hadn't...he can't. He's not yet ready to face his problems.

"Remember how we spoke about it before, he needs professional help, even more than anger management, he was misdiagnosed and needs to be hospitalised. In hindsight, after this latest incident, it's obvious but at the time, the university stepped in and did what they thought would solve the problem and the very reason we are seated here now, is proof it didn't."

"I didn't encourage him, Adam…I just lay there. He got annoyed saying that he'd appreciate a little cooperation on my part. I didn't want to be there." He paused, seemingly lost in the moment. Adam noticed that he shuddered, "Doesn't he understand that he makes me feel physically sick when he touches me? Adam, is it me? Am I only ever going to attract men who think that loving includes the right to degrade and abuse a person?"

Adam put his arm around his shoulders and prayed that Arthur would see the light and accept that Merlin was one in a million and there was no need to be afraid of him. Once Merlin had told him of his past history with a certain Dr. Carver, he planned to have a chat with Arthur. His only hope was that Arthur was mature enough to hear the news and still stand by Merlin. He then thought, or at least not run away immediately he heard Merlin's past history.

He told himself that everyone has a history and he was sure that Arthur over the years had bumped into men who were overpowering and demanding in bed. All Merlin needed at the moment was someone who was going to listen to what had happened and not turn tail and run but stand beside him as he again would go through a rather difficult period in his life.

Adam although he had never met Arthur felt that he had feelings for Merlin and maybe he would be the strong friend whom Merlin needed in his life.

-0-0-

Merlin felt tired and was ready for bed, they eaten late and he'd had an exhausting day. Adam said they were going to turn in as well but if there were anything he needed just to wake him up. "I'm a pretty light sleeper but luckily someone who can fall back to sleep quickly."

At the hospital, the doctor had prescribed light sleeping medication which Adam recommended that he take, "It will just make it easier to fall asleep and you will feel more like yourself tomorrow"

Merlin looked him straighten the eye and said sadly, "Adam, I don't think I'm ever going to feel like my old self. I worked so hard after that first episode and now I am back in the same place."

"You're not, last time it took me ages to get you to talk, for the first couple of sessions you sat on the couch, hugging Victoria and completely ignoring me. Tim at one point suggested that you came to see the dog not me."

A smile played on Merlin's face, he remembered…he'd figured that Adam should just have been able to figure out what was wrong without him telling him. However, he had finally cracked and all the awful story had flooded out and surprisingly he felt a little better having shared it with someone whom he knew he could trust.

"By the way, where is Victoria?"

"When I spoke with Arthur and we decided to go to Cambridge, I left her with Mrs. Kemp who cleans for us. She likes her and Victoria is quite safe with her."

"Are you going to speak to Arthur again?"

"Yes, would you like me to phone him now and you could chat with him?" Adam reached for his phone. He didn't know what time it was there but Arthur had said to phone at any time

Merlin immediately shook his head and became agitated and said, "No, I can't…not yet! …maybe never!"

Not wanting to upset him, Adam said calmly, "Maybe later in the week?"

Merlin nodded not committing to anything as he stood and left the room, saying, "Good night and thank you for everything you've done for me, I must your worst reoccurring nightmare."

Adam had laughed and said, "Not exactly, more like a breath of fresh air!"

Glancing at his watch as Merlin left, Adam realised it was ten thirty that would be thirty minutes after twelve in Nairobi. He made a spur of the moment decision and called Arthur.

The phone is picked up almost immediately and Arthur says, "Yes?"

"Just thought that I would give you a quick update. Merlin is now back with us in London. He was released from the hospital early afternoon but we waited around to see inspector Wilson until mid-afternoon. Then we came right back here to London."

"How is he? Did that bastard hurt him?"

"Arthur, I can't really discuss details of the case suffice it to say, that he slept in the car on the way back, he ate supper and has now gone to bed."

"Can I talk to him?"

"I don't want to wake him but you have to understand that he feels upset about what happened and I would think in a couple of days he might feel more like talking. He's a private person and he keeps at lot to himself. I know he will as time goes by talk more about it but at the moment we are just skirting the situation. Are you a religious man?"

Arthur said, "C&E, marriages and funerals. Why?"

"C&E, that brings back memories, my cousin is a priest and his congregation used to refer to the Christmas and Easter worshippers as that. They used to complain that they expected a place to worship on important feast days but left the upkeep of the church on the shoulders of the people who went regularly. I know Merlin is quite religious and as you're so far away, maybe if you could remember him in your prayers it would be a way of keeping in touch until you can see him again."

"Don't tell him, I'm praying for him though as he'll think it strange."

"No, he won't, believe me. However, if you prefer it that way, I'll keep mum."

"I'm hoping to leave here Wednesday night so I'll be back Thursday morning. Could you let him know?"

"I will tell him but he mightn't be up for a visit?"

"You said that he was tired by then he'll have caught up on his sleep. He can sleep all day Tuesday and Wednesday." He paused, "Adam, is there something else, you're not telling me?"

"Arthur, I am not able to discuss Merlin's history. I am a health care professional and governed by patient confidentiality. Give him the chance to tell you himself. He speaks fondly of you and I am sure that he will be forthcoming when he sees you but don't push him before he is ready."

"Was he physically attacked?"

"Arthur, you're putting me in a no-win situation. I am a friend of Merlin from years back and don't forget, he is my patient...please trust me!"

"Do you think, he will ever talk to me?"

"I believe he will in time. I think he has great memories of his visit to London. He's unsure of how you will treat him."

There was a deafening silence before Arthur said, "Will you promise, that when the time is right, you will tell him that I want to see him and...that I can't forget him." He laughed quietly, "Between you and me, he is never out of my mind. I dream of him at night and daydream of him during the day!"

Adam went out on a limb as he said, "I believe he is also interested in you, just a little insecure at the moment. Goodnight, Arthur!"

-0-0-

Arthur didn't get the best night's sleep. His mind was all over the place.

Morning found him still tossing and turning. Knowing that Laurence would soon be checking that he was up. He took a shower then allowed the water to cool. Hoping that would wake him up.

His mind couldn't forget Adam's words, 'I believe he is also interested in you.' For a moment, he was flying high and then he fell back to earth as he realised that he also needed to tell Merlin a few things about his life. He had no guarantees that Merlin was going to be impressed with or even exactly happy about his secrets.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17 : FREEDOM AND RESTRAINT**

Merlin woke feeling better. He lay in bed and looked at the ceiling and tried to remember all the things Adam and he had discussed when he had first seen him after Neil's original attack.

The one thought going through his mind was that he had managed to come through the original situation comparatively unscathed, this second time wasn't as bad. True he was chained but Neil'a appearances had been few and far between and he had been able to block out most of what happened when he was there.

He could get over this he knew; he would rely on Adam's help when he felt that he needed it. He realised that to say that it was unfortunate that Neil had reappeared a second time was minimising the situation but he had been doing so well, had friends and his work, and then there was Arthur.

His mind went back to the two days in London, he really had fallen for him. He had acted as a gentleman demanding nothing more that a few kisses which Arthur hadn't seemed to have minded. Looking back, he realised that he had been the instigator and Arthur had accepted his advances with none of the usual insinuations which might have made their being together uncomfortable. He had just seemed happy to hold hands, he seemed very low key and just what he felt that he needed as an introduction back into the social scene.

He wasn't afraid of Arthur just of the look on his face when he had to tell him what had happened to him nearly two years ago and more recently. Deep down, he knew it had been his fault as he was immature as well as insecure and the fact that someone of such stature, a Fellow of the University had picked him out had made him feel so important. That importance soon turned to loathing and finally fear.

He could imagine Arthur saying, 'But how could you have been so stupid? You had free will you should have left him. Why would you ever let anyone treat you so despicably? I'd have smashed him back!' It was true Arthur was well built and could probably have taken care of himself.

The only answer he would have ben able to make at the time at to why he had stayed in such a situation was, 'I was afraid and he had such control over me that couldn't see a way out…'

He knew this answer was the result of Adam's work with him and sadly he was embarrassed to acknowledge that he would have added, "I didn't leave because I thought he loved me…"

He was beginning to feel ashamed of the mess he had made of his own life and then he remembered that Adam had said, he had actually been very brave to have finally sought help and not to have remained hidden.

It had also taken courage to bring it to the attention of the police. But in reality, because he had been hospitalised the A&E department had notified the police, it had really not been a decision he had made by himself, nevertheless he had told them all the sordid and embarrassing details and even gone a step further and reported it to the university and been interviewed by the university reps. Looking back, he realised that he had been strong as all he had really wanted to do was crawl into a hole somewhere and die.

And what had been the result of all the bravery and openness, nothing! He had again been assaulted and once again the interminable interviews had already begun. This time surely the university would stand by its guns and expel Neil or whatever it is that they do to their Fellows.

He watched the sunlight reflecting of cars and racing in patterns across the ceiling. He felt ready to face a new day and he swung his legs out of bed.

-0-0-

Tim had left early afternoon for Great Ormond Street so he had the place to himself until Adam returned home. A few days a week, he worked in one of the hospitals otherwise he saw patients in his office at home.

He knew that his mother was off on Tuesdays so he made lunch and sitting in the kitchen had phoned her. "Merlin darling, how lovely hearing from you and during the day too!" Her first question was, "Have you been keeping busy?"

"Very…end of term and all that, but the end is in sight and I should be seeing you soon, Mummy. I had a lovely weekend in London. Met up with friends and Lord Pendragon's son was there so that was nice as Gaius and I had had supper at the Pendragon's a couple of weeks ago."

"Who did you stay with?"

"Adam, Tim and Victoria… You should consider getting yourself a little dog, she's curled up on my lap now, listening to what we are saying…or sleeping, I'm not too sure which?"

"Well, just glad to hear that you are doing all right. When do you leave Cambridge and have you sublet your flat for the summer semester?"

"Yes, to questions one and three and sometime within the next two weeks for number two," he said laughing.

"Well, look after yourself and give me a ring before you leave so I can get more food in the house."

"Bye, Mummy, looking forward to seeing you in person."

He heard her say, "Goodbye and God Bless! Look after yourself, Merlin, you are very precious to me."

His voice caught in his throat as he said, "God Bless!"

She got off the phone, wanting to rush to Cambridge, he was in trouble, something had happened, mothers picked up on things like that as he only called her Mummy when something was wrong. He had said that the dog was curled up on his lap, he wasn't in Cambridge but at Adam's in London. He usually called her Mum but during the awful episode with that professor, he had reverted to the affectionate name Mummy, then he'd gone back to Mum and now again it was Mummy. She wouldn't feel right until she saw him in the flesh. Maybe tonight, she'd phone Gaius to see if Merlin had spoken to him recently. She got back to her gardening but couldn't help worrying.

As Merlin put down his new phone, he realised that he'd slipped up in mentioning Victoria. Perhaps, his mother hadn't picked up on it. Knowing her however, she was as sharp as a whip and picked up on, not only information but also nuances in his voice, He smiled as he realised, he wouldn't have had it any other way. He figured that within the next couple of days, he'd probably hear from Gaius checking up on him as his mother was worried.

He sighed, finished his lunch and stood up, Victoria plonked down on the floor. He took a few minutes to think about it, Adam hadn't said that he was confined to the house. Sure his back was still bruised as were his arms, neck and face. The arm which had been attached to the bed was a bit touchy, however he otherwise felt fine and wanted to go out for a walk. He needed the exercise, he wondered about it and then said, "Would you like to go out for a walk, Your Majesty?"

Victoria whirled around and ran to the door where her leash was hanging. "All right just let me go pee, get a jacket and we'll be on our way." This was one of the perks of owning a dog or even a cat, you were never really alone, even at the worst of times. His mind flashed back to Daisy and he shook his head, warning himself not to go there.

-0-0-

When he got back, Adam was there, he called, "Figured you two had gone out for a walk when I came back to an empty house."

"It was too nice a day to stay cooped up inside, Victoria and I went to the newsagents", he said flourishing a bag of sweets, "and also to the park. Did you know that there is another Charlie living on Handsome Square? Belongs to a politician's wife, she's old and has bladder troubles, the dog that is not the wife." He laughed and it made Adam feel good. "Their maid said that she is almost fourteen and apart from needing to be walked more often is in good health. I felt like saying probably spayed at a young age but decided not to get involved so said that even at her advanced age she was a lovely specimen of the breed."

"The dog that was I presume…not the maid!" said Adam thinking himself hilarious.

Merlin also laughed and threw the leash at him which he caught in midair. "Do you feel like going out for a bite to eat? Tim phoned that one of his patients has come in for emergency surgery so not to expect him back till around eleven if not later."

Feeling in good spirits, Merlin agreed, they could just go to a little Greek restaurant nearby but their plans were scrapped when Adam had a call from the police.

Adam's eyes flashed to his as he said, "Yes, it is! One moment, please." He turned to Merlin, covering his phone, he said, "Inspector Wilson's office and he wants to speak to me and it's important."

He noticed that Merlin immediately looked worried and uncomfortable, such a difference from less than a minute ago. "I can take it in my office if you prefer, however it probably involves you, therefore why don't you make us a cup and tea and we'll stay here as I take the call?" Adam suggested.

Merlin nodded, not looking too happy and walked to the counter to plug in the kettle. He thought, 'Why had the police to phone ruining a perfectly good day?'

He heard Adam say, "That is perfectly understandable. Yes, I will still be here until around seven. Can you give me and idea of what it refers to? Very well, I'll wait for his call." He looked up at Merlin and said, "Wilson's been called out again. No one was willing to say why he wanted to talk to me but his secretary apologised promising to get back to us as soon as her boss returns. It's probably nothing too important, just some legality. I'll still take that cup of tea if one is in the offing."

-0-0-

Merlin didn't feel as positive as Adam. For the last couple of years, calls from the police usually meant trouble, either the news that they could do nothing or the real kicker that Dr. Carver was serving notice of calumny as he had been falsely accused of assault and abuse and that his character had been defamed by one Dr. Merlin Emyrs. As it was, it was thrown out of court but not before it had sneaked its way into the local rag.

Adam seemed quieter than normal and Merlin feared that something had been said which he was not sharing with him. By seven, they had heard nothing so they went out ordered a takeout and were home within half an hour.

The news when Inspector Wilson finally spoke to Adam around nine was unexpected. He explained, "Dr. Carver had been under twenty-four hours supervision, he had subsequently become less of a danger to himself and the staff and had his restraints removed.

"Early Tuesday, he was moved from the hospital psychiatric floor and transferred to a psychiatric detention area on the tenth floor. We are in the process of following this up but it seems to be an unfortunate hospital error."

Adam said, "What do you mean by unfortunate error?"

"Well, Dr. Carver committed suicide this afternoon. His paperwork had become mixed up with another patient and he was incorrectly classified as a low risk, psychiatric prisoner and placed in an open detention ward, which consisted of twelve beds."

Adam was concentrating on the call when he glanced at Merlin he was standing at the table as white as a ghost. He reached out to him, got his arm and pulled him over to sit him on the couch. Telling him quietly, that he had nothing to worry about.

Inspector Wilson droned on, "Sometime between one fifteen and two o'clock, he somehow managed to leave the unit. He had made his way to a maintenance area on the roof and jumped. In his pocket, he had a note written on paper stolen from a nursing station stating that he was innocent of all charges and that his death should be attributed directly to Merlin."

Inspector Wilson paused before asking, "Would you prefer to tell your patient or should I phone him directly?

Adam knowing that it might be better coming from himself said, "I will take care of it."

"There will be a police inquest but I'm not sure if Merlin will need to be in attendance. The hospital would be having their own internal enquiry." He also added that he felt that Dr. Emrys would be relieved to hear that he would no longer be facing lengthy interviews.

Adam thanked him for the call and turned to Merlin.

Merlin said immediately, "It's Neil, isn't it what happened."

As calmly as possible, Adam gave him the gist of his conversation with Inspector Wilson.

As Adam had suspected, Merlin was not relieved he was shocked. He sat back on the couch almost in a catatonic state. His mind had trouble fully understanding what Adam was saying…Neil had killed himself.

Giving him a few moments while he plugged in the kettle, Adam decided that a shot of whisky was what was needed for both of them. However, in case Merlin refused the drink, he would over sweeten his tea as that was also used for shock.

A quiet voice said, "What did he do?"

Adam was all for telling the truth but worried that it might push Merlin over the edge.

Merlins repeated more distinctly, "Adam, you heard me the first time, what did he do?"

"He jumped from the hospital's top floor. He died instantly."

Merlin curled up in a little ball on the couch. "He always used to say, 'Merlin, you'll be the death of me!' and I am, aren't I?" Victoria joined him and kept licking his knee

It hurt Adam to see his friend so upset. He said quietly "No, Merlin, in no way are you responsible for his death! He made that decision on his own. I doubt that anyone could have stopped him. He was determined and in his sick mind, at that moment he felt that he was doing the right thing." He thought to himself, 'Neil, you are a bastard, you not only ruined his past life but you are determined to hurt him as much as you can mentally now if not physically.' He wondered if he was going to be able to keep Merlin as a patient or if he would need someone with more experience.

He was glad that Merlin was with Tim and him in London, there would be someone to keep an eye on him tonight. He couldn't shake the thought that Neil had won. Not only had he ruined Merlin's life but he had left him with an undeniably sordid memory of death which would cloud his mind for years to come.

Merlin suddenly said harkening back to his responsibility for Neil's death, "But I was, if I hadn't been involved with him he would still be alive. I feel like I killed him."

For a second, Adam had been confused but then realised that Merlin was back to his involvement in Neil's suicide.

"I told my mother I'd been busy and everything was all right, I lied to her and at the same time Neil was killing himself."

Adam walked over and made the tea. He came back to the couch and sat beside him. He poured two mugs and added a liberal amount of sugar. Merlin started to sob something about his grandmother giving him over-sugared tea and Adam put his arms around him.

That was how Tim found them when he came in, Merlin curled into Adam and Victoria sitting on Adam's lap with her paw on Merlin's arm, watching him intently with her head to one side.

Merlin had not heard him come in and Adam said quietly, "Get yourself a whisky, it's going to be a long night."

Tim brought over two whiskies and place one in front of Adam. "What happened?" he asked also quietly.

"Neil managed to escape confinement and jumped from the top floor of the hospital."

"…and Merlin?"

"Not doing too well, I think he's in shock but he's safe that's the main thing. There's left over moussaka on the stove."

"No, I 'm not hungry but I'll put it in the fridge for tomorrow!"

"How's your patient?"

"Great, she came through surgery without a hitch and will hopefully be able to lead a more normal life."

Adam smiled, he was so proud of Tim's expertise in paediatric cardiology. Merlin shifted his weight and he realised that he was dead to the world. As he thought it, he felt that it was an inappropriate thing to say at the moment but say it, he had.

He placed a pillow behind Merlin's head and easy away from him on the couch. Tim went and got a blanket and placed it over him and Victoria crawled over so she could be closer to him.

Tim and he retreated to the table and he told Tim everything which Wilson had told him, including the suicide note. "I didn't think he needed to hear that yet so I didn't tell him."

"What a mess! The hospital will have a lot of questions to answer. Did Neil have any family?"

"I don't believe so but if there is money, people will come crawling out to get it. I think money was no problem as according to his lifestyle he always lived high on the hog."

"I wonder what's the equivalent of that phrase if you're talking about a vegetarian?"

"Heaven knows! Probably something as disinteresting as affluent!" Adam said laughing before adding, "Have I told you recently how much I love you?"

"Yes, a few times in bed last night!"

"Well, I do and one of the things I loved the best is how supportive you are of my friends."

"Adam, if all you friends were as wonderful as Merlin, I think I might have to give up my practice and become totally involved in yours."

Raising slightly from his chair, Adam stretched over the table to cup Tim's face and gently kiss him…

…and Merlin slept through it all wrapped in a web of guilt.

-0-0-

Hunith had worried all day and finally called her uncle around supper time. She explained how she'd heard from Merlin but that she'd felt that he was hiding something. "Gaius, he called me Mummy and that usually means he's upset. Have you heard anything from him? He also let slip that he was with Victoria, that means he's at Adam's in London not in Cambridge and I know that the semester had not year finished. Do you think something is wrong?"

Gaius said, "Maybe he's been in London for the day and decided to stay over planning to get the train back to Cambridge the next morning. If you're really worried, I'll try to phone him. Don't worry about him, we know he's strong as after what he went through with that awful man he still managed to bounce back."

"Would you try to talk to him, I think Wednesday he has the afternoon off, maybe that would be a good time to get him. If I call him, he'll say that I'm treating him like a baby and worrying unnecessarily. I don't think he knows that mothers' worry about their children until the day they die."

"Hunith, leave it in my hands, I'll get back to you tomorrow. Goodnight!"

…and he did but not with the news that either of them had expected.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18 : TRYING TO LET GO**

Merlin was surprised to wake up in bed. He didn't remember getting out of his clothes. He stretched and felt good. It was bright and he could heard the pigeons cooing. He didn't have a care in the world.

He'd slept well, no bad dreams, no being chased, no futile effort to avoid chains. He got up and saw his clothes folded on the chair, he shrugged and pulled on his pants. He was hungry, he'd eat first and then get washed, if the day held, he'd go out for a walk again with Victoria. He wasn't sure of Adam's schedule but maybe if he was free, he'd also go out with them.

He walked into the kitchen and smiled both Adam and Tim were there. Merlin said, "Good morning! What has everyone planned for the day?"

Adam looked at him slightly surprised, this was a very different Merlin from the one whom Tim had carried into the guest room the previous night.

"Are you going into the hospital today, Adam, or could we go to out to the park picking up some lunch on the way?"

Tim looked at Adam and raised an eyebrow. The man in front of him was the old Merlin. "I've a full day at the hospital, Merlin, no gallivanting around for me," he said, leaving any actual conversation to Adam.

"Did you sleep well as you sound really upbeat today!" Adam said carefully.

"Well, it's a lovely day and as far as I can remember we weren't going to have a session today, were we?"

It struck Adam, that Merlin had wiped his mind clear of what they had learned yesterday evening. He decided to say nothing, let Merlin have breakfast, shower and maybe see if he remembered by himself. He hated the thought of reminding him about Neil as he sounded positive and looked alive, actually the best he'd seen him since his visit to London the previous but one weekend.

Tim left and Adam joined Merlin for another cup of tea while he ate a hearty breakfast. Merlin was acting as if he had no cares in the world but from experience, Adam expected at any time for him to come crashing to earth.

It happened when Adam's phone rang causing Merlin to jump. Adam watched him, paying less attention to the person on the phone than the man sitting opposite him who seemed to be mulling something over in his mind.

Adam finished his call and Merlin was still staring into space. He blinked and saw Adam looking at him. He said, "It feels strange, everything is all right, I have nothing to worry about. It is refreshing, I haven't felt like this in years, I don't think so anyway."

Deciding that this was a perfect time to talk, as he seemed fearless, as if he had eliminated all his demons but the fleeting look in his eyes told him that he was retaining some memories of yesterday. Adam asked, "Tell me, what did you do yesterday?"

"Adam," he laughed, frowning as if Adam were joking and said, "You already know, I got up late and sat around talking to Tim until he went to the hospital. Then I phoned my mother, took Victoria for a walk, came back and you were already home. We were going out for supper and..."

He stopped dead, eyes wide open mimicked by his mouth. Adam watched and the light went out of Merlin's eyes.

"I don't understand; how could I have forgotten the call?" He suddenly looked frightened again, "What happened? Why did I forget? I was so happy this morning but now, I'm not sure..."

"You didn't forget, the memory was just delayed. Your mind was protecting you. You have nothing to fear..."

"Because he is dead or because now I remember?"

"You will have to decide that. How do you feel now that he is gone?"

Merlin dropped his head and thought before answering, "When I think of the bad things he did to me...relieved. When I think of how he was when he first noticed me, I am confused. He did like me at one time and I stupidly loved him…that memory comes back, so now I'm no longer sure. I'm torn but at least now," he took a deep breath, "I know he's not hiding around a corner waiting to hurt me.

"Adam, I should tell the truth, I really wanted to go out alone yesterday but I was too scared." He looked suddenly younger than his age as he turned to glance up at Adam saying in a voice hardly over a whisper, "So, I asked Victoria if she would go with me." A slight sigh escaped his lips and he said, "I know it sounds silly but I really needed someone with me."

"I don't think that was silly, I think it was really sensible." Adam smiled at him. "You're doing very well. I think time in the park after lunch would be a good idea...may I come as well as Victoria?"

Merlin brightened visibly and said, "Only if you behave yourself!" He laughed and it did Adam good. He was on the way back, there would be obstacles but he'd make it…again!

-0-0-

They picked up some sandwiches, a chai latte for Merlin and Adam got a black coffee. They found a bench and sat in the park across from a school watching the students playing rounders.

Adam said, "I wonder why they don't play baseball, they do in the States you know?"

"Probably their PE budget doesn't cover costs of uniforms and bats. Remember how at school they offered cricket? Well, I always thought cricket would be fun, the bat is broader and it looks quite easy but I was hopeless. In the end, the teacher said not to bother putting the bails on the stumps when I was up to bat as either the ball would knock them down or I'd back into them."

Adam looked affronted and said, "That was neither kind nor a very positive attitude for a teacher to have. They're trained to be supportive and encouraging."

Merlin shrugged his shoulders saying, "True but can you imagine boys with little physical prowess taking your favourite sport and transforming it into a comedy routine. Poor Mr. Joncas, I'm sure having to do PE classes was not his intention when he decided to be a language teacher. Actually he was great teaching French, amusing, helpful and we knew he was proud of our efforts."

There was a moment of silence when Merlin stood up and took their sandwich wrappings and beverage cups to the litter bin. He stood staring at the pigeons scavenging around their park bench even though Victoria was lying on it watching them which was either foolhardy on their part or very trusting.

He returned to the bench and the pigeons were disturbed and moved away a little. He sat down beside Victoria and played absentmindedly with her ears. They were long, pendant and luxurious, a shiny black.

He suddenly said out of the blue, "In retrospect, what I regret the most is having him as my first. He was two-faced; he lied to me, professed his love and then made fun of me in front of his friends. I was hurt and made to look like a real fool. I didn't jump into bed with him right off, it must have been a month after we met..." he paused, looking so sad that Adam could almost feel his pain. "That will always be in my mind and I'm scared that if I were ever to get into another relationship, the feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing will return."

Adam decided to let Merlin talk, he would listen and encourage him. They were alone, the city traffic was distant and if Merlin felt comfortable talking to him here he would listen.

"I really am not sure where I am going. Things were bad and then you found me, I feel much better, still stiff and sore but my mind felt lighter. Then I realise a man is dead and I feel as if I should feel sad...but deep down I'm not. If I even suspect that I am feeling sorry, I run through in my mind all the rotten, nasty things he did to me and forced me to do to him."

He stopped and deliberately turned and looked at Adam, "Will these feelings ever go away?"

Adam said, "Time is a healer, think how far you have come over the past two years! You made wonderful progress, you became confident and positive about your future." He smiled gently and said, "As a well-known inspector friend of mine would say, 'It is just a 'bimp'."

He'd said the right thing as Merlin's face cracked into a slight smile and he said, "There is a 'beumb' in the 'reum'! Good old Closeau!"

Adam smiled at him fondly and said, "See, you're on your way. I have every confidence that you will get there, Merlin!"

He wondered if he should mention Arthur and how he'd said that he'd enjoyed his London visit, but he decided against it. Merlin was only getting his mind straight since the cellar incident and last night's news. Mentioning someone who he possibly liked mightn't be the best idea. He did however intend one day soon to discuss Arthur's return to the UK.

They completed the circuit around the park and made their way back to the flat. As Adam opened the door and Victoria charged in, Merlin said, "Thank you, for listening, you must sometimes get bored by my continual moaning about something which inadvertently I did to myself."

Adam stopped and said, "Merlin, you were young and innocent, we all learn by our mistakes, yours were, to begin with beyond your comprehension and then you were in so deep that you couldn't get out. I would think that many a man would have been lost, but you are a survivor…and somewhere there is someone whom you may or may not know, waiting for you."

Suddenly, Merlin felt his heart thumping in his chest and a smile appeared around his eyes as he thought of Arthur. However, would it be fair of him to bring into Arthur's life himself and all his currently unresolved baggage?

Then his heart dropped as he remembered the false joy of belonging to someone who professes to love you and the fear of that so-called love when he is deliberately hurting you. He said again in Adam's direction, "I could do nothing but wrong in his eyes and that fired his need to mock me privately and humiliate me publicly before his friends.

"Not one of his friends said anything to him. I could see that a few of them felt that he was out of line but nothing was said in my presence. I felt that I was completely alone. However, now I see that it was really none of their business as I had made my bed and had to sleep in it! I just pray that if ever I witness something like that I would have the sense to speak privately to the victim possibly offering him support.

"There were times when he made me feel that I was on a pedestal, at other times he made me feel like a piece of dirt." He smiled sadly saying, "But you've heard it all before…why am I still harping about it?"

Adam explained, "It's a process of getting it off your chest as my mother used to say, not a professional phrase but the truth. You acknowledge the facts, accept your part in them and put it behind you. As you face difficult things, you become stronger. Keep telling yourself, I am my own person.

"You've had a set back because of your recent run in with him but you were coming along and then yesterday you ran into a minor block. Could you use it as a door to close your history with Neil?"

"I don't know, I've been all over the place since Monday night. Just when I thought I had it all behind me, locked away in neat little boxes, now, it's flying around out of control. Adam, what am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing! Your mind is processing what has happened. Give it two weeks, and you will feel differently. You know you can do it as you already have come so far." He paused and said, "How does a beer sound?"

Merlin said with a straight face, "Phhssst!"

Adam laughed and closed the door behind them.

-0-0-

Early Wednesday, Adam called Arthur. He was pleased to hear him and asked about Merlin. Adam explained that there had been a setback as Merlin's ex-boyfriend had committed suicide on Tuesday. "It's been a shock for him and he's all over the place. At least he's talking which is a good sign but it has brought back all the problems he's had with him."

"Is he sad?"

"Confused is a better word to explain how he feels but as long as he is willing to talk, he will get back on the straight and narrow sooner."

"Can I be of any help? I can see him tomorrow once I'm back in town."

Adam said slowly, "As Merlin's therapist, I am going to ask you a big favour. Could you try not to get in contact with him for a few days?"

He could tell be the intake of breath that Arthur was surprised. "But, I'd never hurt him. I could just keep him company…maybe go out for a coffee if he wanted. Adam I swear with God as my witness, that I would never hurt him!"

"I know that but he needs to get things straight in his mind before he begins to socialise with friends. If he does that too quickly, it might take him longer to get the peace he needs. I'm not trying to separate him from his friends. He just isn't ready. I know that he really enjoyed the time he spent with you."

Arthur's voice had an edge to it as he said, "Then, why are you keeping him away from me? What happened to him? Why can't you at least give me an idea? I have the worst of thoughts going through my mind, it's driving me crazy…"

"All right, Arthur, calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down, you at least can see Merlin, I'm stuck here. I'm going to call him right now, regardless of what you say and let him make up his own mind…!"

The line went dead!

"Well, that sounded as if it went well," Tim said with a smile. "Did someone actually hang up on the renowned Dr. Calderwood?"

"It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last! He's going to phone Merlin which he can't because he hasn't his new number. The police recommended changing it then Neil couldn't get in touch. What a mess! I feel for Arthur as I believe he is genuinely good-hearted but maybe a little impulsive at the same time."

The two of them sat, there and within a half hour the phone rang. Tim said, "My bets are on Arthur's phoning to apologise, maybe not but if it is I'll give him top marks for trying and when you've finished talking you owe me a whisky."

Adam checked his phone, it was an international number, he decided to make sure that Arthur knew that he respected him and answered by saying, "Arthur, you called back, thank you!"

"Sorry, Adam, maybe the heat and the distance from home got to me, I am usually not that rude. I couldn't get Merlin, is he not answering his phone?"

"On police advice, he got another one and a different number. The only person he has called on it is his mother. He knows that you are still in Nairobi but not when you are returning. Please, trust me that I am not trying to be difficult I just have Merlin's wellbeing in mind."

"I know, it's just that I really want to see that he is all right." He sighed and added, "However, I will respect your decision as his therapist and wait to hear from him when he is feeling better. In the meantime, can I phone you to find out how he is doing? You don't have to tell me any private stuff, just 'Yes, he is doing well today or today hasn't been a good day.' And then hopefully one day, you will say, 'Arthur, Merlin would like to see you!"

"Arthur, you will make someone a great friend. You may keep in touch but if I say that I can't talk, it is because Merlin is with me. You can reach me when I'm in the clinic at 20 7323 8299. Did you get a seat on the evening flight? Phone me tomorrow to let me know that you arrived back safely."

"Thanks, Adam, I'm glad Merlin has you to look after him. Speak to you tomorrow!"

"I was right!" said Tim, "You owe me a whisky tonight, maybe we should make an evening of it and go out for supper. It'll give Merlin a chance to get out and about with other people and yet feel safe as you are with him. I'll make reservations."

"You know the more I speak to Arthur, the more I can see that he would be good for Merlin. He seems genuinely concerned about him. Who knows, maybe Merlin's next boyfriend will live in One Tower Bridge?"

"You, Adam, are a real romantic! Guess that's why I like you! I'm going to start breakfast. Victoria is looking at me with her eyes crossed which means she needs to go out."

Adam thought to himself, 'I must not get involved with Merlin and Arthur's friendship. Regardless of what I think. It is a decision which they will have to make by themselves.' He smiled and said out loud to no one, "However, I think it might work if Merlin will let it!"

-0-0-

Arthur had put the first class tickets on his business credit card figuring that if his father wanted him to fly to distant places, the company could foot the bill. He had laughed when Paul said that for the price of this seat, "My whole family could have flown economy…"

Laurence had told him, "Enjoy it as flying like this on long distance flights is a luxury. You'll get all the beauty sleep you need and be able to welcome you beautiful wife in fine style."

Arthur told them that he didn't want to see either of them until Monday morning. Laurence had made him laugh as he had said knowingly to Paul, "One of the perks of travelling with the employer's son! Anything planned for this weekend, Arthur, seeing friends and the like?"

Arthur shook his head and said to himself, 'I wish!'

Their flight was called and once everyone was loaded, the BA flight lifted off flying east across Sudan, Libya, The Mediterranean, France, The Channel and finally home.

-0-0-

Arthur told the steward that he didn't want to be disturbed until they were over France. He placed a bottle of water in front of him and allowed himself the luxury of stretching out in his First Class seat. He drifted off.

 _Merlin is waiting for him at Heathrow, he's waving wildly and holding a helium filled balloon with FINALLY printed on it. He keeps blowing kisses and looks absolutely adorable._

 _Arthur wants to race through immigration to be with him, to touch him and hold him safely in his arms. Whatever had happened while he was away is no concern of his...Merlin is there waiting for him._

 _He shows his passport at immigration and is waved through. He grins, Merlin is so much closer now, just on the other side of the doors._

 _Arthur bursts out looking for the balloon which will lead him to Merlin. He can no longer see it, he laughs always kidding, Merlin is obviously playing games with him._

 _Then, he sees him having an animated conversation with an older man whom Arthur notices puts his hand on Merlin's upper arm. Merlin seems to be shaking it off but he grimaces as the man must have applied pressure. He looks frightened._

 _Arthur calls, "Merlin, over here!"_

 _He sees Merlin turn and look at him as he is physically removed from the arrival lounge by the older man._

Arthur woke to the sound of the engines. What a stupid dream! He knows Merlin is with Adam and the man in the dream was too old to be Adam. Maybe he was Merlin's father but then he remembered that Gaius had mentioned that Merlin's father was dead. He checked his watch it had just gone two o'clock in the morning. He took a sip of his water, fixed his pillow, pulled the airplane blanket over his shoulder and settled to sleep, and was again lulled to sleep by the monotonous drone of the engines.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19 : SUSPENSE VERSUS REALITY**

…Arthur fell into a deeper sleep.

 _He races after Merlin but he realises_ _that he doesn't recognise where he is. The airport is gone and the buildings are classical, spires and long thin stained glass windows. People race around in gowns and students whip by on_ _bikes._

 _He sees him in the distance entering a door off a quad, he is not alone. He races and manages to get there before it closes completely, no porter is to be seen. He hears voices ahead of him on the old stairs. He knows he's in student halls in a university._

 _The voices are raised, one threatening, one pleading. His heart is in his mouth as he hears Merlin say, 'Please, don't make me. Please!'_

 _A_ _n older more authoritative voice says, 'I told you, you're mine…totally. You will not look at or talk to another man outside your work here. You, Merlin, are nor bright enough to cover your tracks so I_ _will find you and kill both you and your man friend.' There is a pause and the voice continues, 'Sometimes, I wonder why I even pay any attention to you as you are sexually inept as well as stupid.'_

 _He hears a slap and Merlin cry out and he dashes up the stairs but the corridor is doorless and they are gone._

-0-0-

He woke to his heart hammering in his chest with the drone of the plane's engines in his ears. He fought for his first breath, slowly gaining an acceptable rhythm. What in heaven's name was that about? He glanced out the window beside him and saw the suspicion of light on the horizon. He flicked his screen on to the flight plan, the plane icon was now over The Mediterranean. He shook his head and pulled his chair into an upright position.

He didn't want to fall asleep again, he was too scared of what he might dream. The steward noticed that he was awake and came over to ask if he could get him anything.

Arthur asked if he might have a snack and maybe some tea. The steward said, "Sir, is a chicken sandwich acceptable?"

Arthur nodded adding, "Toasted?"

The steward said, "Certainly, Sir." Within minutes, the man was back with a chicken sandwich, a small fruit salad, a cup of tea and two biscuits. Arthur thanked him and he left.

He looked at the meal, impressed that there was no plastic wrap in sight, he had proper chinaware and real cutlery. Oh, the joys of First Class, where for the staff nothing is an imposition. No wonder, his father always travelled in style.

He glanced across the aisle at Laurence who was asleep snoring gently.

Arthur did not trust himself to fall asleep so he read until breakfast was served, he only had a cup of coffee. Laurence woke up declaring that it was one of the best night's sleep he had ever had, "How about you?" he asked.

Arthur said, "Not bad, was hungry as I hadn't eaten any supper so I had a snack somewhere over The Mediterranean." Laurence nodded and started his breakfast. Arthur glanced out, they were over The Channel, Heathrow would be next.

-0-0-

He glanced at the crowd in the arrival concourse afraid that he might see Merlin with the balloon. He wanted to see him but not like that. The dream was still too vivid in his mind. He knew that until he actually saw him in person, the strange feelings would persist.

Paul and Laurence caught up to him and they walked outside. Ruthers was standing with his cap in his hand. Arthur nodded at him, "Good Morning, Ruthers! Sorry to get you up at this ungodly hour. Mrs. Ruthers must have been blessing me."

"No, Sir, just part of the job. I'm glad to see you home safely in 'Dear Old Blighty'! Mr. Alistair says that I am drop you first and then the other two gentlemen. Your father's in Edinburgh for the rest of the week and will expect you in the office on Monday."

"Thank you!" Arthur said. Ruthers must have been well over seventy, he had been one of his father's first chauffeurs and he kept him on in various positions as he had proved that he was trustworthy and capable.

Laurence had glanced at Arthur a few times on the drive into London. He seemed rather subdued but he attributed it to the long flight.

-0-0-

Arthur opened the door to his condo. He was bushed; the mental stress and the lack of sleep had caught up with him.

He stopped by the hall table to check his mail. Once in his flat, he flipped through it and grinned. There was a postcard of King's College and the reverse side beside his address was a hand-printed line which read, "Well caught!" Below it was a capital M with two small x's. It was the only thing that he had of Merlin besides the photos he had sent him of their days in London.

Leaving the rest of the post where it was, he went into his bedroom and propped it up on his dresser. The smile didn't leave his face until after he had showered, turned on the air-conditioning and thrown himself on his bed.

Merlin must have mailed it on Monday as it was postmarked seven a.m. Tuesday. Whatever had happened, had happened after he had put it in the post. That accounted for Monday but what had happened between then and when Adam had found him on Sunday.

Arthur tentatively closed his eyes, he didn't want a repeat of last night's dreams. The sound of the air conditioner conveniently blanked out all city noises and he fell into a deep sleep.

He was cold when he woke up and he pulled a blanket over himself and lay there with his hands behind his head. His radio read 13.03 Merlin had teased him, at Greenwich, "Isn't it bad enough that airline companies use the international clock?"

He'd laughed and said, "Think, Merlin, if I promise to meet you at nine in the evening and you thought I meant nine in the morning, if I had said twenty-one hours, you wouldn't have been standing around all day getting hot under the collar as you waited twelve hours!"

Merlin had said scoffing, "As if that was going to happen!"

Arthur hadn't been sure if he meant that he would never been meeting him or that he was smart enough to figure out if he had meant a.m. or p.m." He hoped it had been the later.

He got out of bed and finally arrived in the kitchen where he put one of his Costa pods into the coffee maker and smiled. He'd not had what he considered a decent cup of coffee since he'd left the UK. He grabbed a box of muesli and sat down to go through the rest of his correspondence.

He tried to ignore it but in the back of his mind, he wondered if it were too soon to phone Adam to let him know he was back in town or if he would be pushing his luck.

He had no plans for the weekend as with his father in Edinburgh, he was quite happy to stay in town, closer to Merlin. His phone rang and he grabbed for it, he checked the caller and his heart jumped! It was Merlin. He said, "Where are you...can I come to see you?"

A stranger's voice said, "This is PC Alan Law, Cambridge Constabulary. I am phoning all the names on a phone I have in my possession. Could I have you name and address please?"

Arthur said, "I know the owner of the phone but would prefer to talk to you on an official police line." He had after all, been well trained over the years by his father that stating a request at the beginning can save trouble later on. This would also prove that the caller was from the police.

The man on the other end of the phone said, "Quite understandable! Phone this number and ask for PC Law."

The phone rang and it was a receptionist who put him through to Law. He explained that he was involved with a recent abduction case. He just needed Mr Pendragon to answer a few questions.

"How long have you know the owner of the phone in question?"

Arthur counted back to the birth of Heather's foal and said, "Around a month, give or take a few days."

"When did you last see this person?"

Arthur said, "Sunday the twelfth around four o'clock at King's Cross."

"Has he spoken to you since?"

"Yes, he phoned that evening after arriving in Cambridge."

"Do you know any of his family or friends?"

"I've known his great uncle since I was a child...and I have spoken on the phone to the friends he stays with when he is in London."

He felt that DC Law was making notes as there was a pause before he said, "…and their names?"

"His great-uncle is Gaius Augustinian and the London friends are Adam Calderwood and Timothy Hughes.

"Yes, I already have those names."

Arthur could hear shuffling of paper and then, "Where were you from Tuesday the fourteenth to Sunday the nineteenth?"

"I left on a business trip to Nairobi the evening of Monday the thirteenth and I only arrived home early this morning."

"Can anyone vouch as to your whereabouts?"

"The business associates who travelled with me, immigration in Kenya and our company's offices in Nairobi."

"Are you the person in the London photos on the phone?"

Arthur felt uncomfortable as he couldn't be sure that there weren't some silly shots of him. He decided to set the truth. "Yes, Merlin used his phone and camera to take pictures while we were at The Tower and at Greenwich and anywhere else we went to over the weekend."

"Thank you for being so forthright. Your answering my questions will help us get to the bottom of this. May I get in touch again if necessary?"

Arthur managed to say a strangled yes, and turned off his phone. This was going too far, now he was being questioned by the constabulary like a suspect. Then he thought of whatever it was that Merlin had been through and he stopped thinking of himself.

He needed to speak to someone. He wanted to speak to Merlin but he would settle for Adam. After all those questions, he was due at a least a little explanation. Maybe it would be better to talk to Tim as he wouldn't be hampered by client confidentiality.

First he phoned Adam's office but there was only a machine. He phoned Adam's personal number and heard it ringing.

-0-0-

Merlin and Adam were sitting at the kitchen table talking. Adam had heard yesterday from Inspector Wilson that calls were being made to numbers saved on Merlin's phone. He felt it only fair to tell Merlin.

"What do you mean…they are phoning my friends about their whereabouts?" Merlin had said obviously shocked and annoyed,

"It's just a police procedure, you've nothing to worry about."

"But if they phone my mother, she will be upset and scared."

"I don't think they'd phone her. Anyway, she won't worry as you have already spoken to her and she knows you're all right."

"Well then, as they know that Neil was to blame and they have proof, why do they have to bother my friends? I'm never going to use quick-dial on my phone ever again."

"They'd still be able to see the callers, you know what it's like today, nothing's really hidden."

Merlin got a little hot under the collar at that and said, "Well, I want my own phone back and also my camera. All my pictures of London are on that card."

Adam voice never changed but he knew that there were more than just the London pictures. Neil had added a few of his own. "I'm sure you'll get everything back. They're safe in a police station," he smiled trying to lighten the mood, "At least, they won't get stolen."

The phone sitting near Merlin rang and he picked it up glancing at it as he went to hand it to Adam. His eyes caught the caller ID and his hand had in a flash tightened on the phone.

Adam said levelly, "Merlin, give it to me." But he wouldn't and the phone continued to ring. Adam made a quick decision, maybe Merlin was ready so he finally said, "Answer it…as he'll hang up if you don't!"

Merlin's face was white but he put the phone to his ear and tentatively said, "Arthur?"

Adam presumed Arthur had answered as Merlin's eyes caught his just before a tear ran down his cheek.

Thinking quickly, Adam said, "Why don't you invite him to join us here for late lunch?"

Arthur could hear the conversation between the two of them quite clearly. He heard Merlin say, 'Should I?' and then Adam saying, 'Well, you want to see him don't you?' to which he heard Merlin mumble, 'Yes…'

Adam took the phone and holding it so that Merlin could listen he said, "Hello, Arthur, would you like to join us for lunch around two-thirty? I will be busy later this afternoon so you and Merlin can have the place to yourself."

Arthur answered quickly, "That would be lovely, its twenty-seven isn't it?"

"Right! Here's Merlin again…"

Merlin's voice a little flustered said, "You will come won't you? Adam even has Costa pods…"

Arthur could tell that Merlin sounded a little stressed so he said with a laugh, "I'll go anywhere for a Costa. Bye, Merlin! See you at fourteen hundred thirty hours."

He heard Merlin laugh and could imagine him shaking his head as he said, "Good bye!"

-0-0-

Arthur jumped into the air holding his phone over his head and said, "Yes, yes…yes!" He was going to see Merlin again and in case there was any awkwardness Adam was going to be there for a little while.

He was a little worried about how to approach him, bursting in and sweeping him off his feet and swinging him around although fine ten days ago was maybe not such a good idea today. He'd let Merlin set the scene and play it by ear. He wasn't going to ask questions about what had happened as although he had a rough idea, he'd let Merlin tell him in his own time.

He checked the time, he had time to shower and choose something nice to wear, casual London he decided. He wouldn't drive, no sense in being late because he couldn't find parking, he'd take a cab.

He couldn't believe that he had heard Merlin's voice and would soon be seeing him. He laughed at himself, he really had it bad and then reality came crashing down as he realised even if Merlin might have a few things to explain, he also had his secrets.

Today he decided was not going to be about revelations, it was just going to be two friends meeting up again. He looked at the postcard on the dresser and opened his top drawer. In a little wooden box wrapped in tissue was a gift he had bought for Merlin. It was a three inch high, young giraffe carved in a Maassai mineral called confetti sunstone. You could balance it on your palm. What he would do with it he didn't know? Nevertheless, when he had seen the crystal with the orange-red platelets, he had for some reason thought of Merlin which in his mind had been a good enough reason to purchase it. Arthur wrapped up the giraffe and returned it to its box. He put the carving away, perhaps next time.

Once he was almost ready, he phoned downstairs to order a cab. He never had to wait, a London taxi always seeming to be waiting outside. As he was about to leave home, he dashed back and pocketed the little wooden box.

-0-0-

Merlin put down the phone his hand shaking, he thought, 'What had he done?'

Adam seeing his worried look, ignored him. If the worse happened he would entertain Arthur and Merlin could if he felt so inclined hide in the guest room. He said brightly, "So what are you planing to serve your guest? How about something easy like eggs and bacon or crêpes with some kind of stuffing?"

Merlin added, "... crêpes with eggs and bacon stuffing? Sounds good to me! Are you making it?"

"Well, as you are not yet showered, I guess I will. Go and get ready and get that hair of yours under control," he said as he ruffled Merlin's hair in passing.

Merlin was full of confidence as he got into the shower. It would be fun to see Arthur again, they'd got on so well and Arthur would have lots to tell him about his trip. Slowly, his confidence ebbed and by the time he was ready to blow dry his hair, he had second thoughts. What if Arthur was judgemental, accusing him of not only encouraging Neil advances but also of enjoying them?

In his mind, that didn't sound like Arthur, nonetheless you never really knew what a person was thinking after knowing them for around a month. Look at Neil!

Adam had told him that he would never forget Neil but as time passed he and his sordid history would be pushed further back in his psyche. He'd tried to get him to say that it would be so far back that it would never bother his again but Adam wouldn't.

"I can't guarantee that you won't have dreams with remnants of the past, maybe nothing more than a small glimpse, a flicker of consciousness but time is a great healer and if you are happy with your life it will be able to push those thoughts away. I don't intend to leave you wallowing around in despair, together we will face this problem and the stronger you get the sooner, I'll only be seeing you on a casual basis when you crash here overnight on your visits to London."

Merlin thought that had sounded reasonable and he had worked hard getting his mind around what had happened but it hadn't worked out that way as out of the blue Neil had once again invaded his life.

There had been times when he had often thought that he had been lucky as he was alive not buried in some shallow grave leaving his mother to spend her remaining years waiting for him to come home. It happened, he knew it did…

It surprised him that he felt so positive about this meeting…well, he did at the moment…! He knew that there were going to be glitches along the way but on the whole standing in the guest room, he felt sure of himself. He'd liked Arthur from their second meeting when Arthur had been tongue tied and so unlike the man he'd later met that Friday in London. The next two days had proved to him that he was interested in learning more about him.

-0-0-

Merlin finally came downstairs, Adam had the kitchen table set, food prepped, ready to cook.

"Tea or coffee?" Adam asked. He was determined to keep the conversation light, he needed Merlin to feel sure of himself at least until Arthur arrived and then he would have to sink or swim on his own.

"I'm pretty sure Arthur would like one of the Costa coffees. Do we have any dessert?"

"Check the biscuit tin, I'm sure there are some there, unless you've scoffed them!"

"Not likely, if they're gone, you can blame Tim. He's the one with the sweet tooth around here."

Merlin glanced at his watch as he went to get the biscuits. Two o'clock, Arthur must have already left his place. He couldn't settle and at twenty-five past, he announced that he would go so he could let Arthur in.

Adam smiled they had a perfectly good bell and he was sure that Arthur could figure that a ground floor flat didn't involve climbing a flight of stairs, nevertheless he said nothing more than, "Good idea!" Merlin's pacing had been getting on his nerves.

-0-0-

Arthur had left in plenty of time as he needed to be under control, he was torn with the desire to see Merlin and the worry that if something bad had happened to him that he might at the last moment have changed his mind and when the time came would decide not to see him.

He had given the cab driver a number a few houses from Adam's flat, as he felt that a short walk might settle his nerves. When he closed his eyes, he saw Merlin waving to him from the Cambridge train. Then he remembered his own panicked calls to Adam, who had a certain reticence in directly answering his questions and then DC Law's phone call.

He climbed the black white tiled stairs to the front door. He took a deep breath lifting his hand to ring the bell, the door opening as if by magic and Merlin stood there...


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20 : TO BARE A SOUL**

Merlin froze like a rabbit caught in the headlights as Arthur tentatively smiled. The smile was contagious and it took away Merlin's momentary fear and he relaxed returning Arthur's smile. Neither spoke, the two of them just stood smiling and almost simultaneously they said each other names breaking the spell and causing them to laugh.

Merlin dipped his head and blushed slightly and Arthur's heart was doing somersaults in his chest. Whatever had happened in the interim they were back together and that as far as he was concerned was all that really mattered.

Still standing on the doorstep, Arthur asked hesitantly, "May I come in?"

Merlin face broke into a slight grin and he said, "Oh, yes! Please do, I'm all flustered as I am so happy to see you again in the flesh…well you know what I mean…"

"In my human form?" said Arthur with a laugh.

Merlin took his hand and pulled him into the dimly lit hallway. "Adam's place is through here, follow me," and still holding hands, Merlin made his way with Arthur in tow. "He's seen photos of you but only ever spoken to you on the phone."

Merlin stopped at a door, turned to look at Arthur, squeezing his hand then walked into the flat.

Adam stood up and came over, ignoring the clasped hands thrilled by the grin on Merlin's face and the look of adoration on Arthur's.

Merlin said, "Adam, this is my friend, Arthur whom you've spoken to but never actually seen in real life." He grinned, then added cheekily, "He's come for lunch!"

He turned to Arthur and said formally, "Arthur, this is Adam Calderwood, well actually Dr. Adam Calderwood."

"Call me Adam. Merlin and I have been friends since we were youngsters."

Arthur looked at the slightly older man and grinned, "Pleased to meet you. Merlin has spoken highly about you and Tim, and not forgetting Victoria." He said, as the little dog was bouncing around trying to get some of the attention.

Laughing Adam, walked back to the kitchen followed by the others as he said, "Lunch is almost ready, it's crêpes stuffed with bacon and eggs," he laughed adding, "don't blame me as that was Merlin's choice. How would you like your eggs and do you like crispy bacon?"

Merlin looked from one to the other thrilled at having the two of them meet.

Arthur said, "I think scrambled eggs and crispy bacon would go well in a crêpe."

"Me too!" Merlin added.

"Well then, it seems that we have a majority as that is what I want as well," said Adam laughing. "Merlin, why don't you get Arthur a coffee?"

Merlin crossed the kitchen and returned with two coffees. "Do you want yours now, or after you've finished cooking?"

"I'll take it now, the crêpes are done, the bacon is nearly crispy and the eggs are ready to be scrambled.

"Why don't you two sit at the table and catch up on things?" Adam wasn't stupid he just wanted to see how they would get on and whether he would be taking his patient this afternoon or cancelling to stay and keep Merlin on track if Arthur should suddenly get up and leave.

"I never got that chance to ask you on…on Tuesday night, but how was your trip?" Merlin's voice seemed strained but at least he was making an effort.

Arthur helped immensely by being sensible, instead of saying, 'My trip isn't important what happened to you?' He said, "Well, I was really tired as the flight seemed interminable and Laurence who was sitting beside me snored."

"Did he fall asleep on your shoulder?" Adam asked to keep the conversation light. He wanted Merlin to feel more secure before anything upsetting came up.

Merlin laughed, "That happened to me once, I was coming back from Rome, I must have dozed off as when I came to, the lady beside me was fast asleep and practically in my seat." He grinned seeing Arthur's shocked look. "The stewardess came over and offered to wake her but she wasn't any real trouble, better that than having someone who wants to tell you their life's story."

"What happened?"

"We hit a pocket of turbulence and she work up and was so very apologetic about it. I just laughed and said that I had been asleep too and hadn't really noticed."

Arthur thought, if ever they flew together and Merlin fell asleep, he would be happy to have Merlin sprawling all over him. They he felt embarrassed and hoped that he hadn't blushed.

Merlin asked, "Did you like Nairobi? Do you get to see any wild animals?"

"Yes and I made sure that Laurence and Paul went to visit the park outside the city of Nairobi. My father took me on one of his African trips and I think I enjoyed the animals as the business was the same as in London except there was more sun." Arthur could feel the little box in his packet but decided to hang onto it until Merlin and he were alone.

"All right, let's eat!" Adam said as he came to the table with their plates. The meal was good and later Arthur felt sure that the company had also been responsible. Adam was perfect as a host. He kept the conversation flowing and had them avoiding any difficult situations. When they were finished they took their refills of coffee into the main room and the conversation became a little more serious.

Adam mentioned that Arthur had phoned Tim on the Friday morning and he had got back to him that evening. "He was worried," he said as a way of introducing the subject.

Arthur said, "I was, Merlin, as I had expected to hear from you. I was surprised that you hadn't phoned so I phoned you Tuesday night but there was no answer. You never picked up. I was disappointed because...we'd had a nice to on the weekend...and you'd promised to phone.

"Then you phoned on Wednesday night but you never said anything."

"It wasn't me..." Merlin said quietly.

"I had to work but I kept my phone with me, finally on the Thursday I spoke to Gawaine and told him to get Adam's number. He finally did and the next day, I got in touch with Tim.

"He promised to give my number to Adam and then we got in touch, on the Friday, I think." Adam nodded and Arthur continued, "It then became so mixed up, I was so far away and I couldn't get any information and I was beginning to wonder if you were..."

Merlin looked at him and said, "I wasn't...I just kept thinking that one day I would get free."

"Adam and I spoke on Saturday and then you phoned but it wasn't you, it was a stranger…that really worried me." Arthur was breathing hard and said, "Merlin, what happened?" He put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands.

Merlin froze, he wasn't ready for this. He could talk about it to Adam but what would Arthur think. Would he stand up and leave him? How do you tell someone who you think you like that you have been assaulted physically and sexually not once but on subsequent occasions by someone that at one point you loved. He was beginning to shudder, he couldn't stop and knew that Arthur would see him.

He stood up holding onto the edge of an end table and turning to Adam said, "Please, tell him! I can't...!" and he wobbled and collapsed on the floor.

Adam was on his feet immediately, he picked Merlin up and laid him on the sofa and told Arthur to sit with him, then left the room.

Sitting beside him, Arthur looked at the man whom when he had last seen him was alive, vibrant and fun. Now, he had a drawn look to his face, his eyes had lost some of their spark as if he had experienced the feeling of not being able to cope. His heart went out to him. If he had loved him then…he really loved him now.

He took his fingers and moved Merlin's hair off his forehead, lifting his hand, he held it to his lips and kissed it. He whispered, "Merlin, get well soon. I have things to tell you."

Adam walked in as Merlin stirred, opening his eyes and seeing Arthur so close to him, he had raised his other hand and with his thumb traced Arthur's lips. Adam handed Merlin a pill and a glass of water, "Get it down!" he said. "It will just take the edge off your stress." Merlin took the glass and the pill.

He turned to Arthur and said quietly, "He wants me to tell you what has happened, which I will as he has asked me to, but I am hoping that he will make comments if not take over in the end. I have cancelled my afternoon appointment as I think that I should remain here. Please, Arthur, listen carefully. It will explain everything which happened prior to the last incident. If you want me to stop, just ask. If you want to leave...tell me."

"What are you two taking about?" Merlin asked as he put down the glass. "If it's about me, I want to hear it...!"

Adam said, "I was just telling Arthur that if you really want me to tell him what happened, I will have to go back at least four years."

Arthur who was watching Merlin saw the sudden shiver and the look of pain on his face.

Merlin looked at him and said, "Arthur, I want you to hear what happened but I am worried that it will be upsetting, I have been really stupid."

"Merlin,"Adam said, "you were the victim. Regardless of what happened, you are the survivor."

"Now...!" Merlin said under his breath.

"No, Merlin, not only 'now' you were from the very beginning," Adam said. " You were used by someone else. If you want you can go and sit in the kitchen and make us more coffee."

"I'd rather stay here. Arthur. I'd like you beside me, it will help. Let me at least try, Adam. You'll know if I am all right. I can help answer any questions, Arthur has. If I get too upset you can stop and..." he looked hopefully at Arthur saying, "...and maybe you could come back tomorrow if needed."

Arthur took Merlin's hand again and said, "If you think you can, I'd like you to be beside me as well."

Merlin nodded and turned to Adam saying, "Let me start…"

He looked straight ahead and said, "I'd never had a proper boyfriend, then I realised that one of the older, well-respected professors was watching me. He'd nod to me at meetings and say, 'Good Morning!' when he saw me in the hallways. One day, he mentioned that he was going out for a drink with friends and wondered if I'd like to join them. He was good looking and I was soon to find out very rich."

Arthur looked at Adam, Merlin was telling the story himself. Adam put his hand to his lips and shook his head at Arthur and they waited for him to begin again.

"Stupidly, I was thrilled, this man has asked me out. The more I thought about it the more thrilled I was. We went out that night with older men and a couple of their younger boyfriends. I should have read the clues in front of me but I was so impressed that a senior professor liked...me..."

Merlin stopped and as if he were reliving the events saying quietly, "I was young, inexperienced and he swept me off my feet!"

Suddenly, he put his head in his hands, his shoulders were heaving and Arthur knew he was sobbing. He put his arms around him saying, "Merlin, you're all right, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Adam picked up Merlin's mumbled, "But you will when you know the whole dirty story."

Finally after a few moments, Merlin said, "Adam, it's harder than I thought, could you continue?"

For the next hour, Adam explained what Merlin had gone through three years ago.

Arthur was shocked! How could this have happened to Merlin? Why had his friends not realised what had been going on?

Keeping an eye on Merlin as he spoke, Adam carefully kept the account low key and within the bounds of common decency. For Merlin, this needed to be a time of releasing memories, not of accusations of his behaviour.

Adam also kept an eye on Arthur, he had purposely glossed over graphic details, which were Merlin's alone to divulge should he wish. Arthur seemed shocked and Adam saw him taking frequent peeks at Merlin who had never looked directly at him.

Every now and again, Merlin would make a comment and Arthur could pick up the pride in the therapist that Merlin was involved and talking about his feelings.

When Adam got to Neil's neighbour's sitting beside him on the floor as they waited for the paramedics, Arthur couldn't refrain from showing how emotional he had become and had started sniffling.

Adam had sensibly when he returned with a pill for Merlin, brought in a box of kleenex which he had put on the table. Merlin now reached for a couple and handed them to Arthur.

Merlin said putting an arm around Arthur's shoulders, "It's all right, Arthur. I survived, a little worse for wear but I am still here."

"But how could he have kept going when he realised you wanted nothing more to do with him?" Arthur said, then turning to Adam he added, "I don't think he loved Merlin...not really, not like you or I would have loved him."

This last statement hit home with Merlin who began to get emotional again, so Adam said, "Arthur, understand that a vital part of Professor Carver's life depended on being the dominant partner, the person in control. He considered everyone his subordinate. He was not a man to consider how the other person in his life felt. He needed to control them completely, belittle them to the point that they began to question their self worth...to destroy them. Love had nothing to do with it."

Merlin seemed to gain a little control as he said forcefully, "And I survived not once but twice."

He noticed Adam nodding in agreement, "Yes, you did!" said Adam, "He didn't and the proof is that we are here together talking about it."

Turning to Arthur, Merlin said with a passion of someone who has survived, "Neil didn't win…I'm still here, Arthur!"

Arthur looked at him and smiled, the spark in Merlin's eye had returned and he resembled more the person whom Arthur knew. He smiled at him saying, "You must have friends in influential places."

Merlin thought seriously and then said from the heart, "Maybe not me exactly, but I think my mother has a direct line to Heaven!"

As the story progressed, Merlin had more to say. He took over from Adam explaining how he'd spent time in hospital and then many an hour with the police but how Neil had trumped everyone by enrolling himself in an anger management residential programme and how the university had accepted that as remorse and given him time off.

"I finally returned to university and continued teaching. I had regular sessions with Adam who helped my through the rough times. I had put everything behind me, I met someone I thought I liked and had travelled to London to visit him."

Arthur took his hand as he continued his story.

Adam might have not have been in the room, as far as Merlin concerned. He was only conscious of Arthur. "We'd had such a wonderful time and I promised to contact him Tuesday evening… I remember finishing my last student session on Monday and retuning home…then nothing. I woke up on, it must have been Tuesday, chained to a bed, in a cellar. I kept worrying that you would think that I wasn't interested enough to phone you.

"I was alone for maybe two days. I recognised Neil's voice when he came in." He dropped his head saying, "He left me bruised and bleeding and didn't come back for maybe another day." He added bitterly, "He did however leave water and protein bars, to make sure I'd survive."

He made no mention of the mental torment he had gone through during the time he was chained. "Then I was alone for maybe another two days before he came back. One day, I heard noise in the cellar and knew he was coming back. Then I heard Adam's voice and I knew that I had not been forgotten by everyone and that I was no longer alone. There was a lot of noise in the other room in the cellar and finally the door was opened and I saw Adam and then Tim.

"I was taken to hospital and then released to them, I had to see the police the following day and then came back with them to London."

Adam could see that Merlin was exhausted mentally, it was the first time that he had ever said anything to anyone else but the police about what had happened. He stood up and said, "I think we need to take a break. Merlin, would you like something to drink? Tim will be in soon and if he's had a hard day, he'll want a whisky." He put four glasses on the liquor cabinet in the corner and said to Arthur, "I can offer you Glenlivet, Glenfiddich or if you prefer I think I have bottle of Irish Teeling. Name your choice…"

"Glenfiddich, please!" Seeing the choice of Adam's glassware he knew there was no need to add 'straight' as he would never had contaminated the whisky with ice. Arthur was impressed to see the Glencairn glasses, of which his father would have totally approved.

He smiled at Merlin as he asked for a splash of the same. "I don't drink," he had explained, "Used to years ago but found that I was quite happy being a minimal imbiber but today, I think if you're both going to drink I'll join you. My grandmother would have probably asked if I wanted a dash of whisky in my tea, that was her answer to having a relaxing drink! Mind you, she also referred to gin as that other medicinal compound."

Adam and Arthur laughed. Merlin's afternoon had not dampened his humour. He seemed quite at ease with himself.

They heard a key in the door and Victoria's patter of feet as she raced to great her owner.

Tim walked in and said ,"Arthur, I presume, How are you?" Seeing the relaxed looks on the other's faces, he added, "Merlin had spoken of you, nice to meet you!"

-0-0-

Adam decided that Merlin and Arthur needed time alone so he reminded Tim that they were going out for supper with his sister. Tim fell right in with the ruse and added, "She's going to have a baby soon and once it arrives, our social outings will probably change."

They left once they'd finished their drinks and had freshened up. Adam said, "Victoria missed out on her afternoon walk, could you take her out Merlin?"

Merlin nodded, wondering if he was going to feel uncomfortable with Arthur when the others left. He picked up the empty glasses and took them into the kitchen, rinsing each one careful and then placing them to air dry. He smiled, "Adam is rather particular about these glasses, he treats the with great respect."

He paused and then added, "As you have seen he is very thoughtful and kind, especially to me. His mother knew my mother and we were friends long before we ended up in the same school. I think he spent his days keeping an eye out that I was managing all right. I only wish that every boy who realised that he is different from his classmates had a friend like Adam."

He paused, then added, "There was never anything sexual between us. I see him as what I believe an older sibling would be like," he smiled, "Well, a nice kind older brother, that is!"

Arthur smiled saying, "I think that I could have done with someone like Adam when I was growing up he might have made me realise a few things sooner than I did…"

Victoria's barking when she saw Merlin reaching for her leash, forestalled any further discussing on that subject.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21** **: SECRETS REVEALED**

Tim opened his menu saying, "Exhausting day, was it?"

"Well it started out all right, and then Arthur phoned and within minutes, he'd been invited to lunch. Merlin seemed to be coping so I thought that maybe a meeting at our place would give him that little bit of extra courage he needed. I like the chap, he's intelligent, sensible and I can see why Merlin might have taken to him. Of course, Merlin wanted Arthur to know his history and he gave me the go ahead to tell him everything. I knew how uptight Merlin might become depending upon Arthur's reaction and felt that I should stay around.

"I took the time to cancel my afternoon appointment saying that an emergency had come up and the client quite happily agreed to rebook. It went well, Merlin was involved minimally to begin with but then as we reached what had happened since he met Arthur he became more involved and in the end took over telling everything himself."

"What did Arthur say?"

"Very little. He listened attentively and on a few occasions when Merlin was upset he held his hand and even put his arm around his shoulders but he was never accusatory in his manner towards him. None of the 'But why did you let him do that to you? You should have gone to the police. Why didn't you run away? I would have.'

"He became emotional when I mentioned the older man who was Neil's neighbour sitting with Merlin on the floor in the corridor waiting for the paramedics. He cried but Merlin hugged him saying that it was all right, as he'd survived, a little worse for wear maybe, but he was still here. Actually we owe Arthur a lot of thanks.

Tim said, "I should think so if he hadn't had that Gawaine character reach us, God only knows the condition Merlin would have been in when found…if ever!"

Their meal arrived and Tim raised his wine glass saying, "To a satisfactory session for Merlin and an eye opener for Arthur," Adam raised his glass and drank to the informal toast hoping that it was so.

-0-0-

Arthur and Merlin had walked side by side around the square. Arthur didn't know if he wanted to broach the subject of Merlin's abuse. He felt that it should come from Merlin, as maybe he was exhausted and would rather not talk about it.

Merlin suddenly said, "Do you want to go into the park?"

Arthur was ready to say 'Sure if you want...' when he realized that Merlin was talking to the dog not him. He started to laugh and when Merlin looked at him questioningly, he said, "I thought you were talking to me until you mentioned playing with the ball." He realized what he'd said and blushed, talk about being stupid, what would Merlin think?

He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and saw that he had his head down but with a grin on his face before he could say anything else, Merlin interrupted him. "I think maybe. It's a bit too soon for that," he said before adding, "Don't you, Victoria?" He was still grinning and took the opportunity to reach out and take Arthur's hand, Arthur was happy, he had Merlin back and together they would get through whatever difficulties lay ahead and then he remembered that he also had secrets.

Merlin suddenly said seriously, "I missed you so much. I knew that you might have been phoning me but I didn't know what had happened to my phone. I just lived one day after another chained to a bed. I was able to get up and walk maybe three feet away do I did exercises and whenever I heard someone on the steps, I'd yell out, however those old houses are well built and no one heard me. I figured out by the sound of the church bells and the traffic and the kids' voices that I was in the cellar of my own house."

Arthur let Merlin talk; he had a feeling that it was good for him to get it off his chest.

"I worried that you would have decided that I didn't want to talk to you and I was just being difficult. Seems Neil had my phone."

Arthur said, "I know, I did at first think that you had maybe changed your mind about staying friends but I knew I needed to be sure by hearing it directly from you. On the Wednesday, I received a call and it was from you or so I thought. No one spoke and I kept asking if you were all right. Now I know it was that man on the other end.

"All sorts of crazy things went through my head, that you'd had a crash and your phone was picked up by kids and you were lying in a ditch somewhere."

"Close, but it wasn't kids and I was lying on a not so comfortable bed in a deserted cellar."

Arthur gave his hand an extra squeeze before continuing, "I was so far away and then I decided to have Gawaine get in touch with your friends in London. How he did it, I still don't know but he came up with the telephone number of the flat late that night?

"Tim must have thought that I was crazy when I phoned on the Friday but he then realized who I was and agreed to give Adam my number. I was busy trying to juggle work and not ignore the people I had travelled with from London. Nairobi is an interesting city so I played tour guide during our free time. I wanted them to go back to England with some idea of the African continent." He felt the little wooden box in his pocket and put his free hand around it. 'Maybe, now was a good time' he thought.

He said, "I did think of you when I was there, I even bought you a little present. It's just something which caught my eye and all of a sudden, I thought that you would also like it." The look on Merlin's face made Arthur know that it was the right decision to have brought it with him today. "Look, there's a bench over there let's sit down."

Merlin was like an impatient kid, he got to the bench and lifted Victoria up beside him saying, "She'll want to see it too. I love surprises." He then grew serious for a moment and added, "Well, nice ones at least."

Arthur handed over the box saying, "I hope you like it!"

Taking the box carefully, he examined it running his fingers over the carvings. He then opened it and carefully unwrapped the contents. "A baby giraffe!" He started laughing and Arthur noticed that his eyes were filling up.

Feeling very motherly, he said, "Don't cry Merlin, I didn't buy it to upset you. If you don't like it you can give it away." The shocked look on Merlin's face made Arthur realize that the tears were of joy and probably relief that he was still accepted by him regardless of all the awful things he had heard about him that day.

Sniffing loudly, Merlin said, "It's beautiful but how did they get the range of orange coloured particles in the crystal?"

Arthur then explained about the Massai sunstones and Merlin asked, "How old do you think he is?"

Arthur's mind had to jump to realise they were talking about the figurine so he said, "Well, by the length of his legs in proportion to his body, I think he's under a year old, probably around ten months."

"Arthur, he's beautiful. Thank you so much. You've made my day. See, Victoria," he held the little giraffe carefully in the palm of his hand, "...this is a baby giraffe, you may smell it but it's not a toy." He became serious as he said, "I was drawn two ways. I wanted to see you so much and then I was frightened that when you heard what had happened to me you would have got up and stormed out. I think that is why Adam stayed with me today, just in case he was left picking up a lot of broken pieces."

The park was empty, the traffic had died down and Arthur leant forward and putting his arms around Merlin's shoulders and with the little dog sitting between them he kissed him for the first time in ten days. He whispered, "I still like you, Merlin!"

-0-0-

When Adam and Tim arrived home, the lights were on in the living room and Merlin and Arthur were sitting comfortably on the sofa talking. On the table in the kitchen were the remains of an Indian take-away.

Merlin laughed and said knowingly, "There is some shrimp vindaloo left, if you're still hungry, Tim."

"Well, I might just have a little taste!" Tim said which was his regular answer prior to finishing up any leftovers. Adam smiled raising his eyes to heaven.

Arthur stood and said that he should be on his way. He thanked Adam for lunch and said that he hoped one day, they might like to join him for supper at his place.

Merlin added, "You'll love his condo, right on the river with wonderful views."

"I'm sure we will. Yes, supper would be lovely wouldn't it, Tim?"

Tim who was now nursing a carton of curry nodded, "I'd like that. Merlin has mentioned how lovely your place is."

Merlin walked with Arthur to the door. He said shyly, "Thank you for waiting with me until the others came back. Today has been a bit stressful but I'm so glad it's done and you know all about the mess I was in."

The cab arrived and Arthur gave him a little hug. As the cab turned the corner, his phone rang and a voice said, "I'm missing you already! Speak to you when you get home."

Arthur laughed saying, "I'm holding you to that!"

-0-0-

Merlin put his phone in his pocket and walked back into the living room. Adam who was alone said, "I liked Arthur. Is everything all right?"

"Yes…! However I've had close to three years to deal with the mess and he had to hear it all in one shot," Merlin said as he sat on the sofa. "My mind is saying, 'Did I do the right thing in telling him?' I'm worried that he will get home and think about it all night and then have second thoughts about having anything to do with me."

"He seems a very kind man. I agree it must have been difficult for him to learn what you had been through but I felt that he understood what had happened and that you were not to blame. Actually, I was impressed with him"

"But, I'm worried that when he is alone, he might have questions and we won't be there to explain why I couldn't get away. He will feel differently and wonder if I didn't try hard enough."

Adam had a feeling that the man he had just met had enough intelligence to realise how difficult the situation had been in which Merlin had found himself. "What did he say after we left? Did he seem unsettled by what he'd heard?"

"No, he seemed like his usual self." Merlin smiled to himself, "It was nice being out with him...and Victoria!" He put his hand in his pocket and brought out the carved wooden box. He handed it to Adam saying, "He brought me a gift from Africa. Be careful it's fragile."

Adam examined the box covered in giraffes. "It's lovely!"

"You can open it," said Merlin pleased by Adam's remark.

Adam did and his face lit up. "Merlin, it's very attractive. The colours are wonderful and the giraffe is very beautiful. Arthur has great taste. It's a lovely gift. When did he give it to you?"

"We'd finished our walk and we were sitting in the park. He suddenly took it out of his pocket and handed it to me. He said that he had thought of me when he had seen it. Adam, he's really nice, I hope that we can at least stay friends."

"Well, first things first, you have told him what happened and now it is up to him to make any decisions about the future. He might still find the situation a lot to accept all at one go. Sometimes he might seem a little quiet but he might be mulling over in his mind what you've told him. Abuse stories affect listeners in different ways, be they family or close friends. Some people take time to process it and others seem to be all right with it and then they react later on to what they have heard.

"Some people immediately ask questions, others keep those questions to themselves hoping they will be answered as the person talks more about what happened. Some family members hold onto the questions, brooding over them, blaming themselves for not realising what was going on, until their relationships are in question."

"What do you think Arthur will do?"

"I can't say for sure but he seems level headed and forthright. One nice thing is that he still wanted you to have the little gift. That was a good sign, Are you meeting up tomorrow?"

"He didn't say, but he did tell me that his father is in Edinburgh and he doesn't have to show up at the office until Monday. Maybe, he will find a few minutes to see me over the next three days."

"Well, let him make the decision. Don't be seen as demanding, you know better than me what he is like, you've known him longer."

Merlin laughed sadly, "Two full days, two suppers one at his family home and one in a pub and our first meeting when the pony was foaling. That's the total of our time together."

"And today and your innumerable phone calls!" Adam added. "You know I'm very proud of you. You faced your fears and shared what had happened to you. I think you are this month's Star Pupil."

Merlin laughed, they had Star Pupils at school and whereas Adam was often on his level's list, Merlin had only once been there and that was because when one of his teachers had been taken to hospital, he'd had the presence of mind to check on her cat and had taken care of it, gaining her heartfelt gratitude. The teachers in his level had decided that his actions had deserved a star. His mother had been thrilled.

"You know I think she still has the certificate," he told Adam laughing.

"So she should...! However, I have to get to bed. Tim will be wondering where I am and I have appointments tomorrow. I put a pill and some water by your bed, so that if you are unable to sleep, it will be all right to take it."

But Merlin did sleep...

 _The dungeon is dark but he isn't alone as he has Plato Mrs. Matthew's cat with him and it isn't in the Cambridge cellar but in the Wakefield Tower..._

 _Adam is leaving to drive across Kenya in a tank with Gawaine._

 _Tim looks after their corner store specialising in London guide books and curry which he never sells but eats himself..._

 _His mother moves to Greenwich to live on The Victory with Nelson's estranged wife, the Viscountess Frances Nelson...and dear Gaius goes ballooning._

 _He knows Arthur is in London and he knows that he is safe as he sees him walking the giraffe which is now adult sized...also anyone living opposite the Tower of London must be brave._

 _Neil can't get him as he is chained to the Executioner's Dock and Adam tells him that it is high tide tonight. Merlin knows what that means…_

 _Everything makes perfect sense._

 _-0-0-_

He awoke refreshed around six o'clock. It was raining but he was ready to start a new day and then it hit him, he had forgotten to phone Arthur last night. Would he be up? No, he didn't have to go to work today. Maybe he shouldn't phone too early, better to wait until nine.

It make no sense staying in bed, he got up and watched people walking to work. Then he felt cold, so he went into the bathroom across the hall and turned on the shower, that should warm him up. He managed to keep his hair dry as he knew it looked better the second day after being shampooed. He was trying to keep his mind occupied but finally the dreaded question made their way through. 'What was he going to say to Arthur when he phoned? That was if he would even accept his call.'

He'd been so happy upon waking but now, he felt physically sick. Should he say, 'Arthur, I'm sorry, Adam and I talked late after you left and I slept through until six.'

-0-0-

Arthur had the presence of mind, when he hadn't heard from Merlin the evening before and knowing that both Tim and Adam were working on Friday, to call Adam, explaining the situation and wondering if Merlin was all right.

Adam apologized, "We spoke until midnight and I gave him a pill that had been prescribed to help him sleep. I heard him in the shower earlier on and I'm sure he'll be down to breakfast soon. Do you want me to tell him you phoned?"

"No, let's leave it as it is. If he wants to get in touch with me, he probably will." He laughed slightly, "...and he'll be full of apologies. I'll give him until noon, well, maybe eleven as I really want to hear from him but don't tell him I was checking up on him."

Adam said, "No, I won't...! Of course, Mr. Brown, I can fit you in this afternoon, Very well, I will see you then!"

Adam didn't hang up immediately and in the background, Arthur heard Tim say, "Ready for breakfast, Merlin?"

Merlin said something which he couldn't make out but he was there and Arthur sighed with a smile and hung up.

Adam put the phone on the table, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, but I did something dreadful... I had promised to phone Arthur and I forgot. It was late and I was tired. It simply slipped my mind. I took the sleeping pill and next thing I knew it was light, around six o'clock, and Arthur might have been waiting all night for my call."

"He knew that it had been a stressful day, maybe he thought you were so tired that you'd fallen asleep," Adam suggested.

"I hope so as I would hate for him to think that I had purposely not called him."

"Have breakfast, then you can give him a call. I'm sure, he'll be happy to hear from you."

"How could I be so stupid, that was the last thing that I said to him." Merlin glanced at the clock and said, "I'll call him immediately after I have had breakfast as he has a day off and I don't want to waken him from his beauty sleep."

Adam nodded, "Good idea!" When Tim glanced at him, he winked as Merlin walked across the kitchen to get some cereal.

-0-0-

Merlin smiled to himself, he felt relieved and optimistic. Arthur had understood, he'd said that he'd figured as much when he explained about the sleeping pill.

"I would wait for you forever, Merlin! Whether it be for a phone call or far a late-arriving train, I'd be there. Maybe you don't realise it yet, but without sounding too soppy, you have stolen my mind and my body, especially my heart." Arthur paused, saying just above a whisper, "Four little words which I can only marvel at, represent my true feelings for you...Merlin Emrys, I really like you...!"

Those four little words uttered with such sincerity, brought home to Merlin the depths of Arthur's trust. He realised that Arthur really didn't care about what awful things had happened in the past, his life had begun that day in the stables at Throgmorton.

He was overcome and he knew that Arthur would have teased him if he could have seen the tears running down his cheeks. He caught his breath and said in all sincerity, "Arthur, I think this is the first day of the rest of my life...!"

 **THE END**

 **In the upcoming story, TWO SOLITUDES, PROTECT AND TOUCH, to be published in October, the characters' romantic interests will continue. Arthur will reveal his secret past and Merlin will take a step back.**


End file.
